You're gonna die! Creative writing assignment (split from What could go wrong?)

[TSandM]

I'm getting jaded, reading accident and incident reports.

Assume Bob and Karen go to do a dive. They look at the planned depth of 100 fsw, with a multilevel profile, coming up a wall. They compare that profile to their own gas consumption on their HP100 tanks, and conclude that this is a dive they can do. They make a plan for maximum bottom time at depth, and sketch out a desired profile. They gear up on the boat and do a careful head-to-toe equipment check, including breathing both regulators and watching their gauges as they do so. They review the plan and the gas supply each of them has.

They jump in the water and descend together, keeping a watchful eye on the group guide. They execute the dive, paying close attention to the planned profile and comparing it to the dive as it unfolds. They watch their pressure, mindful of the rock bottom reserves they discussed on the boat.

They call the dive at the agreed parameter (gas or time) and ascend together, arriving at the surface as a pair. They remain together until they reboard.

Okay -- here's the challenge. Tell me what could happen [-](other than being eaten by a shark) that could cause a serious accident or fatality, given that the dive is executed as described.[/-]

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A ScubaBoard Staff Message...

Split from the http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/basic-scuba-discussions/320873-well-what-could-go-wrong.html

Let your imagination run (almost) wild!

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[idocsteve]

They jump in the water and descend together, keeping a watchful eye on the group guide...They call the dive at the agreed parameter (gas or time) and ascend together, arriving at the surface as a pair. They remain together until they reboard.

Okay -- here's the challenge. Tell me what could happen (other than being eaten by a shark) that could cause a serious accident or fatality, given that the dive is executed as described.

Karen and Bob arrive at the surface, away from the group and the guide, as they encountered some current at depth, and while watching out for one another, they were not overly concerned with staying with the group.

They float on the surface, and as they look around they realize that they are quite some distance from the dive boat, too far to swim...and the current is pulling them further away by the minute. As they reach for their safety sausages, they hear a whirring roar...it's the blades of a helicopter, and it's getting close...VERY CLOSE!

As Bob is about to remark to Karen about the rapidly increasing sound of the approaching helicopter, he turns to her and sees her looking up and behind him with a look of indescribable horror on her face.

Then all went black for Karen and Bob.

Back at the dive boat, after collecting the rest of the divers, sans Karen and Bob, the divemaster and Captain are worried and discussing their various options. Searching high and low has found no trace of Karen and Bob, although some divers did remark about the helicopter that passed by and wondered if there was somehow a connection, but that idea was dismissed.

Following a massive search by local and regional authorities, over a period of weeks, no trace of Karen or Bob were ever found..until...several weeks later.

The Smith family were excited about their hiking trip. It had been a while since their last vacation as Mr. Smith was quite busy at work and many in his department had been laid off due to the lousy economy. It was either "kill or be killed" and Joe Smith was doing the work previously done by 5 now terminated employees. So it was with a light heart and a wide smile of exuberation that he walked in the door and said "Let's go, we only have 2 hours to catch our flight to Colorado!".

Despite reports of forest fires in the area of their planned excursion, the Smith family was looking forward to the trip. A few burned out acres weren't going to stop them!

The next morning found them at the base of the trail to "Mountain Top Ridge" an infrequently traveled path that would give them scenic views of the nearby mountains, and bring them past some areas that were recently burned out by the forest fires that had roared through the area.

Around lunch time, the Smith family stopped for lunch in a burned out clearing. While Mrs. Smith began to prepare the sandwiches, Johnny and Sue walked over towards a large burned out oak tree because Sue thought she saw something shiny way up in the branches.

As they reached the base of the mighty old Oak..the object in the tree became clear, and they both screamed almost in unison..because hanging from the branches were not one, but two scuba divers, in various stages of decomposition.

Needless to say, the Smith family cut their vacation short and were flying home the very next morning.

 

[RJP]

Okay -- here's the challenge. Tell me what could happen (other than being eaten by a shark) that could cause a serious accident or fatality, given that the dive is executed as described.

Easy...

Both are diving split fins, Air2's, a jacket BCD, and carrying nitrox Spare Air's and all manner of retractors, gear, gadgets, and gimmicks. Karen says to Bob "I was trying to get your attention so you could take a picture of me standing on that giant coral head, but you were busy poking that puffer fish...didn't you hear my tank banger?"

Overhearing the exchange I chime in, "Was that you two with those ****ING TANK BANGERS the whole dive!" That's the last straw...and I proceed to beat the both of them to death with the consoles that they had just dragged all over the reef.

What?! I'm just saying...

 

[RJP]

Well, I really didn't start this as an exercise in creative writing, although some of the answers have been amusing . . . There really was a point to it, which is that following some simple procedures makes everybody have to get wildly creative to come up with a way that anything would go seriously wrong.

Figured that was where you were going.

I think the guy who pointed out failure to analyze tanks got you. The falling off the ladder was close, but since you said they reboarded, I assumed they made it all the way back on board. However...

