Is it unrealistic to think that one setup could work well for recreational single tank diving in both warm and cold water?
No. You can definitely get a cold water wing that will also work just fine for warm water. It will work better than any of the integrated BCs with the gigantic bladders that are sized to still work for the average vacation diver that is severely overweighted.
What you have picked up on is the purists who translate "a smaller wing will work better" into "you NEED a smaller wing" (for warm water).