Inclusive Blonde Jokes Thread

[cdiver2]

Two strangers seated next to each other on the plane. The guy turned to the cute blond next to him and made his move.

Lets talk, he said, I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passanger.

The blond who had just opend a book closed it slowly., and said, what would you like to discuss ?

Oh I dont know the guy said, How about nuclear power ?

OK said the blond, that could be a intresting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is ?.

Oh brother, said the guy. I have no idea.

So tell me said the blond, how is it that you feel quailified to discuss nuclear power when you dont know sh*t. ?

 

[mikswi]

Lol!!

 

[cdiver2]

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent there honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of a hectic schedules it was difficult to coordinate there travel schedules. So the husband left Minnesota & flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send his wife an e-mail. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e=mail address & without realising his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Huston, a widow had just returned home from her husbands funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack.
The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives & friend.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widows son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor & saw the computer screen which read.

* To: My Loving Wife
* Subject: I've Arrived
* Date: 16 May 2004
* I know you"re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now & you are allowed to send e-mails to youe loved ones. I've just arrived & have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepaired for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then! I hope your jurney is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!.

 

[Xtreme]

That's Funny !!!

 

[TazTheSpaz]

Both good ones!!

 

[Travisc]

Plane Is On Its Way To Houston When A Blonde In Economy Class Gets Up And Moves To The First Class Section And Sits Down.

The Flight Attendant Watches Her Do This And Asks To See Her Ticket.

She Then Tells The Blonde That She Paid For Economy Class And That She Will Have To Sit In The Back.

The Blonde Replies, "i'm Blond, I'm Beautiful, I'm Going To Houston And I'm Staying Right Here."

The Flight Attendant Goes Into The Cockpit And Tells The Pilot And The Co-pilot That There Is A Blonde Sitting In First Class That Belongs In Economy And Won't Move Back To Her Seat.

The Co-pilot Goes Back To The Blonde And Tries To Explain That Because She Only Paid For Economy She Will Have To Leave And Return To Her Seat.

The Blonde Replies, "i'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful, I'm Going To Houston And I'm Staying Right Here."

The Co-pilot Tells The Pilot That He Probably Should Have The Police Waiting When They Land To Arrest This Blonde Woman Who Won't Listen To Reason.

The Pilot Says, "you Say She Is A Blonde? I'll Handle This. I'm Married To A Blonde. I Speak Blonde."

He Goes Back To The Blonde And Whispers In Her Ear, And She Says, "oh, I'm Sorry." And She Gets Up And Goes Back To Her Seat In Economy.

The Flight Attendant And Co-pilot Are Amazed And Asked Him What He Said To Make Her Move Without Any Fuss.

"i Told Her, First Class Isn't Going To Houston"

 

[armyscuba]

Nice,,I speak Blonde as well..and have learned not to tell Blonde jokes to My wife. But I appreciate them...Gave Me a good laugh..Thanks

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

Blonde jokes, redneck jokes and derivatives of them have always been acceptable here as long as they are kept clean and stay within the TOS
http://www.scubaboard.com/t18562.html
http://www.scubaboard.com/t34344.html
http://www.scubaboard.com/t2296.html

What is not permitted here is racist comments, insinuations or derogatory comments of other people, no matter who they are.

 

[mania]

Well maybe because I'm not Blonde but i think it's a very good joke!!!!!
An ability to laugh at ourselves is an usefull thing and makes life easier.... Getting offended too easy makes life difficult
Mania

 

[H2Andy]

hey, even blonde redneck jokes are ok...

why does the blonde redneck walk her son to school every day?

cause they're in the same grade