Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[mike_s]

I think it's also what the cabin is pressurized to.

most commercial airliners pressurize their cabins to 8,000 ft (or slightly lower depending on the plane and altitude flown at).

if you're lucky enough to fly anywhere on a G-V, it's pressurized down to something like 5,000 or 6,000 ft. which helps reduce jet lag.

 

[eponym]

"I'd debrief you, but I'm dead."
--Rick Murcar during cave diving training.

Love it. Going to use it. Could have used it yesterday after a deep training dive fubar, but that would have been too too cruel.

Thanks,
Bryan

 

[TSandM]

Originally Posted by Jeff Toorish
"I'd debrief you, but I'm dead."
--Rick Murcar during cave diving training.

I wish Danny had been that terse.

 

[mkutyna]

A hypochondriac OW student a week or two into scuba skills tells her instructor, "Do I have to do these this week? I drowned last week so I don't want to drown this week."

The instructor replies, "I'm pretty sure you didn't drown last week."

"No, I did. 3 or 4 times!"

 

[Calle Roo]

We attended a meet and greet for local divers. I was seated by a newly certified diver and we were talking about this and that.
"So," she says. "Does each tank count as a dive?"
I thought about it for a second. "W'll yeah," I answered. "I usually put on a tank and swim around on the bottom until it gets to about 500 psi. Then I come back up and log it as a dive."

Steve.

Oh, she was a riot the whole trip we went on in July. She was getting certified, and I couldnt control myself. I'm surprised she even talks to me now.

 

[FritzCat66]

OK, this is a bit embarrassing because it was me - but keep in mind, nearly all my dives are boat dives off south Florida, the Keys, or the Gulf over on the west coast.

...So anyway, I was camping at Ginnie Springs with some non-diving buddies this summer and decided to go visit the ballroom.

Upon exiting the water after a nice dive, I started looking around. Not seeing what I was searching for, I asked some of the other divers who were gearing up for entry, "Do you guys know where they keep the rinse tank?"


:doh2: :doh2: :doh2: :doh2: :doh2:


>*< Fritz

 

[Blackwood]

if you're lucky enough to fly anywhere on a G-V, it's pressurized down to something like 5,000 or 6,000 ft. which helps reduce jet lag.

The Boeing 787 is also pressurized higher than most commercial airliners.

But yah, I'd rather take a hop on a G-V any day

 

[MartianBeerPig]

:blinkingive brief ended with these instructions. Go down the mooring line and wait at the bottom for me.

Diver "Does the mooring line go all the way to the bottom?"


:blinking:Two "divers" on the way to the water..... One barefoot wearing nothing but a speedo and BCD and carrying full foot fins.

Diver One: "Is that all you are wearing?"
Diver Two: "Yup... impressive huh?"

note water temp about 16F at that time and entry over rocks, rubble with lots of sea urchin

Diver Two notices us (fully geared up) having completed our dive.
Diver Two: "Have you dived here? doh2:I wonder how he thought we got wet?) Do you know where the entry point is?"

Me "No idea!"

I imagine it would be a bit difficult to dive in water at 16F.

Shortly before a dive, I was using a bit of shampoo to coat my mask. I held out the bottle to a lady in the group and said 'Shampoo?'. She replied, 'No thanks. I've already washed my hair.'

 

[scubadiver888]

Diving in Florida. They buddy me up on my second dive with a guy who has every possible gadget and most expensive gear. I tell him that I'm diving EAN36. "Don't worry, I understand" he says. Then drops down to 100+ on entry. It was an enjoyable solo dive.

Staying at a resort, first day of diving a guy shows up to a boat dive with something the size of a foot locker. They tell him he cannot bring that thing on the boat and to just bring what you need. He proceeds to take out dozens of things and clip them to himself. One of the experienced divers leans over, points at the other guy and whispers, "Christmas tree."

 

[sunkmail]

A hypochondriac OW student a week or two into scuba skills tells her instructor, "Do I have to do these this week? I drowned last week so I don't want to drown this week."

The instructor replies, "I'm pretty sure you didn't drown last week."

"No, I did. 3 or 4 times!"

If you want to get real technical, Drowning is teh process of taking water into your lungs, not death resulting from the water in your lungs. So it is possible to drown without dying.