Fear of Scuba can be overcome with time!!!

[Izzy]

Hi,

I am a new diver. I have just been certified 4 days ago in Boracay Island, Philippines. I was very very affraid of diving. I met my boyfriend how is a "dive lover" 2 years ago. I never thought about scuba diving before I met him. Not so long after we started going out we were heading to St. Marteen. He registered me in a scuba diving course and rushed me into it. I went for the first lesson and came back terrified. I had problem breathing in the classroom just thinking about it!!! I am not claustrophobic but have tendency not to feel very good when in a close space or with lots of people etc. The fact that he pushed me into it certainly doesn't help. I think that his mistake is that when people have a fear of something you cannot make it better by pushing them. The only reason why I did the course was for him. The course was a 3 weeks course but I realized that it would not be enough for me. So I dropped it and waited almost 1 year before going back again. During that year I was keeping going back and forth saying I would do it and then saying I was not sure etc... So at one point he told me to take my decision and do what I say. Inside of me I felt the pressure and I felt like it was an issue if I don't dive. I never felt reassured by him, his style is more like "talk is cheap, if you say you can do it just do it". This time I took the standard 6 weeks course. After the 6 weeks I wrote and successfully passed the exam but my instructor suggested that I do more pool practice as I was not conformtable enough. For me outside the lessons thinking about diving seemed so easy but every time I got in the pool session I was feeling the anxiety pulling me. I went for about 4 more pool practice and became much much better. Then I was waiting for my next trip down south to take the open water. The week before I left for Philippines I had the same feeling....knowing that it was approaching I felt like I didn't want to do it anymore. I was scared but most importantly I do not feel the same way as my boyfriend about scuba diving. Scuba makes him feel free like he could fly. For me I thought it was ok but I don't think the underwater world is as nice as he does. Anyhow I told him that I was quitting and that I would not be scuba diving because the only reason I was doing it was for him. Right after I felt real bad because I wished I love scuba diving and could do it with him. Before I knew it I was hiding my scuba diving book in my bag and heading to the Philippines. Inside of me I knew I was going to try to do the certification. I felt like I had to do it. I had to overcome my issue and since I was half way through I thought it was better to just finish it and get certified. I figured that the reason why I don't appreciate the underwater world is maybe because I am not use to it and I had confidence that with more practice I could enjoy it too. He does very deep dive and wreck and that kind of stuff. This is not my objective. I enjoy the 40-50 feet dive. For now anyways. So in the Philippines I talked to the instructor and went for a dive with him and he said I would not have any problem whatsoever to get certification. I did all the skills requires for open water in the pool in less than 45 minutes and I was heading in the ocean!!! I did the 4 dives and got certified within 2 days. I had so much pool practices that he said I was way better than average. But inside of me I just don't feel 100% right when I am diving. He assured me that this feeling would go away with time and experience. He was so nice and so good with me. Then after the 4 required dives I went for my first fun dive with my boyfriend and it was terrible. I didn't feel good as I was going down and all the way through the dive. I was having problems controlling buoyancy and not enjoying it. So weird the same morning I was enjoying myself. But anyways I just thought that the next one will be better. I am wondering if it's possible that I feel pressured to dive with my boyfriend and that is why I don't feel good?

I just want to share my story with other people who might be scared about diving. The only thing I can say is :"If I did it, almost anyone can do it too!!! Give yourself time and practice and you will get it. Do it for yourself and good luck to all the new divers. If anyone has the same experience as me with a boyfriend or a girfriend who doesn't dive pls don't push them into it, it really doesn't help.

Now I am looking forward to my next vacations to dive again and I am confident that I can do it, I know I will get better and better. I just hope my boyfriend will be more supportive with me.

 

[brizzolatti]

Hey, Izzy. Thanks for sharing you story. I'm sorry you've had so much pressure put on you. Diving isn't for everyone but sometimes people who are passionate about it try to force it onto others. You have achieved a huge amount and your determination and courage is admirable. MOst folks have some trouble first few dives after certification, particularly with buoyancy. It will come with practice. Remember that your instructor said that you were way better than most students! He had confidence in your abilities, sounds like you need to try and have more confidence in yourself because you are doing great. However, for me the most important thing from your story is that diving is something that should only be done for positive reasons and because someone actually wants to, not because they are forced to are feel they have to for someone else. There are others who have been in similar situation to yours who will say that after a time they came to love diving with a passion. YOu could be the same. Or you might not. Whatever .... do it for you and no one else!! Or, if you prefer, don't do it for you.

 

[dafunkyv]

Dear Izzy,

Sounds like you have been conquering your fear. I think it is best to do it if you really like it. You don't have to be into it like your boyfriend, but if you like it occasionally then you can stick with it and have fun. Just let him know that you need him for support.

I got into scuba diving because of my fiance. He never pressured me though. We both just got certified this summer, but he is more into it than I am. I like it too, but I think it was always a dream of his and now he can finally do it. I am so happy to do it too though. Before taking the lessons I wasn't too scared, we had gone snorkeling sometimes and it was fun. The ony scary part was looking down and seeing kelp trailing off into the deep.

I wasn't scared for the diving until our checkout dive. The water was dark green and we could only see 2 feet. First we went on snorkel and in pretty shallow water the instructor told us to go to the bottom and pick something up, even just a handful of sand. It was only about 7 to 10 feet deep but it was just scary not being able to see anything. I started crying and my fiance had to calm me down. Finally I did it.

Since then I have gone on more dives. I am usually scared at first just on the surface a little but after descending I am fine. I had trouble with buoyancy control too. Last dive I was much much better though and was so proud (even though I held on to the inflator the whole time).

