Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[jimmy71]

from instructor - "hardest part about diving in a drysuit is remembering not to pee"


Was eating in a dinner in NYC. It was close to a fetish convention. A couple enters in a latex body suit. The table of teenages next to us are overheard asking "why are they wearing scuba gear?"

 

[masonlc]

From a recent fish ID class...

"Flounder are in the family bothidae, which is easy to remember because...
botha' day eyes is on de same side of day head."

 

[Buoyant1]

From a recent fish ID class...

"Flounder are in the family bothidae, which is easy to remember because...
botha' day eyes is on de same side of day head."

Sounds like you took that class in New Jersey!

(Hey Mason! how's it goin'?!)

 

[banik]

I laughed at this one out loud the hardest. I'd say the teens need to broaden their horizons a little bit...

Was eating in a dinner in NYC. It was close to a fetish convention. A couple enters in a latex body suit. The table of teenages next to us are overheard asking "why are they wearing scuba gear?"

This one tickled my nerdy funny bone the most- it's almost exactly like a joke I'd hear when I was in college.

"Split fins have the unique ability to compress water. That creates a high pressure zone behind the diver and a water vacuum in front of the diver. This constant pressure-push allows you to swim twice as fast."

I have nothing to add yet, but it does help me as a new diver recognize some of the things to watch out for ^^ Just like in all other aspects of life- stupid people!

 

[tfsails]

What happens in your wetsuit, stays in your wetsuit.

Hmmmm...seems to me that what happens in your DRYsuit stays in your drysuit.
Don't wetsuits eventually get flushed out?

 

[Buoyant1]

Hmmmm...seems to me that what happens in your DRYsuit stays in your drysuit.
Don't wetsuits eventually get flushed out?[/QUOTE]

ONLY if you are properly trained on wetsuit flushing!

A few years ago, I was diving off a boat in the Keys, and there was a guy standing on the deck after his dive with a yellow-ish puddle forming at his feet :shocked2:

The DM sent him back in to flush himself before he got back on!

 

[Black Red]

O man! That's gross! Pray, how do you do wetsuit flushing? Any accelerated technique?

 

[MaxBottomtime]

I worked at a dive shop for several years and had to wash a lot of rental wetsuits. I guarantee they do not rinse out during a dive. Many times I would have to drain the bathtub after washing only one suit due to the amount of uriine still in the suit.

 

[emcbride81]

I worked at a dive shop for several years and had to wash a lot of rental wetsuits. I guarantee they do not rinse out during a dive. Many times I would have to drain the bathtub after washing only one suit due to the amount of uriine still in the suit.

I believe it...last year I dove a quarry with a friend who did not own a 7mil. He rented from his LDS and I could smell him from 6 feet away...I can't imagine how his trunk smelled after that!

Back on topic, when I was in Coz the first time, back in 99, I met this lady who was just weird. She was one of those that had no social awareness and was annoying everyone on the boat. She told us that she like to touch the coral and the other organisms to see what they feel like. She said that she had even touched fire coral, knowing what it was!!! I was only on my 7th or 8th dive, but I was glad she was not my buddy!

 

[charlesml3]

Me : (Basically describing the diving operation and reefs in Belize)

Him : "Heck, there ain't nothing for me to see above a Hundred and Ninety feet!"

Me: (Talking about Nitrox and Cocoview's awesome setup for it. Also talking about how it can keep you under your NDL on shallow dives and avoid the bends.)

Him: "Bends? I don't get the bends." (This is the same dingleberry that got his girlfriend bent on her VERY FIRST open water dive.)

Me: (Talking about the relative scarcity of DIN valves in the Carribbean).

Him: "What? DIN valves are way better than yoke. That's all you find in Europe." Yea. A) We're talking about the Carribbean and B) None of us (including you) dive in Europe.

Me: (Talking about diving around the Springs in Florida.)

Him: "There aren't but two of us in the whole state that they'll let dive in (some cave I forget the name of)." Yea. OK man. I guess the scuba police hang out and arrest anyone other that you and that other dude if they try to go in there.

Now here's the real kicker from this. This is ALL from the same guy on the SAME night. This blowhard couldn't even get out of the way of his own feet. I was so annoyed with him after a couple of hours that I just quit participating in the conversation.

-Charles