Hi
@Lauren S, I am glad I hit the right tone with my initial reply. Was worried I might inadvertently step into something. Am even more glad you opened up a bit and found good advice. I pretty much agree with all that
@aquacat8 wrote.
Yes, finding a dive buddy, especially a regular one you can arrive at a good level of comfort and trust with can be difficult at times. You actually are not in that bad a situation there with your hubby diving as well. most important to understand is that you yourself are the diver you need to trust the most. And I got the idea that you already arrived at that conclusion. To get there will take some work and practice and I think you recognize that. Be careful what kind of scuba classes you book in what kind of places. I may have read that incorrectly, but it seemed to me that that refresher class you took was really a trust me dive (discover scuba for two non certified divers) onto which the instructor added you and paired you ad hoc underwater with a non certified diver so he could attend to the diver with the ear problem. To me one additional thing to learn here would be to not to book with that kind of instructor.
So called easy diving (decent visibility, warmer water, friendly sea state little to no current with a good buddy can help you to get more settled. If the good buddy is a problem, a DM or instructor just for you for a few dives might help. Just make it i.e. your goal to arrive at a level of skill that will make it possible for you to dive with your buddy unguided and safely so. You may or may not feel that to get there you need more supervised dives first. That‘s fine, get them. But make them count. Get them supervised by someone who understands your goal and willing to give you pointers to help you get there. Not by someone intent to show you as much as possible to the last drop of air.... (so to speak).
Maybe shelf more challenging conditions (current, cold, bad visibility, real waves) until after you got comfortable in good conditions. One exception to that: Those practice quarry or lake practice dives rarely ever are in good vis no Waves, no current and no dive boat let you and your buddy practice on your terms ... and it can be very helpful to practice in a familiar setting... (but of course it would be oodles nicer on a reef).
Anyway, your head is on the right way. You are thinking about things and you are not out of line at all to have certain things concern you if you have reason to see them as wrong. Even if that reason is incorrect, if you deem something as an issue or as something to head off before it becomes an issue and you put yourself in position to address it and do address it, then good on you because you have what it takes to get good at what you do. Just remember, your safety underwater (in the water, near the water, anywhere for that matter) is first and foremost your concern. So, if next time you signal your buddy to ascend with you because you reached the agreed on pressure to do so and then do that, that is your call to make (and a good call). Of course don‘t ascend into boat traffic and so on and so forth... but that would be “more advanced conditions. For your own comfort level stick with one Step at a time, one extra or different thing at a time... until you are comfortable with it... and then the next step....