I can fully appreciate the conflict you had. Just remember to listed to voice in the back of your head.
I started another (tongue in cheek) thread here about the "Dark Side" of solo, and a recurring theme is the ability to call a dive without any sort of pressure from a buddy or group. That's when that little "voice in your head" really needs to be heeded...
The "thing" with solo is that there isn't anyone to haul your butt back to shore except you, so best to avoid getting in over your head, if you'll excuse the bad pun...
Some years ago, I had the worst solo experience I've ever had when, for some reason, I started to feel nauseous and then dizzy and actually felt like I might loose consciousness in 100' of water, 3 miles offshore. It got to the point where I had removed my weight belt and was carrying it in my hand as I hustled back to the ascent line, thinking that if I did black out, the belt would fall, and I would at least end up on the surface... in a shipping lane mind you, but it seemed like the best alternative! To this day, I have no idea what caused that feeling, but it might have been that I had had a bit of a flu bug the week before, or possibly a bit of a carotid sinus reflex from a too-tight neck seal in a new drysuit.
After a few minutes on the surface, and a banana, I went back down to retrieve a stage bottle I had left on the wreck, felt great and had a terrific dive.
I hadn't felt "perfect" when I started the dive, but had driven 4 hours, booked a hotel room and dammit, I was going to dive. In hindsight, I should have listened to that little voice and sat out that day until I felt right. That dive was as close as I have ever come to "buying the farm" (well except for the time I almost got washed over a dam, but that's another story...!)