Bob and Nancy are back on board, and chatting about which elevator lever BCD is best when Bob sees two divers - Jay and Fay - just off the stern, both of whom are calmly floating at the surface, comparing the V-Planner schedule they had on their wrist slate to the actual profile on their trimix computers, and planning whether they will do an S-Drill prior to the next dive or just a bubble check. Jay looks up at the brilliant noon sun in a cloudless sky of brilliant azure. He smiles to himself about having just completed his 10,000th dive, and wonders why the dive op wouldn't let that short german tourist with that funny mustache board the charter. Something about a C-Card? Looking over at Fay, he notices a bead of sweat dripping down her forehead, carrying a little sunscreen into her eye. Stings a bit, so in order to rub her eye she slides her mask up onto her forehead.

Ever the eager beaver, Bob sees this and springs into action..."DIVER IN DISTRESS! DIVER IN DISTRESS! NANCY, ALERT THE CAPTAIN! CALL THE COAST GUARD! PAN PAN PAN!"

Running from his spot at the bow, next to a near-empty tray of brownies, Bob bolts to the stern yelling "DIVER, DIVER? ARE YOU OK?" "DIVER, DIVER?"

Bob is prepared to effect a rescue of a panicked diver at the surface, and while saying something unintelligible about being "AN EMERGENCY FIRST RESPONDER, I CAN HELP YOU!" he rips off his PADI Fleece with OW, AOW, BOAT DIVER, FISH ID, RESCUE and MASTER DIVER patches on the sleeve he jumps into the water wearing nothing but a speedo - and weightbelt still saddled with 32lbs of lead. Bob's sinks immediately to the bottom of the Marianas Trench, never to be seen again. Which is more than we can say for poor Nancy who held on for nearly a week before running into that nice German tourist with a funny mustache that was behind her on line at the charter ealier that week. "Frau, did you Sie meine AOW Karte gesehen haben? Kempt int im mein inner SpareAiren Kasen! Sorry, no matter. Didn't I see you on the DCS Princess Dive Charter the other day? Yes, it was your stroke husband that killed himself...he should have had a Spare Air with him, at least youd have the chance of an open casket.. at which point Nancy simply dies of embarrassment.

 

[Texasdivechick]

Figured that was where you were going.

I think the guy who pointed out failure to analyze tanks got you. The falling off the ladder was close, but since you said they reboarded, I assumed they made it all the way back on board. However...

Bob and Nancy are back on board, and chatting about which elevator lever BCD is best when Bob sees two divers - Jay and Fay - just off the stern, both of whom are calmly floating at the surface, comparing the V-Planner schedule they had on their wrist slate to the actual profile on their trimix computers, and planning whether they will do an S-Drill prior to the next dive or just a bubble check. Jay looks up at the brilliant noon sun in a cloudless sky of brilliant azure. He smiles to himself about having just completed his 10,000th dive, and wonders why the dive op wouldn't let that short german tourist with that funny mustache board the charter. Something about a C-Card? Looking over at Fay, he notices a bead of sweat dripping down her forehead, carrying a little sunscreen into her eye. Stings a bit, so in order to rub her eye she slides her mask up onto her forehead.

Ever the eager beaver, Bob sees this and springs into action..."DIVER IN DISTRESS! DIVER IN DISTRESS! NANCY, ALERT THE CAPTAIN! CALL THE COAST GUARD! PAN PAN PAN!"

Running from his spot at the bow, next to a near-empty tray of brownies, Bob bolts to the stern yelling "DIVER, DIVER? ARE YOU OK?" "DIVER, DIVER?"

Bob is prepared to effect a rescue of a panicked diver at the surface, and while saying something unintelligible about being "AN EMERGENCY FIRST RESPONDER, I CAN HELP YOU!" he rips off his PADI Fleece with OW, AOW, BOAT DIVER, FISH ID, RESCUE and MASTER DIVER patches on the sleeve he jumps into the water wearing nothing but a speedo - and weightbelt still saddled with 32lbs of lead. Bob's sinks immediately to the bottom of the Marianas Trench, never to be seen again. Which is more than we can say for poor Nancy who held on for nearly a week before running into that nice g\German tourist with a funny mustache that was behi nd her on line at the charter ealier that week. "Frau, did you Sie meine AOW Karte gesehen haben? Kempt int im mein inner SpareAiren Kasen! Sorry, no matter. Didn't I see you on the DCS Princess Dive Charter the other day? Yes, it was your stroke husband that killed himself...he should have had a Spare Air with him, at least youd have the chance of an open casket.. at which point Nancy simply dies of embarrassment.

RJP,
More, please!

 

[TSandM]

RJP, you win. I dissolved into laughter while reading that.

 

[iztok]

RJP, this was simply hilarious! Brings back some memories of Rescue class!

 

[Texasdivechick]

Have you thought about writing professionally?

 

[RJP]

Have you thought about writing professionally?

Who's to say I don't?



In fact, my writing has quite likely been in your house many times. Certainly been on your TV.

 

[Tanked]

Who's to say I don't?



In fact, my writing has quite likely been in your house many times. Certainly been on your TV.

You write those commercials for the pill that "enhances that certain part of the mail body"?