According to Confusion...

[The Chairman]

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Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Man with one chopstick go hungry.
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Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails.
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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
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Man who fight with wife all day get no peace at night.
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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

[The Chairman]

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb *******' is it?"

Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."

 

[scuba-sass]

Thanks, Net-Doc!

Nothing like a good couple of laughs on a Friday....

Happy Diving,
Scuba-sass

 

[k4sdi]

Midget,,,, elevator,,, bbwahhhhhhaaahhhaahhahhha

Gezz, I cant see the screen from the tears! ROTFL

in all seriousness, I had a midget for a dive buddy once, pretty good diver!



Mark

 

[TropiGal]

Hey NetDoc...I think I knew that coach - my son calls him "Dad". (chuckle)....
Did I say that outloud????

Thanks for the laugh and I'll pass it on to the former coach!

 

[booga_roo]

A farmer needs a new rooster for his hens so he goes to the farmers market and has a look round. The guy who owns the rooster stall tells him that he has just the thing that he is looking for,

"This" said the man "Is the randiest rooster around, I hav had to separate him form the hens as he is sex mad and won't leave the poor things alone. As soon as he has finished doing the last one in the coop he starts again at te first one."

"Excellent!" said the farmer "I'll take him!"

The farmer gets the rooster home and sticks him in the chicken run. THe rooster pelts over to the chickens and starts his job straight away.. As soon as he is finished with the last one he goes through them all again until the hens are sitting in ther coop looking exhausted.

The rooster then leaps over the fence and heads for the duck pond. He attacks the ducks with the same vigor as the chickens and then has a go at the geese.

This goes on for days until one morning the farmer comes out to find the rooster on his back in the dirt with a wing clutched over his heart, staring up at the buzzards who are circling over head

"Serves you right you dirty so and so" he said thinking that the rooster was obviously on the way out.

The rooster turns slowly to the farmer, cast an eye to the the sky and the buzzards, winks and says "shhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

:stupid: :stupid:

 

[art.chick]

Boog,
don't laugh, but I accidentally adopted a bunch of roosters last summer (and subsequently became a vegetarian out of loyalty) & had to place the boys on a no-kill farm which I visit every weekend. One of the boys, Shamo, has always marched to his own drummer. When the others hit the farm, they went for the hens, but Shamo went for the ducks. This Saturday we celebrated their 1st birthday, & Shamo is still herding his ducks around. In fact, he seems to think he IS a duck, & they accept him. Have not yet exposed him to any sexy buzzrds.

 

[booga_roo]

somebody should get that Rooster an Avian "Joy of Sex" the poor boy has species issues!

 

[SDAnderson]

Man who fight with wife all day get no peace at night.

piece?

Now look what you started.

Steven

 

[The Chairman]

a Double Entendre... two meanings, or words that sound alike... Both are true!