I am lucky that my significant other doesn't push me in this. But I can relate to you on the buoyancy and some of the fear. I do feel better each time and I am glad to be able to share the hobby with him. We went on a trip to Monterey (my engagment weekend) and it was so wonderful. There were so many beautiful fish, lingcod and a lot of rockfish, huge sea cucumbers, sea lions, sea stars... At that time I felt so happy to be a scuba diver. And I must admit I feel cool telling people I am a certified scuba diver.

Good luck with it. I think if your boyfriend is less intense you can really enjoy it together. Or you can make a deal and make him do something he isn't good at yet, learn to salsa dance or something!

Sneha

 

[Izzy]

Hi,

Thanks for your replies and I think you are right I will make him taking salsa lessons!!!

I didn't explain so much about the buoyancy but the thing is that in my pool practice and also in all my open water dives I was very very good with it. My instructor was really impressed. He said that most certified diver are not as good at it as me at the beginning. Only on my last dive with my boyfriend I really wasn't good to control it and I figured it might have been because of the pressure and the stress. I think I wanted to do so good in front of him that I actually didn't. I felft bad the whole time and I was not really looking at the fish. We were holding hands but even then I looked panicked.

At the suface I usually try to take couple of deep breath and sometimes as I go down I feel scared but usually I feel ok when I am at the bottom. I think that going down without the rope is actually much easier and less scary.

I still love my boyfriend!!! and I hope we can enjoy together and that I will feel comfortable. I just think that for him having no fear about it was really hard to understand me.

Anyways as I said I look forward for next time and I hope I will be much better with him.

 

[Izzy]

Hi everybody,

If anyone has a similar story of having a boyfriend or girlfriend who were already diving to share with me I would be more than happy to hear how you went through it.

Thanks,

 

[Erik Il Rosso]

I am a farly new diver and from my point of view I can say...

1) Do not let anyone put pressure on you, take your time, diving should be fun not stress...
If you feel not at ease call out the dive, better on the surface in ok condition than underwater feeling bad...
Do not worry about things like :"What do the other divers will think about me"...

2) The more you dive the more you will be relaxed...
Have you ever thought when you first started to learn how to drive your car ???
Were you relaxed during your fist driving lessons ???
I bet you have no problems in driving you car now, same applies to scuba...

3) During the first 30 dives you will see absolutely nothing, you will be checking your buddy, your BCD, your mask...
When you started driving I bet you were not putting too much attention at the scenery, same applies to scuba...

4) Buoyancy takes time...
Do not expect to master it in a few dives, I extimated that it takes from 30 to 50 dives to obtain a good buoyancy...
As people say :"Rome wasn't built in a day"...

5) If diving with your boyfriend makes you nervous dive with other people and when you will feel ready dive with him...

New skill for couples...

Take reg out of your mouth, kiss each other and then recover your reg, clean it and continue breathing normally...

I take no responsabilities for any increase of adrenaline...

Could be a trick to play to your boyfriend, it is always nice to surprise your lover...

Inform the DM before doing it, anyway...

Ciao Erik Il Rosso

P.S. Must try this skill myself, as Madonna says :"Italians do it better"...

 

[MikeFerrara]

Hi Izzy,

I'm going to be blunt and I hope you don't mind. Peer pressure is one of the very most dangerous things in diving. If we let others push us into doing something that we don't want then we're in the wrong frame of mind to begine with. That leaves us in a very vulnerable state should we run into problems. Diving like other activities is 90% mental so attitude and frame of mind is everything.

There is a reason that only 1% or less of the population scuba dives. That's because 99% or more of the people in the world just don't want to hang out under water or they aren't suited for it. Since most people are in the non-diving catagory, I don't think it's something to feel bad about.

The only reason to dive is because it's fun. If it isn't fun for you then you shouldn't do it.

If you don't want to dive, stop! Your boyfriend might be unhappy about you not diving but not as unhappy as he'll be if you're hurt.
Good luck
Mike

 

[Izzy]

Hi Mike,

I know you are right about what you say but I really did it because I wanted to do it. At the beginning I felt rushed but I decided to do the certfication as a personal challenge. I am confident that I will get more and more conformtable and better diver but if I realize at one point or another that I don't feel good I will stop.

Getting the certification for me was a big thing. It was such an accomplishment. I am so proud of myself. And I will dive shallow dive because this is what I enjoy the most. I would not be scared to call off a dive if I needed to because I feel bad.

When I get in the water I concentrate on what I am doing, I breathe normally all the time, check my gauges etc..

Anyway I am hanging there!!! I am looking forward to dive again.

 

[MikeFerrara]

Izzy once bubbled...
Hi Mike,

I know you are right about what you say but I really did it because I wanted to do it. At the beginning I felt rushed but I decided to do the certfication as a personal challenge. I am confident that I will get more and more conformtable and better diver but if I realize at one point or another that I don't feel good I will stop.

Getting the certification for me was a big thing. It was such an accomplishment. I am so proud of myself. And I will dive shallow dive because this is what I enjoy the most. I would not be scared to call off a dive if I needed to because I feel bad.

When I get in the water I concentrate on what I am doing, I breathe normally all the time, check my gauges etc..

Anyway I am hanging there!!! I am looking forward to dive again.

Just have fun. When it's not fun sometimes it's a warning.

 

[nauifins73]

My husband has been a diver since 1969. After hearing him talk about his classes and the physical requirements it took me until 1999 to decide I could do it. He didn't really pressure me into I decided I wanted to do it and it has become a real passion for me and he isn't to interested anymore.

I have found that we do better when we don't buddy up. We expect to much of each other - we have a better time when he does his thing I do mine. He learned in such a different way from the way I did (thank goodness he took the class with me - he would never have believed the difference 30 yrs made). Now I'm the Master Diver and he just has his OW and that is all he wants.

Until you are more confident that might be an option.

Becky