Wife Trouble.....help!

[Jaksonbrown]

Has anyone here who is an experienced diver ever got their spouse or significant other involved in diving? Im sure there has.... my question is this....

My wife loves to dive, but is VERY VERY slow swimmer,.. I am working on her kicking technique with her, but it is going slow.... In a current,.. I have to litterally drag her along to keep from getting swept out to sea at certain sites....
Consequently my anxiety level of worring about her and constantly keeping an eye on her has made my diving experience miserable. I sit here depressed as hell due to a dive we had yesterday in which we once again got pushed by the current and had to make a unplanned for accent and a long surface swim....She can see my frustrations and is getting down herself... Her complaint is that she just cannot keep up with me and I am doing frog kicks just barely moving....

You instructors out there.... How long does this go on before it gets better?... Any suggestions on training aids, tips, etc?...
I really want to dive with my wife, but somehow I have to get her to a point that I am not panicing about her safety and making myself miserable at the same time....
Has anyone ever tied another diver to themselves with a tether?
I would greatly appreciate any advice anyone could give me....

Edit,... To those just reading this,.. perhaps I painted a bad picture... I am not dragging my wife around by the hair or anything,.. she has a tendency to get disoriented, wander off,.. or just float away in the current without trying to stop herself....
I am looking for possitive suggestions on how to help her become a better diver as well as positive suggestons on how I can be a better teacher and companion....

This is not a bitchin session about her shortcomings, but hopefully a valuable tool to educate myself better and make her time in the water more enjoyable...

Thanks again,...

Samson-

 

[wedivebc]

What's the hurry? People who swim slower underwater consume less air and see more. I am amazed at the detail I can see when I go slow and watch small creatures that I would have missed if I zoomed by.
As far as current is concerned I always try to plan my dive so that the current takes me to where I want to go.
Buy her a camera and relax.

Has anyone here who is an experienced diver ever got their spouse or significant other involved in diving? Im sure there has.... my question is this....

My wife loves to dive, but is VERY VERY slow swimmer,.. I am working on her kicking technique with her, but it is going slow.... In a current,.. I have to litterally drag her along to keep from getting swept out to sea at certain sites....
Consequently my anxiety level of worring about her and constantly keeping an eye on her has made my diving experience miserable. I sit here depressed as hell due to a dive we had yesterday in which we once again got pushed by the current and had to make a unplanned for accent and a long surface swim....She can see my frustrations and is getting down herself... Her complaint is that she just cannot keep up with me and I am doing frog kicks just barely moving....

You instructors out there.... How long does this go on before it gets better?... Any suggestions on training aids, tips, etc?...
I really want to dive with my wife, but somehow I have to get her to a point that I am not panicing about her safety and making myself miserable at the same time....
Has anyone ever tied another diver to themselves with a tether?
I would greatly appreciate any advice anyone could give me....

Samson-

 

[Deep-Thief]

Get some DPV's. You will have a blast and then both of you will go the same speed.

 

[seaducer]

Well, to start with, consider yourself lucky to have a spouse that loves to dive. My advice?

To start off with, scratch high current off the list, your wife is not ready for it.
To deal with current, she should get going with an exercise program that improves cardio, and also increases both leg strength as well as muscle endurance. Jogging, cycling, walking fast in sand, stair climbing, a weight training program (meaning lifting not dieting) is a good place to start.
Technique helps in current also. Make sure her gear is streamlined, and stay close to the bottom or side of a wall ec, where there is a buffer zone from the current.

Realize that in the sites that she is not overwhelmed by current, that going slow is the preffered method of diving. You will use less air, see more critters, and be safer in better control of yourself. So if she is just a slow swimmer, no worries, she figured it out already and you are trying to be Micheal Phelps.
If however she is a weak swimmer, then she needs to work at it to be a safer diver.
Instead of being anxious, or tieing her to you like leashing a dog, pick sites with little/no current, time your tidal dives to be at slack, or enjoy drift diving where you are not fighting the current. Soon enough her training program will allow her the strength and endurance to enjoy the more strenuous locations, and you can both enjoy the dives.

 

[Diver0001]

Has anyone here who is an experienced diver ever got their spouse or significant other involved in diving? Im sure there has.... my question is this....

My wife loves to dive, but is VERY VERY slow swimmer,.. I am working on her kicking technique with her, but it is going slow.... In a current,.. I have to litterally drag her along to keep from getting swept out to sea at certain sites....
Consequently my anxiety level of worring about her and constantly keeping an eye on her has made my diving experience miserable. I sit here depressed as hell due to a dive we had yesterday in which we once again got pushed by the current and had to make a unplanned for accent and a long surface swim....She can see my frustrations and is getting down herself... Her complaint is that she just cannot keep up with me and I am doing frog kicks just barely moving....

You instructors out there.... How long does this go on before it gets better?... Any suggestions on training aids, tips, etc?...
I really want to dive with my wife, but somehow I have to get her to a point that I am not panicing about her safety and making myself miserable at the same time....
Has anyone ever tied another diver to themselves with a tether?
I would greatly appreciate any advice anyone could give me....

Samson-

This is usually partly a question of style and partly a question of making a plan that suits the capabilities and habits of both divers. If you're doing long surface swims after a dive then you're probably swimming too far before turning around, for example.

My advice given what you said:

1) don't dive in currents with her until you're on the same page.

2) meet her 1/2 way. Maybe she's a bit slow for you but maybe you're a bit fast for her.

Dave had a good idea. Get a camera but don't give it to her, use it yourself and force yourself to slow down.

R..

 

[siikik]

I agree with Dave. Take time to watch the fishies. If that's not good enough, what about some more efficient fins for her? It might only be how she is kicking, as in bending the knees does not make for an efficient kick. Go to a pool (or somewhere without a current) so you can watch her and/or teach her how to kick if she needs it.


Ken


Ken

Ken

 

[Walter]

Get her into streamlined gear with Jet Fins to deal with the current. As for speed, slow down.

 

[DiverDurf]

I hear your frustration, but as someone else has already said, be glad your wife dives with you (mine will not dive at all). Seaducer is "spot on" with the advice given and I've got nothing else to add. Well, okay, maybe two things: (1) I'll second the DPV idea, and (2) your wife had to successfully do an emerency CESA to get OW certified, right? That means she can at least swim with a reasonable amount of effort, so her speed is what it is. As long as she can make an emergency ascent (CESA) then you are probably expecting too much out of her as a beginner. I would love to dive with my wife and enjoy the scenery together, and then I would find other dive buddy's to do different (i.e., faster swim) dives with. That way you'll satisfy your wife's concerns of holding you back, you'll be much happier diving along with her and taking in what you see, and you'll have developed a reason to do even more dives with others in your league. Don't push her and let yourself get down to the point that she quits diving because of guilt. You are married and KNOW how that will work: ten years from now you'll have a simple argument over the toilet seat lid being left up during the night, and before you know it she's blasting away about how YOU made HER quit diving ten years ago because you are ALWAYS impatient! (LOL)

 

[OldNSalty]

What seaducer said!

Man, I only wish I could get my wife to dive with me. She keeps saying she wants to but never commits to it. Slow down, enjoy the dive, stay out of the current.

 

[Jaksonbrown]

Thanks for the advice..
I guess my biggest question is .... Do all of you out there that dive with your spouse have a unusually high level of stress and anxiety over worrying about your spouse? I mean,.. I cannot keep my eyes off of her because I worry so much about her safety... Its not that she is a bad diver or dangerous or anything... I just worry so about her so much I find myself bound up in knots.... I guess this just subsides with time and practice??

Samson-