Ear problems won’t stop

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I am in the same position as you, OP. On my third dive, I dropped down about 5m / 15 ft too quickly by accident (buoyancy control being extremely primitive at that point) and it hurt so bad I started to panic. My ears were full of fluid for 48 hours afterwards, to boot, I guess I just have tiny Eustachian tubes (no wax, the ENT checked). Probably should have expected this, since I've had a couple descents in airplanes that were very, very uncomfortable. Regular valsalva does nothing for me, unfortunately. Sudafed did not help me at all, in fact made things worse because of the increased heartrate.

One thing that helped were Doc's ProPlugs (with a leash), which I now refuse to dive without. They are somewhat risky, especially if one but not the other comes out, which can cause thermal vertigo, a very bad thing. However, they make it so, so much easier to equalize. I can even hear the equalization happening as a little whistle, which really helps. And my ears aren't wet when I get out. Truly a miracle product.

The second was to experiment with different equalization techniques. It turns out that I need to rotate my head so it touches each shoulder, I don't need to grab my nose at all.

Finally, all the ascents and descents in the open water classes are the worst part from an equalization standpoint. If you can get through that, you are good. A typical dive has exactly one descent, your buoyancy control is much better so you can go up just a bit and come down slowly if needed, etc.
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/peregrine/

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