would you dive with this guy

[DavidPT40]

I know this guy! (or one just like him) No one around here will dive with him (he has a good talk and snags a newby now and then). He thinks all the new protocols are ridiculous ("never got bent before"). He also can't understand what's wrong with a couple 'o beers before the dive.
He tells great stories.
He refuses to change.
The LDS puts up with him 'cause he spends $$.
He hits the bottom like a rock every dive and silts up the site.
He thinks safety stops are for little girls.
He has zero buoyancy skills.
I used to actually feel sorry for him when no one would dive with him, and so I would be his buddy. But now my wife has made me promise not to dive with him. She'd rather I dive solo.

Hey, it sounds like you are talking about MY dive-buddy. But how do you tell a close relative that they are a horribley unsafe diver and you never want to dive with them again? Especially when they bought ALL your equipment for you.

 

[voop]

Hey, it sounds like you are talking about MY dive-buddy. But how do you tell a close relative that they are a horribley unsafe diver and you never want to dive with them again? Especially when they bought ALL your equipment for you.

I think the exact phrase is "Honey, I want a divorce..."?

 

[Fitzy]

Time to come up with a comfortable excuse as to why you dont want to dive with him anymore... Maybe you can start with "you dont want to die as a result of a buddy that can't help you if you need it"

 

[Jason B]

Why does he keep ascending to look for the boat? What happens to you in an emergency while he's at the surface. He doesn't care about you or your life so why should you care about his feelings...drop him.

 

[RIDIVER501]

You wouldn't get in the car with someone who is going to drive irresponsibly/dangerously? Would you? Same thing

 

[pasley]

It is interesting how much experience you have had in the past 3 years compared to his infrequent dives, and he won't listen. He is placing you in danger; both physical and potentially liability wise as a dive buddy (remember it is the idiot’s heirs that sue).

Have a final talk and put it very plainly to him; “I would like to dive with you, but today’s research tells us that a safety stop at 15 feet for 3 minutes and ascent rate of 30 feet per minute or slower is safer. If you can't agree to do that, then I can't be your dive buddy.”

Say it and mean it. DCI is no joke, death or lifetime paralysis is a potential outcome of diving with this clown. Chamber rides are no fun (been there, done that). Maybe on the next dive, when you are diving paired up with someone else (even a total stranger who will agree to diving safely) he will get the message. Especially if his new dive buddy says; “Uh, I think I will do this next dive with Joe over there”.

Personally, I will just tell him, no, I belive your personal diving style is unsafe and I don't want to dive with you.

 

[scubajane]

Thanks for all of your replies...I think I needed to hear it!
Will I dive with him again? His family doesn't want to dive with him and he has been whining about not diving (he turned down going with my dive club to Bonaire)....he has convinced another coworker to get certified (weekend course) and is planning a trip to Grand Cayman with him. As for me, I am diving in a cold quarry next week, Roatan in August and Bonaire in the fall.....I may try again with him...but I will think twice about it and is buddy may end up being the dive master!

 

[Doc Intrepid]

Something for you to think about, scubajane. If you've been reading ScubaBoard for awhile then you realize that, of the responders who posted over the last three pages, they represent a broad spectrum of different diving styles and preferences. Its at least interesting that, to a poster, they were unanimous in their opinion that this individual puts you at additional risk and/or disregards your legitimate concerns.

That might be worth pondering when you next re-consider diving with this person.

 

[Essroc123]

Ummm, the short answer first off is no I would not dive with this person. BUT, if they were to take a refresher course prior to diving. Then why not?

 

[FreeFloat]

To second (and third, and fourth) what everyone else has said -

The fact that you've raised your concerns to this buddy and he does not acknowledge them and is making no effort to change -

This tells me that as a diver he has decided that he does not need to continue learning or even considering other viewpoints on diving style. When you stop learning, you become a hazard to yourself and anyone diving with you.

His complacent attitude would be my biggest 'issue'. I might be willing to give him one last chance, at the same time specifying exactly that, that it's his last chance to change, and state that if he continues in the practices that I felt were unsafe that would be our last dive together. If he truly believes he knows 'better' and will not change to accommodate his buddy (this goes to evolving a plan that's acceptable to every member of the buddy team), he is no longer listening or learning and has become a danger I would not want to be around.