Your personal evolution in diving, and an etiquette question

[dianna912]

It’s interesting, back in September we were in Hawaii and ended up on a dive with four incredible divers. I had never seen anyone with such incredible bouyancy, and in surge no less. That dive, we probably didn’t move off of a ten meter radius area. It was unusual to me, and slightly uncomfortable, because I was having a hard time with bouyancy in the surge, and I was uncomfortable getting as close to the ground as they were. (My trim was off a bit, and I wasn’t nearly horizontal enough.) On the surface, I asked, and these diving gods gave me some good advice, and the next dive I was in heaven, seeing the reef up close in a way I never had before. Those two dives changed me and changed my style of diving. We actually had two DM’s, one was a bit of a tag along, so anyone could stay in one spot as long as they wanted. (And we all did.)

This experience made Bonaire a whole new world for me, and it made our later boat dives in Maui a big nuisance for me. The DM would hop from one coral head to the next, or the start of a reef to the next with zero time for exploration. We had a couple of new divers in the group, so I sort of understood, but still, it was annoying. Our own shore diving in Maui was incredible, though, along with our diving in Bonaire. I swear, at Andrea I and II, if there hadn’t been a current, I’m not sure we would have moved at all, there is so much to explore!

So, in the Similan Islands, there were three of us. My husband, myself, and another experienced diver. (He had ten more dives, actually.) He was definitely a different style diver, though. He did not like to get up close to the reef and inspect all the nooks and crannies. Probably, like us not so long ago, it was a confidence thing. I ended up feeling like 16/18 of the dives were incredibly rushed, and I felt like I was just peeking my head in a hole in passing. I barely got to explore. Is it unfair in that situation for me to request a slow down? A BIG slow down? I felt torn, like I would be making the dives boring for him if I did so. Some of the dives I understood it, because we were all going through air at a surprising rate, and we were very deep in some areas, so time was very limited there. Our interpretation of the situation was this: if the DM knew of something specific he wanted to show us, he’d haul ass between each of those things. There were a couple of dives where we just got to explore, though, and they were glorious. The currents were tough enough, and we were moving fast enough where we were over exerting on most of the dives, though. I can deal with current if I can just hunker down and breath calmly and get lost in the hunt for macros. I cannot deal with a current if I have to swim into it, and due to the green monster hitting us on just about every dive, there was a significant portion where we were either swimming into it, or acting like pin balls, bouncing through the boulders. My husband and I did get caught in a rip current once, in the Bahamas, on a sail boat, off a bay where there was only one other boat, which by the grace of God, happened to dinghy past us as we were about to be swept out to sea. We were snorkeling, and a storm front rolled in seemingly instantaneously right as we were at the opening of the bay. We were kicking as hard as we could, and getting nowhere. When I feel that feeling, now, I get panicked. I felt that feeling a lot on this trip.

Anyways, all this to say: is it selfish to insist on my style of diving and hope that maybe, like us, the other diver will learn from it? If we hadn’t been pushed out of our comfort zone in Hawaii with those slow, methodical divers, we would have never learned to slow down and we may not have spotted some of the amazing things we now have spotted. A pair of Black Brotulas in Bonaire... THREE Bar Tail Moray Eels in the Similans, an eel the divemaster said he’s never spotted in his three years there. Two nudibranches he’d also never seen, and the cherry on top: a Tapestry Shrimp: which is said to be endemic to Myanmar!

Thoughts?

 

[tbone1004]

if you are comfortable insisting, then assign a dive leader. When it's your turn to lead, you do the dive at your pace. If he doesn't like it, tough sh!t, it's your dive. He can haul on his dive. Bit harsh way to look at it, but when you're with insta-buddies no problem.
I was volunteering with a local high school earlier this year down in Ft. Lauderdale. Big group of high schoolers, and it is drift diving along the barrier reef. I called the divemasters out for going too fast several times. As soon as the students were all out of the water and we were finishing our dive, the other instructor and I just stopped kicking and were poking our heads into everything we could see. DM looked very confused at us, but he was new. We had a different DM each of the 3 days and the last day had a very experienced one who was quite happy to do very little.
There are ways on insisting on your style of diving without being quite as much of an ass about it.

