Anyone else with a spouse that won't dive?

[Jayde323]

Almost all the operators in the Keys are a mixed boat (at least the dozen or so I have dove with)...snorkelers and divers. The boat that goes out of John Pennekamp SP is very diver/snorkeler friendly. It's a big boat and takes alot of people out at a time, but by far it is one of the easier for the diver/snorkeler combo. They tend to go to the more shallow reefs (25-30 fsw). With that in mind the sites they go to can get rather crowded with other dive ops, especially on the weekends. Overall, I like going out with them.

As for the non-diving spouses, I was almost one of them. I am not a risk taker by any means. It took my husband 6 months to convince me to try kayaking. I finally tried it just to shut him up thinking my constant complaining would land me safely back on dry land. Well, I didn't dislike it, so I tried it again. And again...and again. Now we kayak quite frequently. As for diving, I was not having any of it. Then, on a camping trip up to Ginnie Springs he signed us up for a discovery dive. I had no clue what it was, so I said yes. It was OK, but it didn't leave me wanting more. Hubby tried for 3 years to get me to take an OW class, but all that came out of my mouth was NO. Then last year he brought it up again. At the time I was taking the year off work and he was the sole paycheck, so I kind of had to say yes. I called myself the "reluctant co-dependant diver". My aim was just to get thru the class and shut him up. After the first check-out dive, I was in love. So I had to eat a little crow and tell him he was right, and thank you for knowing me better than I know myself sometimes. I am no longer that "reluctant co-dependant diver" even though I can still con him into carrying my gear for me sometimes.

 

[NudeDiver]

Not anymore. I ditched her for one who does.

Wife didn't want to go diving - didn't even want to go on the dive boat. On one trip, happened to get buddied up with a rather bubbly, chatty, and very friendly cutie who is also an excellent diver. We've now been married for over 20 years.

 

[DiverDurf]

Not anymore. I ditched her for one who does.

Wife didn't want to go diving - didn't even want to go on the dive boat. On one trip, happened to get buddied up with a rather bubbly, chatty, and very friendly cutie who is also an excellent diver. We've now been married for over 20 years.

While your story is quite humerous, it's not an option for me. My wife & I are in our 13th year and I've never looked back. She's getting a top notch snorkeling outfit for Christmas and I'm trying to convince her into a January dive to swim with the manatees in Crystal River, FL. She "did" say this past weekend that she's looking forward to snorkeling with me next summer when it warms back up, so that's a major plus. Maybe one day she'll re-think scuba, but I'll stop pushing her for now and focus on the snorkel/scuba mixed charter trips in the West Palm Beach & Ft. Lauderdale areas.

 

[NudeDiver]

While your story is quite humerous...

Good, that's all it was supposed to be

 

[Sinbad the Diver]

Question for the guys....If the situation were reversed (as it is in mine) and your wife did things like Scuba, skydiving etc and you had no interest in it, would it bother you when she does these things? I'm just curious and trying to understand where he's coming from.

If it wasn't something I wasn't interested in but she was, I'd be all for it, at least I think I would (you never know how you'll react to these things until it happens). At this point I wish she'd find something to do I wasn't interested in, that would make up for the 10 hobbies I have that she is not interested in. 3 years until my son can start scuba.....

 

[DeputyDan]

It took me 5 years to get my wife to snorkel in the shallows.

I won't live long enough to get her to dive.......

 

[NudeDiver]

In all seriousness - my wife isn't very fond of water (a tad bit afraid of it) and a bit claustrophobic too - so diving isn't exactly up her alley. I got her to try a Discovery Scuba Diving "course" in Hawaii and said that if she didn't like it, then she didn't like it - and I'd never say another word. So, after a half hour or so of instruction, off we go. There were a number of people on the boat doing their own dives, and I was with them. She had an instructor all to herself, and they went off and did their own thing.

After the first dive, she said she was scared to death and didn't want to go back in for the second dive. I said that was fine - no problem, etc. etc. At some point during the surface interval, she decided all on her own, that she would make the second dive. I asked her if she was sure, told her that she didn't need to do it, etc. - but she wanted to make the second dive.

After the second dive, she had such a smile on her face. She said she was still scared ("I thought I would break the instructor's arm, I was holding on so tight"), but she felt more comfortable and at least had a little fun.

So, at some point, she said she would get certified, but not here - it had to be some place warm. So, two years after those initial DSD dives, we went to Florida - with the primary purpose of getting her certified. She had a 3 day course and made her 4 dives. She said she felt pretty good about it, since now she had some idea of how the equipment works, and wasn't so scared. She also said, all on her own, with no prodding from me, that she could try diving at home (Alaska).

So, about a year after THAT, she signed up for a local advanced open water and drysuit class. She made her 6 dives, and got both certs. She was really miserable though and said she has no interest in diving in cold water anymore. That's fine - she tried it, didn't like it (lots of drysuit frustration) and that was that. She is still interested in diving in warm water though.

So, in a few months, we're going to Cozumel. She is either going to come back really liking diving, or still be rather "so so" about it. We'll see how it goes I guess.

Now, if your wife has done all of this and she just doesn't like diving, period... then that can make dive trips difficult. It's hard to have fun diving if you know your wife is bored on the boat, or if she is off doing whatever in some strange land and you wonder how she is doing, if she is OK, etc. etc. However, it's either that or take separate vacations. In the case of the later, you can still find yourself wondering how she is doing off in some strange land - so you might as well go together and just do different things. It can become a problem if you want to do liveaboards though.

 

[BlueGil]

I'm in the same boat my wife won't even try diving,and I have three sons my oldest is my dive buddy and the other 2 are to young.For our next vacation we're thinking the florida keys also. I've been googling the Keys and I believe the best way to handle this problem is to go to a dive resort that has activities for non-divers aswell. Something like Amy Slate or along those lines. I've never been to the Keys so maybe some other members can give us some good hints where to go?

 

[DiverDurf]

I'm in the same boat my wife won't even try diving,and I have three sons my oldest is my dive buddy and the other 2 are to young.For our next vacation we're thinking the florida keys also. I've been googling the Keys and I believe the best way to handle this problem is to go to a dive resort that has activities for non-divers aswell. Something like Amy Slate or along those lines. I've never been to the Keys so maybe some other members can give us some good hints where to go?

As mentioned earlier in the post, the John Pennekamp State Park sounds like an excellent opportunity for both diver/snorkeler alike. I will be looking into this for my wife next spring/summer. She did in fact get her snorkeling set for Christmas and seems to like the idea, but she is NOT having anything to do with cold water/cold months, or diving...........for now.

 

[Maggy]

I can see that it's not very common that the husband doesn't dive, but here's another one. I booked us a discover scuba course in Turks and Caicos three years ago and while I just loved it, he hated it. So no more diving for him unfortunately.

But he loves to snorkel, so I try to make trips sometimes where they also take snorkelers along (ususally afternoon trips). And then I go on 2-tank morning dives just one or two times per vacation. That means that I won't dive as much as I want, but as long as I can dive a couple of days on a vacation, I'm happy.

Since I don't dive at home, this is only a problem on vacation.

I have also found a friend (a US girl) that is in the same situation as me, with a non diving husband. In April we are going to Cozumel on a dive trip together. It will just be a much longer and more costy trip for me from Europe, but to be able to go on my first dedicated dive trip, I'll say it's worth it.

So for a non diver spouse that loves snorkeling, go on a trip sometimes that also take snorkelers. It's all about compromise and not stopping each other from doing things on their own. And don't dive every day on the vacation.