ScubaTigress
Contributor
aaaaaaaaaand i just tried licking my elbow.....
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ScubaTigress
Contributor
santafejoe
Contributor
santafejoe
Contributor
Ten Thoughts to Ponder 2010
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible
rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the Internet and
they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when
you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought For 2010
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers;
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible
rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the Internet and
they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when
you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought For 2010
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers;
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"
Atomic_Diver
Scubaboard Enthusiast
"Mom mom mom mom mum mum mum mummy mummy mummy mummy mama mama mama ma ma ma ma" "WHAT!?!"... "Hi"
Atomic_Diver
Scubaboard Enthusiast
Life Takes Visa, and for everything else there is Master Card, so why don't you Discover that what's in your wallet is not just an American Express....
Atomic_Diver
Scubaboard Enthusiast
Ok so one night my friends Jack, Capt Morgan, Jim, Johnny, and I decided to go hunting for some Wild Turkey, ol Jack looked up to the cloudless Skyy, and said "Well I hope the Moon Shine is strong enough (so we can see)" the rules to the game went as follows: who ever catches the Wild Turkey with the Black Label first gets the Crown Royale to have as Proof that they can drink the night away!
mlkco
Contributor
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. An Italian police officer stops them and says:
"Itsa illegala to putta five-a people in a Quattro." "Vot do you mean, it's illegal ?" the German driver asks.
"Quattro means four!" the policeman answers.
"Quattro iz just ze name of ze fokken automobile" , the German shouts ...
"Look at ze dam paperz: Ze car is dezigned to carry 5 people !"
"You canta pulla thata one on me !" says the Italian policeman. "Quattro meansa four. You havea five-a people ina your carre and you are therefore breakinge the lawe!"
The German driver gets mad and shouts "You ideeiot ! Call ze zupervizor over! Schnell! I vant to spik to zum vun viz more intelligence!!!"
"Sorry" the Italian says, "He cantta comea.
He'sa buzy with two guys in a Fiat Uno."
"Itsa illegala to putta five-a people in a Quattro." "Vot do you mean, it's illegal ?" the German driver asks.
"Quattro means four!" the policeman answers.
"Quattro iz just ze name of ze fokken automobile" , the German shouts ...
"Look at ze dam paperz: Ze car is dezigned to carry 5 people !"
"You canta pulla thata one on me !" says the Italian policeman. "Quattro meansa four. You havea five-a people ina your carre and you are therefore breakinge the lawe!"
The German driver gets mad and shouts "You ideeiot ! Call ze zupervizor over! Schnell! I vant to spik to zum vun viz more intelligence!!!"
"Sorry" the Italian says, "He cantta comea.
He'sa buzy with two guys in a Fiat Uno."
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