SeaJay
Contributor
ROFLMAO...
Diving with your sighnificant other
- Thread starter BradB
- Start date
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mwpowell
Contributor
First, you should ask yourself, "Does my wife enjoy diving, or does she dive just to appease me"? Be honest with yourself.
From your post, it seems like your wife is too dependent upon you to get her through the dive, and this makes you uneasy (as it should). For example, you mention that you were with her for her OW dives (IMHO a mistake), and that she got the identical gear that you have, which seems odd to me. Has your wife been diving with anyone other than yourself? Seems to me that the only way that diving together will becoem easier for you, is if you are comfortable in you her capabilities as a diver. So, you need to let her develop those skills independently of you.
My $.02,
Mike
From your post, it seems like your wife is too dependent upon you to get her through the dive, and this makes you uneasy (as it should). For example, you mention that you were with her for her OW dives (IMHO a mistake), and that she got the identical gear that you have, which seems odd to me. Has your wife been diving with anyone other than yourself? Seems to me that the only way that diving together will becoem easier for you, is if you are comfortable in you her capabilities as a diver. So, you need to let her develop those skills independently of you.
My $.02,
Mike
bwerb
Hoser/English Translator, eh
What happens if something goes wrong during the "10 minutes or whatever" that you are both diving in the same ocean?
plsdiver4377
Guest
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There is a certain amount stress involved in diving with my wife, although it is lessening as time goes on. Diving with her does make me (and her) absolutely fanatical about working together as proper buddy team. I would generally prefer diving with her, as she is right there in case something does go wrong, which has happened (nothing major) and was handled with ease. I am also fanatical about making sure our equipment is in perfect (as I can make it) working order so that in case of a problem we have working backups
.
On the other hand if it is dive she doesn't want to do (doesn't matter why) with me she is under no obligation to do it. I will find another buddy or I won't do it, there is always another day.
So dive, be good buddies, and have fun.
.On the other hand if it is dive she doesn't want to do (doesn't matter why) with me she is under no obligation to do it. I will find another buddy or I won't do it, there is always another day.
So dive, be good buddies, and have fun.
mech
Contributor
My wife actually got us into this.
She is a fair weather diver and not a very good one at that.
She actually scares the hell out of the kids and I.
The kids actually don't care to buddy up with her.
She only likes warm water so I really can't work on her skills with her in Monterey or BC.
Hey, at least she dives and I'm glad for that but...it would be nice not to spend the first day or so of our vacation time doing re-orientation dives.
Love makes a person do things they normally wouldn't.
She is a fair weather diver and not a very good one at that.
She actually scares the hell out of the kids and I.
The kids actually don't care to buddy up with her.
She only likes warm water so I really can't work on her skills with her in Monterey or BC.
Hey, at least she dives and I'm glad for that but...it would be nice not to spend the first day or so of our vacation time doing re-orientation dives.
Love makes a person do things they normally wouldn't.
FIXXERVI6
Contributor
My wife is my full time perminent buddy. She is one step ahead of my on the certs but we have about the same experience.
The only time I worry about her is when I'm not down there with her. I just tell myself, she is with good instructors, she will be fine.
Her worry for me is our size differance. Her fear is if we are out together and something happens she will have a hard time getting me out if the worst should happen.
She was my dive buddy on my OW dives when she was already OW certified, I didn't see any problems with this, if anything it was good because an instructor was around when we were buddied so if we were doing something wrong or whatever, it could be brought to our attention.
The only time I worry about her is when I'm not down there with her. I just tell myself, she is with good instructors, she will be fine.
Her worry for me is our size differance. Her fear is if we are out together and something happens she will have a hard time getting me out if the worst should happen.
She was my dive buddy on my OW dives when she was already OW certified, I didn't see any problems with this, if anything it was good because an instructor was around when we were buddied so if we were doing something wrong or whatever, it could be brought to our attention.
Zept
Contributor
Diving with a newbie diver is always going to be stressful, but... I wonder whether part of your discomfort comes from the fact that you're doing something that's new to you, too? Since you usually dive 'pretty much solo', maybe you don't have much experience in watching over and communicating with a dive buddy?
It will take some time for her to become an experienced diver. In the meantime, is there anything you can do to become a better buddy? Do you have rescue training, for example?
Z
bwerb
Hoser/English Translator, eh
You die?...
Why risk that with a husband and kids? When you do your dive plan do you anticipate the solo diving portion and take a fully redundant air source or is it just done on the fly?
JohnF
Guest
You're probably pretty close to the truth in what you say. It's interesting to me that this thread came along just as I was whining about something like this to a friend of mine by email. My whine in part went as follows.
"I wish my wife would worry more. She doesn't dive much, and when she does, she's content to rely on me to set up gear and think for her. She's quite comfortable in the water and has surprisingly good trim etc for someone with perhaps 20 dives in 7 years of diving. But I almost wish she'd experience a
cf in the water just to shock her out of her complacency. It sure buggers up my diving pleasure when she's there cuz I expend all my concentration on her and don't get to enjoy the dive. But I can't tell her that because then she'll just stop diving. But then maybe she should stop. Actually, I wish she'd get more into it and start pestering me to take more dive trips."
There's no question that we tend to be a little complacent about "buddy" awareness, at least amongst the folks I often dive with, so perhaps the problem isn't so much my wife's as mine for not being a better buddy. But that being said, she really should be more involved in the gear setup, if only to help her understand how it works.
John F
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