Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[m3830431]

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.


Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

 

[dive bandit]

dumb hicks

 

[ScubaSteve]

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

:lol: Now those are funny.

 

[ScUbA DiVeR]

<FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">> One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room
> to check it out.
> He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going
> at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as
> Johnny closed the door.
>
> After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny. He
> opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and
> little Johnny going at it behind her.
>
> Dad yelled, "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!"
>
> Little Johnny replied, "It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!"

 

[ScUbA DiVeR]

This is crazy!

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT? I could not believe this!!! Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon............
This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain! ​

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY......) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. ​

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've no already done so. ​

 

[ScUbA DiVeR]

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?" Again, the clerk doesn't answer him.

The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"

The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"​

 

[m3830431]

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar.

FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST!

So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her."

The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.

The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"

 

[sandshaker]

Be careful What You Lick

OMG!!!! This sooooooooooooooooooooooo leaves a bad taste in my mouth .. pfftttt

YouTube - Be Careful What You Lick

 

[wstein]

had that happen to you before Sand?

 

[pidgiepoo]

My internal medicine doctor referred me to a urologist.
To my surprise, the urologist was a female, beautiful and unbelievably sexy looking.

She told me that I have to stop masturbating.

I asked her why.

She said, "Because I am trying to examine you."