Thanks for all the responses...yes, I will definitely try meetup, I'm actually a member and see several meetup events. I really want to figure out my ears and see what the issue is. Equalization seems to be much more difficult for me in cold water here in Southern California than in a place like Cozumel where the water is in the 80s. I've tried the traditional methods, Valsalva, jaw movement etc. but it does not always work. Sometimes, my ears will equalize instantly without any effort, sometimes they will not at all... even when I have no outward sign of congestion. It seems random.
I literally feel your pain! I stopped diving in the late 90's due to family and work and came back around 2008. Since then I have had a heck of a time on my right ear. The last couple of dive trips ended after the first or second dive with a middle ear barotrauma. I took last year off to deal with helping my now teenage twins get into college and other work related items. This year I am resolved to get my right ear working better. Here's what I have been doing after a lot of research on the Internet (Free diving sites and other posts / articles here in the Dive Medicine forum):
1. I order and use 3 times daily the Otovent device. This is a small balloon that you inflate trough a nostril. It helps train you to learn the right level of pressure and techniques to open ETs and EQ.
2. Practice through out the day..... Outside of using the Otovent, I find myself trying to find the sweet spot to opening my right ET. This is a combination of a closed mouth yawn and jaw stretch and jut. Do this behind closed doors so non-divers don't think you have issues...
3. Cut back on dairy products to reduce the amount of mucus in my throat.
4. Nasal rinse every day or every other day to keep my sinus area clean
5. Practice with a EQ mouthpiece in my mouth to again re-train myself.
Back in my youth (I'm 56) I was able to drop like a rock and not have any issues at all...
One of the free diving sites has a pretty good article on exercises to do to get your ET muscles back in shape. There was an interesting statement that hit home for me. You are not necessarily born with the ability to equalize, you have to learn it. I think they are referring to the SCUBA level of EQ where the pressure changes are fairly fast and more severe.
Finally, I will be heading to the pool in February to put all of my training into play. I purchased the IST Pro Ear mask to give that a try and an instructor friend is letting me borrow a full face mask to see if that helps. I find that when I have a regulator in I tense up and have a much harder time EQ than without. My thought is maybe an FFM may give me more freedom of movement with my jaw to trigger/open my ETs then perform a Valsalva.
Hope this helps....