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Now, I've been working out at the gym for a few years, but my workouts have gotten kind've routine. And I've definitely put on more weight than I care to carry around. So I decided this was the year I was going to do something different and put my body in better shape. Back in December I hired someone to put together a fitness and nutrition program designed specifically for me. I told her I was gonna be ready to get started about one minute into the New Year ... so here we are. This past week I've changed both my eating and exercising habits rather dramatically.
The fitness part of this consists of five separate workouts. Today's workout was called Abs and Metabolic Conditioning, and today was the first time I was going to be doing it. Now ... for those who know me ... just the concept of abs in my body is pretty damn funny. I know they're in there somewhere ... but my six-pack grew into a keg years ago, so it's going to take some work to unbury those bad boys.
The way this works is that there are a number of exercises, each with a specified number of sets and repetitions per set. Some I'm familiar with due to my previous workout routines ... and some I've never done before. For those latter ones, I've been watching YouTube videos and taking notes on what to do and (perhaps more importantly) what not to do. You see, I go to the gym at 4:30 in the morning so I can get in my workout first thing ... before my body wakes up and has a chance to realize what I'm doing to it. So I opted to do this new program "remote control" ... without the help of a live trainer who can watch me. And that leads us to today's exercises.
The first exercise was "crunches". These look somewhat like a poor man's sit-up where you only come up a part of the way ... not even that much of the way, actually. So they should be easy ... right? The gal on the video sure made it look easy. So after my warm-up stretches I got down on the mat, got myself into position, and go at it. I'm supposed to do 15 of these each set. After about the first three I was ready to call it done! How can such a simple exercise be so damn hard? Well, maybe it's because the gal in the video was, like, 25 years old and 105 lbs ... and I'm 63 and 250! OK ... so it's gonna take more effort. By the time I reached 10 reps my body was in total Roberto Duran mode, screaming at me "no mas, no mas!". I resigned myself to the fact that I'm gonna have to work my way up to a full set. Standing up was a challenge ... my head was swimming, and my first couple steps were ... I swear to God ... sideways! I had to steady myself and wait for the wah-wahs to dissipate. But after a couple minutes I was ready try it again. I somehow managed two more sets before moving on to the next exercise.
The next one is called a "medicine ball v-up". It consists of laying on your back, taking a 5 lb medicine ball in your hands behind your head, lifting it up while at the same time raising your legs, and placing the ball in the space between your shins. Then you lay back down with the ball on your lower legs, raise up again and "toss" the ball back from your legs to your hands. Looks simple in the video ... kinda fun, actually. In reality ... are you kidding me? The first try the ball rolled off of my legs and hit me in the head ... it didn't even come close to my hands! After a quick look around to make sure nobody saw that, I took it a bit more slowly ... concentrating on the movement ... and actually managed to catch the damn thing. After that I made steady progress, and by the time I was on the fifth or sixth repetition I pretty much had the hang of it. And it was fun ... well, it would have been if it weren't that my belly and sides were aching like they do when you laugh too hard. I made it through the first set, but ain't no way I was gonna make three more sets today. I managed (barely) to get in one more set and moved on to the next exercise.
The next few exercises went well enough I was familiar with most of 'em. There was the planks and the leg raises and a new one called the wheel rollout that was actually kinda fun. Then I got to the metabolic circuit ... this is a series of four exercises you do in quick succession, and I'm supposed to repeat the series a total of four times. It starts out with this lovely little piece of acrobatics called a "burpee". This is where you go from a standing position to the floor, do a pushup, then hop up and REACH for the sky. Once again, the young woman on the video made it look easy. Except that my body doesn't bend that way. Instead of a quick little "drop" to the floor, mine looked more like a semi-controlled fall. I got through the push-up part OK ... but then getting back up again was problematic, and my reach to the sky was more like a desperate plea for help. Good lord, I felt like Rodney Dangerfield in "Easy Money". I think I'd better practice this at home a few times before I have to do it in public again next week. People tend to get a little distracted when they're laughing, and I wouldn't want any of my fellow gym rats to hurt themselves.