My buddy @victorzamora and I have VERY different preferred dive paces though, so we just alternate who leads and go at that persons pace. Both of us try to me somewhat cognizant of the other, so I go a bit faster than what I'm sure he would consider to be basically going backwards, and he tries to slow down a little bit, but the dives are done at very different paces.

 

[scubadada]

Hi @dianna912

You and your husband should probably try to dive independently as much as you can rather than with a guided group. That would allow you to dive your own style without pressure. Clearly, shore diving in Bonaire is ideal. Many very good operators allow you to dive independently with your buddy or dive with the group. The same is true on many liveaboards. All my diving at home in Boynton Beach is independent, as none of the operators put a guide in the water.

On the other hand, it sounds like you may benefit from diving in a variety of environments and conditions so that you will be prepared should they come up rather than being nervous, insecure, and not confident.

 

[RyanT]

Different operations and boats and people can always throw a wrench into your own dive style. My buddy @Kim Hunter and I have found some dive operations that let us do our own thing. We dive those operations regularly as we like to go at our own pace. We have one operation where we have to dive dive with a guide (the owner) but our styles mesh and so the three of us just dive at our own pace. Of course there are times when you'll want to dive new places and it may not always work out. As @tbone1004 suggested above, if you don't know the operation, just suggest how you'd like to dive and see if they can accommdate it.

 

[agilis]

I dive very slowly, enjoying the reef and all its creatures large and small. I dive this way whatever others are doing. Most of my diving these days has been from head boats in the Caribbean. I usually lag far behind the pack, sometimes becoming completely separated. I've been diving the Caribbean for almost 50 years and am familiar with most of the sites I dive on. Sometimes I'll reverse direction or cut across the circle the pack is describing. I'm not especially interested in buddy arrangements with strangers, and I try to make it clear that I'm likely to be odd man out. This, I realize, is questionable etiquette, and if the pace set by the DM is moderate I try to remain with the group. If the pace is a quick tour rather than a careful examination I simply do what I want. Hell, it's only simple scuba, not deep cave exploration or wreck diving in the Atlantic.

 

[scubadada]

Many of the dives in the Caribbean are out and back on a wall. If you are slow, it's not difficult to turn your dive when the main group is on their way back.

 

[Storker]

Is it unfair in that situation for me to request a slow down? A BIG slow down?

No.

 

[JohnN]

Not unreasonable at all. Unfortunately, there are too many DMs that want to take you deep and move quickly so you blow through your air and they can end the dive.

Get a pony tank and tell the DM you'll move at your own pace, Thank You very much!

 

[jonhall]

The DM would hop from one coral head to the next, or the start of a reef to the next with zero time for exploration. We had a couple of new divers in the group, so I sort of understood, but still, it was annoying.

Will be interested in the experience I have this year. Going to Kauai and Oahu in a few days and to the Big Island in the fall. The last time (2013) on the Big Island our dives were pretty much swims and they had us stay pretty far back from any patches of coral. I saw an octopus and was going to try to get a little closer for a picture but the DM waved me back.

Seems like most of the recent diving I’ve done on the Pacific side has been more “keep moving” types of dives (except for the Cabo Pulmo dive of staying in one place with thousands of jacks swirling around you) while the Caribbean diving has been slower paced and with many ops leaving you on your own to explore.

 

[caruso]

As @scubadada posted above, Bonaire is all about the shore diving. Well not "all", when we were there a year or so back we mixed it up a bit and did some morning boat dives and afternoon shore dives. Even with boat diving you can certainly request you go on your own, and as far as the shore diving goes, it can just be the 2 of you so go and do whatever you want without conforming to the style of other divers.

This isn't only about Bonaire, you can almost certainly find Dive Ops anywhere you go that allow you to go off on your own, there may be some exceptions but call before you go. Or at the very least make your preferred style of diving known and see if they are willing to accommodate you.