Not crazy, not paranoid and if you talked yourself into thinking you had DCS then that is a GOOD THING.
MOST divers talk themselves into thinking they DON'T have DCS when they really do. The time they spend talking to themselves instead of getting treatment makes things much worse.
I am not a doctor and don't play one on TV but I was a commercial diver for many years and will give you my take on things from your post.
I suspect the ear barotrauma may have been caused (or made worse) by the ear infection and was probably not a result of particularly poor technique, other than continuing to dive with an ear problem. This is common especially when people have traveled long distances to dive in an exotic location.
Flying with ear trauma is only slightly better than flying with DCS. It IS going to hurt and MAY do more damage.
OTOH I understand the desire to get home and get treatment in a familar location with doctors you know.
I suspect that when the ear pain let up (during the flight) you then noticed the arm pain that was kept out of your awarness by the pain in your head. I think it was probably not DCS.
You did the right thing by going on O2 and calling DAN, and insisting that the Dr. and others call DAN.
The question of the chamber ride is still, "Did the pain in your arm go away while under pressure?"
What could you have done better?
Call DAN on the ear problems right at the begining. They could advise you and might have suggested treatment before flying. Heck, you might have gotten an extended vacation.
What to do now?
Learn the 5 minute neuro exam and practice it with your buddy before and after diving. With this exam a buddy would notice a significant problem in your arm even if you don't because of the ear pain.
Keep diving!
If you want to see how bad DCS can be and the diver still return to diving read the stories by Richard Pyle;
http://www.bishopmuseum.org/research/treks/palautz97/cmd.html
and
http://staff.washington.edu/parker/scuba/tech/bendstory2.htm
You also might want to investigate 'ear beer', that is ear drops that you use after a dive to prevent ear infections.
Have you watched my favorite ear video?
Go to;
http://faculty.washington.edu/ekay/index.html
and watch the streaming video,
Streaming Video Lecture
"The Diver's Ear - Under Pressure"
Scuba diving and snorkeling can be fun ways to explore the depths - especially if you can clear your ears as the pressure changes. In this video lecture Dr. Edmond Kay discusses techniques for preventing middle ear barotrauma. Learn what to do to equalize pressure in your ears, teach others proper techniques and learn the safest way to prevent "ear squeeze". This talk was recorded live in September, 2000 and is now available for Internet viewing over the University's video portal (broadband only).