At any rate, I made it through the program. It was kinda like falling in love, actually ... my knees were quivering, my head was spinning, and I definitely wasn't thinking clearly. Oddly, I'm finding myself kinda looking forward to next week to try it again ...
... Bob (Grateful Diver)
The fitness part of this consists of five separate workouts. Today's workout was called Abs and Metabolic Conditioning, and today was the first time I was going to be doing it. Now ... for those who know me ... just the concept of abs in my body is pretty damn funny. I know they're in there somewhere ... but my six-pack grew into a keg years ago, so it's going to take some work to unbury those bad boys.
The way this works is that there are a number of exercises, each with a specified number of sets and repetitions per set. Some I'm familiar with due to my previous workout routines ... and some I've never done before. For those latter ones, I've been watching YouTube videos and taking notes on what to do and (perhaps more importantly) what not to do. You see, I go to the gym at 4:30 in the morning so I can get in my workout first thing ... before my body wakes up and has a chance to realize what I'm doing to it. So I opted to do this new program "remote control" ... without the help of a live trainer who can watch me. And that leads us to today's exercises.
The first exercise was "crunches". These look somewhat like a poor man's sit-up where you only come up a part of the way ... not even that much of the way, actually. So they should be easy ... right? The gal on the video sure made it look easy. So after my warm-up stretches I got down on the mat, got myself into position, and go at it. I'm supposed to do 15 of these each set. After about the first three I was ready to call it done! How can such a simple exercise be so damn hard? Well, maybe it's because the gal in the video was, like, 25 years old and 105 lbs ... and I'm 63 and 250! OK ... so it's gonna take more effort. By the time I reached 10 reps my body was in total Roberto Duran mode, screaming at me "no mas, no mas!". I resigned myself to the fact that I'm gonna have to work my way up to a full set. Standing up was a challenge ... my head was swimming, and my first couple steps were ... I swear to God ... sideways! I had to steady myself and wait for the wah-wahs to dissipate. But after a couple minutes I was ready try it again. I somehow managed two more sets before moving on to the next exercise.
The next one is called a "medicine ball v-up". It consists of laying on your back, taking a 5 lb medicine ball in your hands behind your head, lifting it up while at the same time raising your legs, and placing the ball in the space between your shins. Then you lay back down with the ball on your lower legs, raise up again and "toss" the ball back from your legs to your hands. Looks simple in the video ... kinda fun, actually. In reality ... are you kidding me? The first try the ball rolled off of my legs and hit me in the head ... it didn't even come close to my hands! After a quick look around to make sure nobody saw that, I took it a bit more slowly ... concentrating on the movement ... and actually managed to catch the damn thing. After that I made steady progress, and by the time I was on the fifth or sixth repetition I pretty much had the hang of it. And it was fun ... well, it would have been if it weren't that my belly and sides were aching like they do when you laugh too hard. I made it through the first set, but ain't no way I was gonna make three more sets today. I managed (barely) to get in one more set and moved on to the next exercise.
The next few exercises went well enough I was familiar with most of 'em. There was the planks and the leg raises and a new one called the wheel rollout that was actually kinda fun. Then I got to the metabolic circuit ... this is a series of four exercises you do in quick succession, and I'm supposed to repeat the series a total of four times. It starts out with this lovely little piece of acrobatics called a "burpee". This is where you go from a standing position to the floor, do a pushup, then hop up and REACH for the sky. Once again, the young woman on the video made it look easy. Except that my body doesn't bend that way. Instead of a quick little "drop" to the floor, mine looked more like a semi-controlled fall. I got through the push-up part OK ... but then getting back up again was problematic, and my reach to the sky was more like a desperate plea for help. Good lord, I felt like Rodney Dangerfield in "Easy Money". I think I'd better practice this at home a few times before I have to do it in public again next week. People tend to get a little distracted when they're laughing, and I wouldn't want any of my fellow gym rats to hurt themselves.
At any rate, I made it through the program. It was kinda like falling in love, actually ... my knees were quivering, my head was spinning, and I definitely wasn't thinking clearly. Oddly, I'm finding myself kinda looking forward to next week to try it again ...
... Bob (Grateful Diver)