Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[mike_s]

that's funny?????????

nope....

it's also email drivel that is not accurate.




I personally think the "cars for clunkers" is a scam on the taxpayers, but it's not taxable on your federal income tax.


from CARS.gov - Car Allowance Rebate System - Helpful Q&As for Consumers - Formerly Referred to as “Cash for Clunkers”

Is the credit subject to being taxed as income to the consumers that participate in the program?

NO. The CARS Act expressly provides that the credit is not income for the consumer.​

However, states might tax it and you pay tax on it when you register your car.


from CARS.gov - Car Allowance Rebate System - Helpful Q&As for Consumers - Formerly Referred to as “Cash for Clunkers”

Do I have to pay State or local sales tax on the amount of the CARS program credit?

MAYBE. The question of whether a consumer must pay State or local sales tax on the amount of the CARS program credit depends on the sales tax law of each State or locality. Consumers should review the law of their respective States or consult a tax advisor to answer this question.​

 

[mlkco]

And they call it progress

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'
The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.


Women did all the work, Medicine man free.. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'

 

[dmoore19]

nope....

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That was my point, cash for clunkers was a joke but wasn't funny.

 

[mike_s]

Here's some Cash for Clunkers humor

New Bumper Sticker

 

[dmoore19]

:lol::laughing: Now that's funny!

 

[Ed L.]

Miss Beatrice ,
The church organist,
Was in her eighties And had never been married. She was
admired for her sweetness And kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him
into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while
she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute glass
bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water
floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones,tThey began to chat .
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer
resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about
this?' Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it
wonderful? I was walking throught the Park a few months ago
And I found this little package on the ground..
The directions said to place it on the organ,
Keep it wet and that it would prevent
the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.

 

[santafejoe]

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.

'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.'

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost?'

The doctor quickly responded, '$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.'

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

'Why is the male brain so much more?'

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used.'

 

[Deefstes]

We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used.'

But then again, you have to kill a dozen women to piece together one brain.

 

[crd_kats]

But then again, you have to kill a dozen women to piece together one brain.

 

[mike_s]

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used.'

I figured the female brain would be more because they "Know it all" already"