Am I overreacting or not?

[christo651]

First I am new to scuba as are my 2 "buddies". i am more safety oriented than most. I have countless hours of research and reading to help fill in my inexperience. I read as much here and on spearboard as I can that pertains to our type and location of hunting. "Buddy" numder 1 is more of a loner and when we land hunt, I only see him in the morning then again when its dark. this is fine for the land but I feel he wants to be the same in water. We had a discussion last night that ended in some hurt feelings. I say we should dive together as "buddies" as I am responsible for your life and you are for mine. He disagrees and says you are only responsible for yourself. Now I understand ultimatley you are alone, but the whole purpose of having a dive buddy is to have a redundant " me" just like the octo is there as a redundant regulator. I have read many instances whereby somebody gets flamed for not being a good buddy. I will check his gauges periodically and he does not like this. He says he knows to check his air, dont worry about him. He does not do any research as he is completely computer illiterate and likes it that way. He prefers to go on what he hears from others, which is similar to this except for the amount of information vs. finding people to talk with.

I am concerned for his safety. He thinks I am a chicken sh-t sometimes and he says if I do not follow then stay behind. Personally I do not feel scared or panicked but just have more of an incline towards coming home safe. He says I worry too much and all this research and video watching is bad for me and screwing with my mind.

Seems to me everyone diving should dive as their "weakest" link. Personally I do not feel the weakest link just more safety minded. I have been this way my whole life and have even earned the nickname Mr. Safety among those who know me well.

Well after this big arguement some harsh words were said. I personally feel I might discontinue diving with him permanently as I want a dive buddy who cares for my life as much as if not more than his own.

Now the overeacting part. He is coming down off of being sick for a week or so and he was tired and irritable when we started discussing, and maybe he will feel differently when he feels better, but I am concerned this is how he intends to dive. Any thoughts. Am I over thinking procedure.

 

[dkktsunami]

I agree with your friend that you are ultimately responsible for yourself but that does not mean that the buddy system is useless. It is important, however, that if you do have a buddy that you agree on your diving pursuits and that you work well together. If your friend is in the 0 - 24 range of dive experience then he has no business solo diving anyway. You need to find a buddy who is compatible with your style of diving. None the less, you are responsible for yourself, and if you are, you will be a better buddy.

 

[MurkyRockDiver]

Ultimately the decision to dive with him will be for you to make. I am sure in his OW course he was not taught to dive alone and to not dive with a buddy but if that is the way he wants to go then no one can stop him

There are a bunch of reasons why diving with a buddy can make for a safer dive, not always but in most recreational setting it can. Perhaps you could print off some reasons to buddy dive and leave them for him to read when you are not around.

If this guy is a good friend a few harsh words is no big deal so don't worry about it.

 

[tkdgodess]

IMO it's a balance of responsibilty for each other, and responsibility for yourself. I don't need my buddy to check my air during a dive. Do up my drysuit zipper, help heave my tank on. I also don't want my buddy stuck to my shoulder when diving. You lead, I'll follow, or most of the time I lead. Discuss your dive plan, max depth, at what PSI do you turn around, safety stop. During the dive communication is usually: OK, go up level off, 2000, 1000.... and whatever critters we want to show each other, stop (photo opp), cold....

If he deviates from your plan underwater, basically ignoring the plan, then don't dive with him. But if you expect him to be arm's length away the whole time, that can get annoying. I'm not talking same-ocean buddy diving, but give me some space!

Bottom line, you are both certified adult divers. Are you a back seat driver?

 

[dpbishop]

If you are new to scuba, you need to be diving with a good buddy, preferably one with more experience than you. If you are both inexperienced, you can compensate by doing conservative dive profiles and practicing good buddy skills.

You do not need to check his gauges for him, but the two of you need to be close enough to aid one another in an emergency. If you are hunting together, that usually means one diver leads and hunts and the other follows. You can't follow and hunt at the same time. In the time that it takes you to line up a shot and miss, you buddy can be out of reach, even in good visibility. In poor viz, he could be gone. You can switch roles 1/2 way through the dive.

It sounds, from your description, as if your buddy is operating on a false sense competency. Did you both train with the same instructor? If so, maybe he could assess both of your current diving skills and recommend a procedure to follow when diving together that would be commensurate with them.

 

[frankc420]

I wouldn't dive with him. People that have the type of mindset that you've described in your friend are not likely to change. He will never be a safe diver as far as the buddy system goes, regardless of what he might say to ease your mind before you hit the water. Being a new diver it's easy to think your gear is great and nothing will happen, but it will happen, it's like riding a motorcycle.

Dive with him, but not with him as your buddy.

 

[bmcsteve]

I have to say that I agree and disagree with what has been posted here so far... Yes as divers we are responsible for our own safety, etc. But as dive buddies, we are also responsible for each other. My buddy can manage her own air just fine, but we often look at each others computers so that we know where the other is at as far as air consumption, nitrogen loading, remaining bottom time, etc. Also, we are always at the very least within sight of each other, and most of the time within a few feet of each other. How are you going to be able to help if your buddy cant even see you when he/she has a problem?

I wouldn't continue to dive with someone, especially at your experience level, that was so cavalier.

 

[frankc420]

Go diving with him one more time, turn his valve off while underwater and let him decide if the buddy system is in place for good reason.

This is obviously a joke, but until something bad happens he is likely to have the mindset you've described.

 

[Dr Neil]

My question to you is, "do you feel safe diving with him?"

 

[Dub5ire]

You need to buddy with someone who suits your style of diving. What your friend is doing doesn't make him a bad diver, it just makes him a bad buddy for you. Some divers would be happy to dive with him, other divers would rather dive with you.