Weight and body image

[ChrisA]

I think the only thing wrong is that weight loss and physical conditioning is marketed by what you look like. That's BS. I'm a guy who could stand to loose 30 lbs but quite frankly I don't care what others think of me. I need to loose the pounds so I can do stuff I want to do like ride a bike 100 miles at reasonable speed or run up hill both like I used to. secondly there are health reasons. Lots of good resons to get the weightt off but social pressure should not be one of them. the "is ok to be fat movment" is right there with the "is OK to smoke movement". The only good done by either movement is to help balance the Social Security Fund

THat said, many good divers are over weight. Diving may even be the way to loose the weight. If she likes it and dives a lot and then becomes more physically active the weight will come down.

I hope I'm not stepping out of line by posting this, especially here, but a post in another forum just kinda bugged me a bit and I thought I ought to open it up to discussion. I know that weight and body image are a touchy subject...but I'm curious about what attitudes are around here, especially with the women here who happen to be fuller in figure than normal.

Here's the thing, see: my girlfriend (who doesn't dive...at least not yet) is short but big, if you understand, and she's had to put up with body image resulting social problems all her life, so much so that she's aligned herself with the fat acceptance movement and has something of an adversarial stance with the so-called "normal" world which places so much importance on being thin and model-beautiful. Of course I love her a lot and I personally accept the way she looks (I think she's beautiful, no mincing of words), but the constant barrage of anti-weight bias all around from both media and individuals puts a lot of confusion in me, plus it doesn't do anything positive for her I'm sure. And I'd be lying if I said that the 90% of women who are "normal" girth aren't generally attractive...not that it really makes any difference in how I feel about my gf. This recent aggressive crusade against obesity in America is troubling as well...

Anyway, my head is swimming, and I wanted to field this (hopefully) discussion on how you ladies see this thing. Just trying to make sense of stuff as a guy who really really likes a big gal.

cheers

Billy S

 

[ShakaZulu]

I think weight should be an issue of health............

 

[OrlandoRogue]

Working out at an all women's gym definitely gives me a great inside perspective on the health of women at different ages and sizes. I have seen many women who are in great shape physically (basing this upon frequency and intensity of work-outs), but may not be considered the skinniest gals at the gym. And then, I look around and see a twig walking on the treadmill beside me, barely able to keep it up for 20 minutes. So, my thoughts are this: You can be larger than model size, but still be beautiful and in great shape. You can be as skinny as the supermodels, but be in poor health. I would say that as long as you are physically healthy, size should not matter. My only qualm is that once you reach the level of obesity, it does become a health issue and I would definitely try to subtly address the matter with any friend or family members that reached that point.

 

[jrdivagrl]

One thing that bugs me is when people make generalizations that you are fat because you eat too much and dont excersize enough. Yes it is the case for many but i myself have a disease. I think this is one reason why there are so many overweight divers. I think we should all make a pact to try and not judge people. its going to be hard!

Im in.

 

[cdiver2]

One thing that bugs me is when people make generalizations that you are fat because you eat too much and dont excersize enough. Yes it is the case for many but i myself have a disease. I think this is one reason why there are so many overweight divers. I think we should all make a pact to try and not judge people. its going to be hard!

Im in.

I don't need to put others down to boost my ego

 

[BacardiSpice]

One of my dearest friends is obese - and I mean very, very overweight, not just a little heavy. Never, ever have I lectured her on losing weight, nor have the others in our very close knit circle, although the rest of us agonise over it. We're terrified about what it is doing to her health, because none of us want to lose her at an early age. I'm aware of the daily discomfort it causes her, and how it inhibits her overseas travelling and participating in things that we do.

Far from being a greedy or uncontrolled person, she's brilliant, sweet, self-disciplined and dedicated. She's also had some terribly sad and stressful elements in her childhood, that have no doubt contributed to the root causes of the problem. The rest of us want desperately to help her - one even wants to find a spa and take her away for a month or so to get kickstarted on a healthy regime, once she can determine the real reasons why she medicates herself with food. We'd be with her as much as possible, side by side. However, we don't know how to approach it with her without wounding her. As one of my mates said 'there's nothing worse, or more patronising, then pointing out to her what is painfully obvious to her: that her weight is affecting her health'.

