SCUBA Bloopers

[divekraz]

We were diving in the Caymans with divetech about 10 years ago. A woman in her 40's came over to the dm and asked how she would be able to know which diver was him, once we were in the water. He told her he'd be the one with the yellow fin or the one swimming in circles. The dm was an amputee at the knee on his left leg.

 

[fire_diver]

I was on a liveaboard dive, and we had stopped at a small island that was heavily used by conch divers. After dropping into the water and diving around a bit I came across an anchor with the chain heading out towards deeper water. I figured it had been recently lost by someone. I thought I would help out the boat and see if they wanted an extra anchor (the boat was behind me). They all started laughing because the boat had drifted around (on a long line) and I had "found" thier anchor.

 

[n733lk]

We were diving in the Caymans with divetech about 10 years ago. A woman in her 40's came over to the dm and asked how she would be able to know which diver was him, once we were in the water. He told her he'd be the one with the yellow fin or the one swimming in circles. The dm was an amputee at the knee on his left leg.

 

[soltari675]

Last October I did a halloween dive where we did underwater pumpkin carving. Upon getting in the quarry, I leaned back to put on my fins and dropped one. Unfortunately my fins don't float. I had 4 divers swimming around my feet trying to find my fin. How embarrassing.

 

[Armymutt25A]

In my Rescue Diver class, we had to react to various situations. One was a very over weighted diver who stepped off the dock, dropped to the bottom, and stayed there. My gear was set up on a bench at the end of the dock - all I had to do was pull my mask up from around my neck, slide into my rig, put on my fins, and jump. I got the mask on, and one arm into the BC, when suddenly I was in the water. I managed to step onto the only section of the dock where the planking had broken off on the tip. I would have been ok if I had managed to grab my fins on the way in. I did get the BC on and was ready to assist, but moving along the bottom like an astronaut on the moon probably would have been very effective.

 

[n733lk]

A friend shared this story with me yesterday.

A group of friends was diving off a beach in Florida. One of the divers had to leave the dive early due to a previous commitment, so he signaled to the group that he was ending his dive and heading back to the beach.

Well, about 30 minutes later when the rest of the group returned to the beach, they saw their friends car still parked in the lot. They got very concerned, called the police to begin searching for him, fearing the worse, that he had never made it back to the beach.

10-15 minutes go by and one of the divers decides to try calling their missing friend on his cell phone. The missing diver answers and asks them how their dive went. Without hesitation, the friend on the beach starts questioning him, asking why his car was still in the lot, explaining how worried they had become.

The missing diver says, "Isn't that the strangest thing? A car, exactly like mine, even with a car seat in the same position in the back seat, parked two spots away from where I was parked! I thought that was odd, too!"

 

[nielsent]

I don't know how much of a blooper this is, but it is funny.

I was DM'ing for a class and this student was swimming around and blowing bubbles as normal, but at the end of one inhalation, he apparently was a bit gassy, and his exhalation came out of his shorts. At first I thought he was using his quick dump, but apparently the other instructor at the surface confirmed that it was in fact a "quick dump".

 

[Crowley]

Hmm during my divemaster internship I was guiding some other interns on an easy drift dive. At the end of the dive I whipped out my SMB to demonstrate how to stylishly inflate a safety sausage during your safety stop. I unlcipped my reel which had two clips - one to clip it to the BCD, one at the end of the line. Which one did I clip to my SMB... yup. I rocketed to the surface, breached like a porpoise and felt very silly afterwards.

One of my favourites is a DSD candidate about 18 months ago - he seemed to be having difficulty breathing underwater so I aborted the dive and surfaced at which point I asked him what was the problem... " Sorry," he said, "my teeth are falling out". I wish I wish I wish that he had pulled his regulator out of his mouth with a comedy set of dentures still clamped to the end, but it didn't happen like that.

I apologise to those whose teeth are no longer present in their native environment, but that's the way it always turns up in my head when I tell the story. Incidentally, another guest lost his false teeth a couple of days later. We had to organise a big search to find his sunken gnashers.

Diving can be fun too...!

C.