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Was I looking for acceptance ? That is one part of the answer. The more I explore that question the more the answer changes. The 'why' is what has always fascinated me when it comes to explorers and exploration. Was I looking for outside acceptance ? That is way to easy an answer and totally wrong . The person who needed to accept me was me! That is perhaps one of the more powerful things I took away from 221 meters - self acceptance.
If you already have it then the story I wrote won't connect. For those people who are struggling to find it, my story rings a bell. It was also important for me to debunk the myth that explorers and so called gurus/ heroes call them what you will (definitely not my definition of me) are different to everyone else. We are not, we just make different choices - which means anyone can get a world record if they want it enough and are prepared to fight themselves and the world to do what need to be done to get there. All of which means the book I would write almost a decade later would be very different - I have learnt new lessons from that dive.
Even on this site today in 2012 a lot of what I struggled to get free from is still around - conversations on diving outside of your training (with strong condemnation for those who do not follow the conventional route/ rules), what is enough experience.... all of those rules and 'forbidden' activities can only be broken if you have a strong sense of self and a very thick skin (still working on the latter). I am most definitely not advocating not getting training, just questioning the blind belief that all you need is training and then you are safe... and what is training ? A course ? Personal practice in skillls without an instructor ? What makes instructors inviolate ? Dangerous questions I know because that type of rebellious talk appeals to people who probably have not replaced formal training with the right level of personal discovery and practice...and who are listening blindly to the advice of people they trust .... and shouldn't.
To break a limit you have to be willing to get outside of not only your comfort zone but what everyone else finds acceptable. On top of which, there is always more than one way to reach a goal. Yes training helps, but so does understanding what you are being told to the point where you can deconsruct it and rebuild it in a new way...one which will be frowned upon as outside the rules and tradition and standards. Tranining is a quicker route to getting that info...so you can break it apart. For most people the training is enough and they never dive outside of the parameters training was designed for.... regretably, I did not fit into that category
Why didn't I write more about the technical side of my diving ? At the time that was the easy part of the story, it formed the 'known'. The technical aspects of deep diving are so dependant on where you are diving and your own physiology that I am not sure a detailed explanation of how and why I made the decisions I made has much value to anyone other than me. A lot of what I chose was based on the risks that I felt were pertinent and if I have learnt one thing it is that we are very, very much individuals when it comes to risk assessment.
Also, everything I did was designed around one type of dive. It has little relevance outside of that dive - unless you take what I did and deconstruct it and then rebuild it to you own circumstances. Now the concepts behind how I dived, those are intersting, because they allow you to build new skills and methods. But that aside, in a nutshell - you can't really follow in some-one else's footsteps - you have to make the knowledge and skills your own.
I also was very good at one particular dive. I know there are divers out there who are better at me at diving, especially this new fangled technical diving stuff (yes, I am a CMAS dinosaur who did the courses to rubber stamp the skills I already had).
I practiced for one set of conditions. I spent a decade learning about me under water, how I reacted, what my body could and could not do....and I learnt a passion for patience and perfection from the man I consider to be the best diver around, Nuno Gomes. I also would not stop asking the question why. Why do that ? What problem are you trying to solve ?
If you take anything from my story take the courage to make diving your own and to be 100% responsible for your own safety. Never put your life in some-one else's hands be they an instructor or a DM or a world record holder
But that is probably my rebel, world record side coming out I have never really been very good at doing what I am told to do - especially if the person doing the telling has no understanding and is just repeating something they learnt by rote.
Safe Diving
Verna
If you already have it then the story I wrote won't connect. For those people who are struggling to find it, my story rings a bell. It was also important for me to debunk the myth that explorers and so called gurus/ heroes call them what you will (definitely not my definition of me) are different to everyone else. We are not, we just make different choices - which means anyone can get a world record if they want it enough and are prepared to fight themselves and the world to do what need to be done to get there. All of which means the book I would write almost a decade later would be very different - I have learnt new lessons from that dive.
Even on this site today in 2012 a lot of what I struggled to get free from is still around - conversations on diving outside of your training (with strong condemnation for those who do not follow the conventional route/ rules), what is enough experience.... all of those rules and 'forbidden' activities can only be broken if you have a strong sense of self and a very thick skin (still working on the latter). I am most definitely not advocating not getting training, just questioning the blind belief that all you need is training and then you are safe... and what is training ? A course ? Personal practice in skillls without an instructor ? What makes instructors inviolate ? Dangerous questions I know because that type of rebellious talk appeals to people who probably have not replaced formal training with the right level of personal discovery and practice...and who are listening blindly to the advice of people they trust .... and shouldn't.
To break a limit you have to be willing to get outside of not only your comfort zone but what everyone else finds acceptable. On top of which, there is always more than one way to reach a goal. Yes training helps, but so does understanding what you are being told to the point where you can deconsruct it and rebuild it in a new way...one which will be frowned upon as outside the rules and tradition and standards. Tranining is a quicker route to getting that info...so you can break it apart. For most people the training is enough and they never dive outside of the parameters training was designed for.... regretably, I did not fit into that category
Why didn't I write more about the technical side of my diving ? At the time that was the easy part of the story, it formed the 'known'. The technical aspects of deep diving are so dependant on where you are diving and your own physiology that I am not sure a detailed explanation of how and why I made the decisions I made has much value to anyone other than me. A lot of what I chose was based on the risks that I felt were pertinent and if I have learnt one thing it is that we are very, very much individuals when it comes to risk assessment.
Also, everything I did was designed around one type of dive. It has little relevance outside of that dive - unless you take what I did and deconstruct it and then rebuild it to you own circumstances. Now the concepts behind how I dived, those are intersting, because they allow you to build new skills and methods. But that aside, in a nutshell - you can't really follow in some-one else's footsteps - you have to make the knowledge and skills your own.
I also was very good at one particular dive. I know there are divers out there who are better at me at diving, especially this new fangled technical diving stuff (yes, I am a CMAS dinosaur who did the courses to rubber stamp the skills I already had).
I practiced for one set of conditions. I spent a decade learning about me under water, how I reacted, what my body could and could not do....and I learnt a passion for patience and perfection from the man I consider to be the best diver around, Nuno Gomes. I also would not stop asking the question why. Why do that ? What problem are you trying to solve ?
If you take anything from my story take the courage to make diving your own and to be 100% responsible for your own safety. Never put your life in some-one else's hands be they an instructor or a DM or a world record holder
But that is probably my rebel, world record side coming out I have never really been very good at doing what I am told to do - especially if the person doing the telling has no understanding and is just repeating something they learnt by rote.Safe Diving
Verna