If you're carrying a bit of excess weight and are outside the BMI, then I don't think any health or image Nazis have the right to try and shame or badger you into losing weight. If you are more overweight than that, then it is a health issue. But no one has the right to look down on you, patronise you, or feel superior to you just because they happen to weight less. One thing that people who lose a lot of weight notice is the difference in the way they are treated when they're thinner - when they were larger, there seemed to be an attitude that they were slower witted and of inferior intelligence - as if i.q. and waist size were inversely proportionate!

 

[alcina]

Barcardi - sounds like you and your entire group are wonderful friends! Why not just get a girls holiday together and hit that spa. Don't make it about health/weight. That's just where you all want to go and if everyone takes something away from it, fabulous! If not, you all had a great time together.

I agree that how much someone weighs does not dictate their value. I also agree that for the most part it isn't any of my business.

But at some stage those health problems associated with and/or caused by excess weight do become my business because they put extra pressure on an already overstretched health care system...no matter what country you live in. I freely admit that I resent that, as I resent the strain put on by smokers etc.

What the planet needs is more kindness...fat, skinny, average, pretty, not-so pretty, perfect, not-so perfect...each of us can do a little to put out some good vibes & I try to make it an integral part of my day, every day. Some days I don't do so good, some days I do...

 

[cdiver2]

Barcardi - sounds like you and your entire group are wonderful friends! Why not just get a girls holiday together and hit that spa. Don't make it about health/weight. That's just where you all want to go and if everyone takes something away from it, fabulous! If not, you all had a great time together.

I agree that how much someone weighs does not dictate their value. I also agree that for the most part it isn't any of my business.

But at some stage those health problems associated with and/or caused by excess weight do become my business because they put extra pressure on an already overstretched health care system...no matter what country you live in. I freely admit that I resent that, as I resent the strain put on by smokers etc.

What the planet needs is more kindness...fat, skinny, average, pretty, not-so pretty, perfect, not-so perfect...each of us can do a little to put out some good vibes & I try to make it an integral part of my day, every day. Some days I don't do so good, some days I do...

are perfect?

 

[BacardiSpice]

Barcardi - sounds like you and your entire group are wonderful friends! Why not just get a girls holiday together and hit that spa. Don't make it about health/weight. That's just where you all want to go and if everyone takes something away from it, fabulous! If not, you all had a great time together.

I think that's where we're heading, Alcina - I can't take the time off right now (already have a dive holiday booked in December), but some of the 'gurrls' are going to see about a break in the next few weeks. We're all due to go overseas together next year as well.

But at some stage those health problems associated with and/or caused by excess weight do become my business because they put extra pressure on an already overstretched health care system...no matter what country you live in.

I do see what you mean, and agree that it is a problem that must be tackled. Australia and Britain are not lagging far behind the USA in obesity issues, and it does put a strain on the health care system. My father has just had a quadruple by-pass - his sedentary life, smoking and weight finally caught up with him. Now he's quit smoking, and we just need to get him doing some gentle exercise.

I have issues with both the bodyfat/image Nazis and those who want the obese to accept their weight and not try to reduce it. I've never known anyone who has lost weight - and I've known people who have lost substantial amounts - who were happier when they weighed more. Simple things like walking to the shops, bending over to sort papers, keeping up with small children, finding clothes easily on the bargain racks all added up to a great improvement in their quality of life. Health issues such as excess drinking, smoking and eating should be treated sympathetically, but not ignored or treated as a cosmetic problem (note: I'm not suggesting these are all equivalent...there are, for example, social issues such as domestic abuse linked to excess drinking that are not linked to the other two). In all these instances the sufferer needs to determine what the root cause of the problem is, address that, and then tackle the symptoms.

In an ideal world I'd like to kick body fascists who promote unrealistic body images to the same circle of hell as those fad diet peddlers who condemn people to a cycle of diet misery.

I don't feel weight is a 'moral' issue, although people on both sides of the debate try to make it one. It's a health issue, and should be treated accordingly. It is up to the individual to address it in the way they feel is appropriate for themselves.

 

[cdiver2]

This health issue gets old and tiring very fast. What about all the health nuts that strain something at the gym, bikers that fall off, and joggers that keel over from exertion, lets stop all of this its a strain on the health system. And while we are at it we had better outlaw diving talk about a strain. Boats and chopers out looking for them then when they are found the pilot has to stay low if they are bent thats endangering the public.