Feel like there are two ways to go:
- If the instructor has done things right, then it is my wife who couldn't cope. If this is the case, it may be wise to opt out of diving.
- If the instructor is wrong, then we can change instructor and try again.
Will very much like to hear more from instructors out there.
First of all, it's hard to know what your first language is, Don Quixote, but it was clear to me right away that the Instructor is a Chinese. While PADI instructors all are meant to follow the same standards and teach according to the same curriculum, if you have a language difference with your instructor, or equally important, a culture difference, there is a good chance there will be a mismatch. When there are language issues, students don't feel that they can ask as many questions and they don't feel as satisfied with the responses. I wouldn't have felt satisfied with this instructor's reply, even if he were a really superlative teacher. For me there would be a huge cultural gap with an instructor simply telling me to keep practicing and I'd get used to it. My culture encourages me to be independent, and this kind of reply would not have been helpful in giving me strategies for solving the issues. If it were me, I'd change instructors for this reason, if nothing else.
Next, even when an instructor and a student share a language/culture, sometimes teaching styles and learning styles don't match up. In this case, it's nobody's "fault," but changing instructors can make a huge difference. In your case, I'd probably recommend private instruction rather than group instruction (is this what you had?), and for your wife I'd recommend a female instructor, maybe one who is a little older and more patient (of course I'm biased in this regard, LOL). Your wife, and perhaps to a lesser extent you, need to get past the negative experience before you can start building positive ones. I doubt very much that your current instructor is going to help you do that. You have already lost confidence in him, so just do whatever it takes to change instructors, and don't worry too much about placing blame. Move forward.