"Oh, you're a diver too?"

[nitroxbabe]

Just wondering if any of ya'll other women out there get this kind of stuff. Perhaps I'm being a bit oversensitive, but I'm very tired of getting "Oh, you're a diver too?" from people.

My husband recently completed his Instructor training and it seems like this wonderful pastime of OURS has suddenly become a wonderful pastime of HIS. It's not about US, it's definately not about ME, it's about HIM.

BTW, up until about a month ago, he actively discouraged me from pursuing a professional dive rating: he alone wanted to be the big cheese. Now he's changed his mind, and says he'd like me to become "his divemaster". Or maybe I could become an instructor too, he says, and teach photography and buoyancy while he takes on more technical topics. Feh.

Any comments????? Anybody else have this kind of problem?

(Do I have resentment? )

 

[Snowbear]

BTW, up until about a month ago, he actively discouraged me from pursuing a professional dive rating: he alone wanted to be the big cheese. Now he's changed his mind, and says he'd like me to become "his divemaster". Or maybe I could become an instructor too, he says, and teach photography and buoyancy while he takes on more technical topics. Feh.

Any comments????? Anybody else have this kind of problem?

(Do I have resentment? )

I can honestly say I would be resentful if I had a spouse with this attitude toward me. Hmm, could that be why I have no spouse? wink

 

[cdiver2]

Just wondering if any of ya'll other women out there get this kind of stuff. Perhaps I'm being a bit oversensitive, but I'm very tired of getting "Oh, you're a diver too?" from people.

My husband recently completed his Instructor training and it seems like this wonderful pastime of OURS has suddenly become a wonderful pastime of HIS. It's not about US, it's definately not about ME, it's about HIM.

BTW, up until about a month ago, he actively discouraged me from pursuing a professional dive rating: he alone wanted to be the big cheese. Now he's changed his mind, and says he'd like me to become "his divemaster". Or maybe I could become an instructor too, he says, and teach photography and buoyancy while he takes on more technical topics. Feh.

Any comments????? Anybody else have this kind of problem?

(Do I have resentment? )

judge all men by your husbands standards, its a short life, live it and dont worry about how others see you.

 

[scubasean]

I think you should go get a tech instructor rating and "let" him be your DM....

(j/k)

 

[nitroxbabe]

I think you should go get a tech instructor rating and "let" him be your DM....

(j/k)

LOL actually that thought DID cross my mind...

Ya know, I re-read my own post and realized that the way in which I worded it was prejudicial. Of course, that's to be expected to some extent since the writer is also the person who's pissed off (eg ME).

But really, he's not an ogre (well maybe just a bit... ) In all fairness, I'm sure I do things to harm his self-esteem... it's just that this particular thing is pretty near and dear to me. I no longer enjoy the "cool" factor of being a diver: I'm now an also-ran. It's disheartening.

I came across another thread somewhere (don't remember the particulars) where someone was discussing how diving is male-dominated. Well, perhaps that's not the case in the warmer climes, but it's definately true amongst the cold water divers. There are a few women on the Great Lakes charters from time to time, but regulars? Just me and one other woman, who BTW has training WAY over my current level and is not a suitable dive buddy for me because of that.

But hey, if I go for the tech diving I can ditch my husband and go dive with this other woman! Woo Hoo!

 

[Snowbear]

Just me and one other woman, who BTW has training WAY over my current level and is not a suitable dive buddy for me because of that.

You may not be able to do tech dives with her, but I bet she does rec dives too and is probably a very suitable buddy for you! Ask her - she may be happy to dive with another woman also.

As for the hubby - you obviously will care what he thinks, but cdiver's right - it really doesn't matter what others think.

 

[Doc Intrepid]

Write him a letter. Tell him how it makes you feel. Seal the envelope. Stick it in his dive bag.


Being married means you get to make your point when its important to you.


And, you still enjoy the 'cool factor' of being a diver, no matter who else is too!

We think you're pretty cool!

 

[Rhizophora79]

UGH! I agree. I go to beneath the sea and other dive shows with my honey. The people who run the booths talk to him and just glance quick at me. Then they are TOTALLY shocked when they found out that I was not just a tropical diver. "You have a dry suit?!" They were amazed. I get a bit worked up.

bu

 

[kelpmermaid]

that maybe, when the ink dries on his new instructor card, he'll get over it? I'll bet he's just on a temporary, achievement-related high. I also agree with the others, whatever anyone else thinks isn't relevant.

 

[ScubaJewel]

I have been around diving for more years than I will admit and around more divers than most others as well and I can tell you from experience that this attitude will prevail if for no other reason than most women don't dive as hard as their counterpart men do.

I know that this is not always true and it has been changing more lately then before but it is mostly true.

Most of the women that usually travel on my trips will be the first to take a day off or sit out the second dive or... long before even the weakest of the guys do.

Women do however make great dive professionals and I would encourage you to go for it if that is what you really want to do.

Julie