Help!!! my daughter has lost her mind!

[rfmad]

My 21 year old daughter who has a paid for PHD education at Alabama lined up wants to chunk it all out the window to go marry her boyfriend and move to Puerto Rico and start a diving business together.

Never mind he has no degree and hasn't even the nerve to ask for her hand. They haven't even lived in same country for over a year. She has this wonderful romantic idea of getting married at 21 and living on the beach and chasing pretty fish all day while making $72k a year between them. They have no money to start out with and OH yeah I forgot she has never ever even been diving in her life.

I would appreciate some real world expectations of what running a diving business entails (all the details and work that it takes to run a successful diving business) the nitty gritty behind the scenes boring work that it takes to be successful etc.

Also any feedback and raising family in Puerto Rico would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance

An upset dad

 

[rfmad]

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A ScubaBoard Staff Message...

Twp threads on the same topic started by the same OP have been merged.
boulderjohn

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[Jon_R]

Sounds like fun. 72K a year to chase pretty fish in Puerto Rico as a 21 year old... Where does the 72k come from?

Just my opinion but she is an adult accept that or risk no longer having her in your life by driving her away and I don't mean on a map.

Running a dive business I assume is hard work like running any other business. If you get that info what are you going to do with it? Logically convince her? Sometimes people only learn by doing and best to learn some things at 21 before you have a family and responsibilities.

How about wow that sounds exciting and will be very challenging. I love you and sure you will do great.

 

[Doubler]

Dear Upset Dad,
You are wasting your breath. A 21 year old female "in love" is going to do what she wants and all the talking in the world will not deter her. The best you can do is burn no bridges and be there to provide a shoulder to cry on when/if it all comes tumbling down. Starting any business is hard, a dive business is very hard. You have to depend on locals for year round support and tourists to make a profit. My niece had a full ride scholarship at WSU but tossed it to marry her Army joining High school love. She turned out just fine, has three kids and got her teaching degree in a few more years than planned. She is now a High School Algebra teacher. Good Luck.

 

[tomfcrist]

Ummm. how long has your daughter been in college? Assuming she graduated high schoopl a year early at 17 she would be 21 by the time she finished a 4 year degree, and a freaking genius if in 4 years she finished a PhD. If she is in fact a genius, why are you questioning her decision? If she is not a genius, than you are trolling...and telling sea stories on your first two posts in this board.

My guess is the latter.

 

[Tigerman]

Was she ever truely interested in doing the phd?
Happiness is more important than the ammount of money on the bottom of a paycheck and working with something you dont care for just because you can is not a good way to achieve it...

 

[cb5150]

$72K????? Oh, you meant $27K! (if she's lucky).


Having said that, and being the father of two stubborn 20-something daughters, offer your support, love and advice. She is her own person and the life lessons she will learn from the experience will be worth more than any PhD. I make well over $72K and and absolutely hate my soul sucking job.

Positive thoughts and best wishes for her journey.

 

[Insta-Gator]

Love her, kiss her on the forehead, wish her luck. If it doesn't work out and she doesn't somehow become incapacitated, she can go to school later. OR you can fight like cats and dogs and make her hate you. She's 21, not 11.

 

[djtimmy77]

Sounds like she is lined up for a PhD program that is paid for (tuition + stipend) by a fellowship, grant, research funding, etc and has decided that she wants to run off with her BF rather than move forward with that plan.

I would presume that with not even being a diver that this will be very difficult especially if she doesn't have capital to fund this enterprise.

 

[sskasser]

She's a grown woman. Support her and love her unconditionally, or risk being one of the annoying ties she cuts. You don't have to agree with every choice she makes, but you need to respect her right to make them.