I haven't found that number yet. The answer probably depends on the individual answering, the type of group, and the diving venue.
If you prefer a group of four, by all means stick with it. Do what is most comfortable, there is not a right or wrong. We just got back from a week in Bonaire, at Buddy Dive, with a group of 27 members of our local scuba club, and it was phenomenal. Now, most of us knew each other before the trip, so there was existing familiarity and a level of comfort. But, several new divers and new members of the scuba club were on the trip and fit right in from the beginning. It was fun - only one slight misfit in the group, and that wasn't a problem - he did things on his own for the most part. Perhaps, if we went on a trip with 20 people, and didn't know any of the other 18 before the trip it might be different. But, Bonaire - and Buddy Dive - is a great place for a large group. Lots of different (shore entry) dive sites, available transportation so if you want to hook up with other couples / small groups on any given day, you can, nobody forcing a schedule on you. Get up early, sleep in, go dive at midnight - it is up to you. Our general practice was to go to breakfast, find out who was going where, and break up into various size groups on the basis of whatever sounded interesting or different. You don't have to dive, or even socialize exclusively, with the same people each day. There was also no obligation to do things as a large group. On the final evening in town, we did go out to dinner as an intimate group of 26, but that was even fun. I really like having a large group. When I go on a dive trip, I go to dive, and socializing is at most a limited part of the plan. With a group of 20, it is like the Mad Hatter's Tea Party - do something with someone and move on to the next activity. My wife has gone on a number of large group dive trips over the past decade, as a non-diver, and enjoyed having the flexibility to do whatever she wanted during the day. This year, she went to Bonaire as a diver and fit right into the flow. One caveat - I don't know how I would do in a large group on a crowded boat day after day.
So, what made it that way for you?
In 2005 we went to Bonaire with a group of 48, and it was a blast. Again, many of us knew each other already, so it was not merely 48 unaffiliated souls - and quirky personalities - arbitrarily coming together. It was really an adventure, as well. We had a delay getting out of Atlanta on our second outbound leg, ended up missing our flight from Montego Bay to Bonaire, and had to overnight there on the way down. But, the airline put us in a resort, the bar was open and free, and even a tropical monsoon that night didn't dampen our sprits (bad pun). We managed to get from the AP to the hotel, and back again in the morning, carrying a huge amount of luggage, with no mishaps. The stories still circulate through the club to this day. We have been to Honduras with a group of 20, and it was great - about 15 of us came down with a 24 hour GI problem while there, so we even shared the misery, and laughed about it - afterward.
I am probably biased, though. What consistently makes these large group trips work, from my perspective, is the personality and yeoman efforts of the shop owner. Everything - flights, accomodations etc. - is taken care of through the shop, I don't have to search for the cheapest fare, the best flight connection, the available resort space. All I have to do is pay, pack the night before and show up at the airport for the outbound flight. He is at his very best hosting / managing a large group, and thrives on the challenge of chaos. On the most recent shop trip, coming back from Bonaire, we had a very tight plane connection in Houston. Customs / Immigration was very slow, one of the trams ferrying people from the international terminal to the domestic terminals broke down, etc. Most of us were convinced we were not going to make it. He managed to not only get through Customs ahead of most of us, he stopped at an AP MacDonald's on the way to the gate and picked up 30 cheeseburgers in under 2 minutes, got to the plane, and made a personal plea to the cockpit crew to do a S-L-O-W preflight so the rest of us could make the flight, when the gate agent was all set to close the door and leave 20 of us to catch another flight 6 hours later. The pilot stepped off and told the agent to keep the door open, we literally ran through the terminal and boarded the plane, with the owner walking the aisle handing out cheeseburgers as we got seated. That was part of the fun of the trip!
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