Op again...
I, also, don't mean instabuddy as a pejorative and I've certainly been on the learner/newbie end of that situation. There have been instances where I've been paired with more experienced divers who don't seem interested in much of a plan, which doesn’t feel great, and there are times when I've been paired with very new divers where I've though, hell, if I'm the most experienced of us this might not be good. However, rescue diver class has made me feel like I can handle things that go south better. And, as soon as I can, I will pursue solo training.
It's true, though, that I wish there were a way to find more like minded divers. I've found some here in Chicago, which is great, but I was thinking more nationally and internationally for when I'm traveling alone. It would be great to know that there were folks or shops that were likeminded.
Maybe I'll start a FB group for seriously protocol and safety oriented divers. If anyone is interested, DM me.