i DUN TOLD YA I WUZ BORN IN ALA AN I DUN PASSED MUH SCUBA TEST
THIS HERE WUZ MY STUDY BOOK
MASK - Store sea water samples until you reach the surface.
FINS - Torture device invented during the Spanish Inquisition.
SNORKEL - Breathing tube used to suck in seawater and insects while on the surface.
WET SUIT - Exactly what a diver does when the cold and caffeine kick in.
DRY SUIT - Glorified inner tube and just about as comfortable.
CHECK OUT DIVE - Great opportunity to experience first hand: A. hypothermia B. Fear C. Stupidity D. All of the above.
NARCOSIS - Does that cost extra?
2ND STAGE - Not a theater term.
DEEP DIVE - Depths greater than you find in your bathtub.
SPARE AIR - The air left in your buddies' tank.
BOAT DIVING - A complex task because boats usually don't dive.
WRECK DIVER - What you become after running out of air at 100ft.
EMBOLISM - A bad thing!
OCTOPUS - Large eight legged sea creature which attaches to your face at inopportune moments.
B.C. - The extra flotation you gain after many holiday meals.
C CARD - "And they don't take American Express."
SHARK - Bottom feeding, cannibalistic, spineless, invertebrate (sure it's redundant), often found in courtrooms, newsrooms, and car lots.
GIANT STRIDE - An acrobatic maneuver so called because of the 15 foot drop to the water which occurs when the boat rolls to port while you are exiting the starboard side.
BUDDY BREATHING - An often impossible task because your buddy has long ago left your side in search of the bikini clad, web-footed, neoprene fish.
BUDDY DIVING - "Same day, same ocean - we must be buddies."
"PLAN YOUR DIVE, DIVE YOUR PLAN." - It's like a diving safety mantra only different.
FREE ASCENT - A blazing rush to the surface at about warp 8.2.
BLOWN OUT - Don't even think about those words.
1/3 RULE - Use 1/3 of the day thinking about throwing up, 1/3 of the day actually throwing up, and 1/3 of the day being glad you threw up.
REPETITIVE DIVE - "We're going to the quarry again?"
DIVE TABLES - A complex chart using numbers and mysterious signs created to scramble a divers already overtaxed intellect.
ECO-DIVER - Short for E-Coli (bacteria found on third world dive trips).
TECHNICAL DIVING - "I could tell you but I'd have to kill you."
MAX DEPTH - Your actual depth minus 50ft. Used when describing your dive profile to the dive instructor.
DIVE COMPUTER - A $700 addition to you weight belt.
V.I.P. - "Virtually Impossible to Peer inside a tank."
NITROX - See Technical Diving.
BOTTOM TIME - Time spent sitting on a narrow, uncomfortable bench on the way to the dive site.
PURGE - The button you push to get rid of the chili-dog you belched into the regulator.
NEW-BEE DIVER - "Okay, the doohickey attaches to the what's-it?"
TUB DIVER - Specialist in off season, shallow, freshwater dives.
HYDRO - A monster which feeds on Luxfer aluminum 80's.
FLOOD - What your sinuses do to your mask.
BUOYANCY CONTROL - The art of not cratering the bottom or rocketing past mean sea level.
DIVE LIGHT - A waterproof carrying case for dead batteries.
GEAR BAG - Storage device for sand, shells, old sandwiches, mildewed T-shirts, and stowaway sea critters.
DIVE KNIFE - An underwater magnet for rust that in an emergency won't cut through hot butter.
THIS HERE WUZ MY STUDY BOOK
MASK - Store sea water samples until you reach the surface.
FINS - Torture device invented during the Spanish Inquisition.
SNORKEL - Breathing tube used to suck in seawater and insects while on the surface.
WET SUIT - Exactly what a diver does when the cold and caffeine kick in.
DRY SUIT - Glorified inner tube and just about as comfortable.
CHECK OUT DIVE - Great opportunity to experience first hand: A. hypothermia B. Fear C. Stupidity D. All of the above.
NARCOSIS - Does that cost extra?
2ND STAGE - Not a theater term.
DEEP DIVE - Depths greater than you find in your bathtub.
SPARE AIR - The air left in your buddies' tank.
BOAT DIVING - A complex task because boats usually don't dive.
WRECK DIVER - What you become after running out of air at 100ft.
EMBOLISM - A bad thing!
OCTOPUS - Large eight legged sea creature which attaches to your face at inopportune moments.
B.C. - The extra flotation you gain after many holiday meals.
C CARD - "And they don't take American Express."
SHARK - Bottom feeding, cannibalistic, spineless, invertebrate (sure it's redundant), often found in courtrooms, newsrooms, and car lots.
GIANT STRIDE - An acrobatic maneuver so called because of the 15 foot drop to the water which occurs when the boat rolls to port while you are exiting the starboard side.
BUDDY BREATHING - An often impossible task because your buddy has long ago left your side in search of the bikini clad, web-footed, neoprene fish.
BUDDY DIVING - "Same day, same ocean - we must be buddies."
"PLAN YOUR DIVE, DIVE YOUR PLAN." - It's like a diving safety mantra only different.
FREE ASCENT - A blazing rush to the surface at about warp 8.2.
BLOWN OUT - Don't even think about those words.
1/3 RULE - Use 1/3 of the day thinking about throwing up, 1/3 of the day actually throwing up, and 1/3 of the day being glad you threw up.
REPETITIVE DIVE - "We're going to the quarry again?"
DIVE TABLES - A complex chart using numbers and mysterious signs created to scramble a divers already overtaxed intellect.
ECO-DIVER - Short for E-Coli (bacteria found on third world dive trips).
TECHNICAL DIVING - "I could tell you but I'd have to kill you."
MAX DEPTH - Your actual depth minus 50ft. Used when describing your dive profile to the dive instructor.
DIVE COMPUTER - A $700 addition to you weight belt.
V.I.P. - "Virtually Impossible to Peer inside a tank."
NITROX - See Technical Diving.
BOTTOM TIME - Time spent sitting on a narrow, uncomfortable bench on the way to the dive site.
PURGE - The button you push to get rid of the chili-dog you belched into the regulator.
NEW-BEE DIVER - "Okay, the doohickey attaches to the what's-it?"
TUB DIVER - Specialist in off season, shallow, freshwater dives.
HYDRO - A monster which feeds on Luxfer aluminum 80's.
FLOOD - What your sinuses do to your mask.
BUOYANCY CONTROL - The art of not cratering the bottom or rocketing past mean sea level.
DIVE LIGHT - A waterproof carrying case for dead batteries.
GEAR BAG - Storage device for sand, shells, old sandwiches, mildewed T-shirts, and stowaway sea critters.
DIVE KNIFE - An underwater magnet for rust that in an emergency won't cut through hot butter.
