I really think you should be very careful where you dive and with whom you dive. You referred to the dive culture which is a good question and what it relates to.
The basic bottom line is you took classes and training in a sport that the basic certification means you're fully capable of scuba diving, handling your equipment, planning and executing a dive without assistance. That's the base line. There is the other culture in 'vacation' diving that has developed over the years where some locations and some diver operators working in these locations have created this 'valet' dive service which basically means they handle all your equipment, set it up, break it down etc... then you've got other locations where they cater to really bad divers and they basically have adopted a way to get everyone into the water, herd them around and get them back out no matter what their skills or abilities. But there are other locations where you're on you're own.
So in one camp, you really shouldn't be scuba diving if you can't get in and out of the water by yourself. It's not really safe, you can't be a buddy to another diver, you have limitations on yourself and being a fair weather diver, safe as long as nothing goes wrong or conditions don't unexpectedly change. It's just a really dicey situation to be in your position and you really need to be careful, fully explain your limitations to the dive operations you will dive with, really be careful in where you dive, diving in really tame locations.
But its not surprising that you will receive a mixed reaction from dive crew if they aren't previously aware of your limitations, because really the bottom line is you're supposed to be able to get on and off the boat in the way the boat operates, not every dive location or situation is safe for divers to be qued up it the water taking all gear off, big waves, lots of current etc.. and the boat has to maintain position and such and there can be situations where that just isn't going to work and the crew is going to freak out, or just freak out because they have somebody with really excessive needs on their hands without knowing about it. I mean at what point do you cross over from just being a diver who needs a hand now and then and when do you cross over to really being a disabled diver?
You might want to think about live a boards, the situations are more condusive sometimes to your style, you will be diving with the same crew day after day, they are more about taking care of the guests in special ways etc...
I'd say just research and make phone calls and really discuss before hand with the dive operations your circumstances and make sure you're comfortable that they will be able to accomodate you. I wouldn't expect to just show up and have all these special needs and spring that on a dive operation, you're going to continue to get mixed reactions.