Nitrox is all inside your head she said to me
It's just a placebo if you think it logically
I'd like to help you get into your BCD
There must be fifty ways to fail at scuba
If you use split fins you are surely gonna die
You'll never pass Fundies until your second try
I know your wireless transmitter's gonna fry
There must be fifty ways to fail at scuba
Fifty ways to fail at scuba
Get a leak in the tank, Hank
Carry too much lead, Fred
Get caught in a cable, Mabel
And cut yourself free.
Run out of air, Claire
Bit by an eel, Neil
Lost in a cave, Dave
Hope you get free!
If you don't use a backplate, you are still a newb
You breathe at the surface through a stupid plastic tube
Your inline octo's gonna need some Cristo Lube
There must be fifty ways to fail at scuba
You took your IDC before you learned to dive
Collected cards before experience had arrived
Surprised any of your students are alive
There must be fifty ways to fail at scuba
Fifty ways to fail at scuba
Ate by a shark, Clark
Caught in the propeller, feller
Get the bends, friend
Dead at the bottom of the sea
Got cut by a mussel, Russell
Jumped in with one fin, Flynn.
DPV ran away, Jay
Just listen to me
Get the next gear fad, lad
Don't use all your dil, Phil
Look at your gauge, Paige
Buddy breathe with me
Get stung by a ray, Ray
Jet to the top, Jacques
Quarter turn behind your Reg, Meg
Out of air in the sea.
Go for some narc, Mark
Ascend pretty quick, Rick
Use a Spare Air, Jer
And Call DAN for me.
