Funniest Dive Story

[Jeff Thomas]

What's your funniest dive story? Something you did, something another diver did, etc. On a beach dive once long ago I tasked another diver to be in charge of the dive flag and secure when we got to our spot after a short surface swim. I didn't pay much attention to what they did with the flag. When I returned to retrieve it as the dive was ending I found this....after the dive we had a discussion on the proper use of the dive flag

: )

 

[MaxBottomtime]

I was working at a dive shop when a customer came in to rent gear. She asked why I had given her two left fins. I had to explain that the letter L meant they were a large size.

 

[Failed captcha]

I was in a diveshop shortly after getting off a bus when another person who was on the same bus asks the diveshop owner's wife if they have freediving.

"No sir, we charge"

 

[txdamselfish]

I thought eating at 3PM for a 7PM LOB departure was a smart idea, plus I put on my Scopolamine Patch at the same time. Yet, waiting outside the dock in the hot Texas sun in July did me in.
I was using multiple "Deluxe hands-free Regurgitation Containment Systems or RCS" available free of charge on the Fling on the way out to the Flower Gardens.

 

[NW Dive Dawg]

Not sure if this qualifies as funny, but in my very first Open Water class as a new instructor, one of my 5 students was a young lady taking the course by herself. She was a rockstar and totally aced the academics. When we went to the pool for the initial swim test she comes over to me and says that she's not sure she can complete the skill requirement. I tell her that there is no time limit and she can use any stroke that she prefers and take her time. She says again that she's worried that she can't do it. I look her straight in the eye and say....." I have complete confidence in you....just take your time, relax.... and I'll be right here"... She smiles and says....."OK" and strides into the deep end and goes straight to the bottom. 20 seconds later, as I haul her onto the deck I say......."You can't swim!!!!" She says, "Yeah....I tried to tell you. I thought it was part of the class!! "

PS..... She came back 6 months later after learning to swim and totally rocked it!

Every subsequent class the very first words out of my mouth were......."Please raise your hand if you can't swim".

 

[BlueTrin]

Was following a buddy pair as we dived in 4s, on the top of a wreck.

I looked at the woman in front of me and I could see a cloud on her right side, like if something dropped on the wreck.

I thought she maybe lost something so I went to look. I saw a circular hole at the top of the wreck and tried to see if I could see an object but it looked deep.

When I looked up I saw her hanging onto a rope that was above the wreck and she looked like she shot up and was trying to stabilise.

After the dive, I asked if she maybe lost a weight pocket. She said I was silly and dismissed me.

A few days later at the end of the trip, she could find one of her BCD weight pockets and then we realised that the hole was effectively a weight pocket that went through the wreck …

She joked that her buoyancy was so much better since that day …

When I saw her back at the club after the trip, she said she wanted to join the Nautical Archeology Society, I mentioned that they would maybe take offense at someone punching holes into wrecks. She wasn’t very amused