Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[Dragon Eye]

Ice diving today with three people around the hole waiting for the safety team to be set in full gear bending in the most contorted leg shapes possible keeping the hole free and trying to stay warm and out of the water.

"They should have a Scuba Diver's Drysuit Yoga Class"

 

[hbhobby]

once I met an "expert" who found out I was a diver. he proceeded to tell me about diving off the west coast one time in 23 degree water and the caught some lobsters and when they got them back on the boat one of them got lose and cut the fule line with his pincher and they were stranded for several hours waiting for help!!!

I would like to see how that is possible!!! never trust an "expert"!!!

 

[=C=]

once I met an "expert" who found out I was a diver. he proceeded to tell me about diving off the west coast one time in 23 degree water and the caught some lobsters and when they got them back on the boat one of them got lose and cut the fule line with his pincher and they were stranded for several hours waiting for help!!!

I would like to see how that is possible!!! never trust an "expert"!!!

IHMO "experts" and the internet are two of the most frustrating and dangerous things about diving today...

 

[jimmy71]

Saw something i had not seen before. A guy came out of the bathroom after taking a long time. He finally comes out and I note he was apparently trying on a rental wetsuit. He has on a one piece wetsuit. I am intrigued to see that the wetsuit has a large zipper on the front. I am surprised as i have never seen this style before. As he awkwardly walks by i notice the knee pads on the back of his legs........ I then inform him he has it on backwards. I will say i kept a straight face when i said it.

I was not really concerned as i knew students were coming on the trip. I promptly found out that him and his friends were just renting gear and taking there own boat out on the lake. They also asked for the GPS cords of a 140' dive site. Scary.

Love to bringing this thread back..

 

[bowlofpetunias]

me too :lol:

I don't find internet divers scary.. just like everywhere else.. there is a lot of wheat with the chaff... what I find scary are the ones who don't know how to sort it out and accept anything they are told.

New divers can run into "scary experts" and great helpful and knowledgeable divers at the dive sites, dive shops and on the internet!

 

[Scuba.com]

Not really a quote here... but humorous statement/question none the less. One especially rainy and stormy day when I lived in Tacoma in the 80's I received a phone call from my mom just as I was getting set to go catch the slack tide and make a dive. I gave her a few polite minutes of my attention and then told her I had to go as I was meeting some friends for a dive.

To this day I remember the shocked tone in her voice when she asked me, "You're going scuba diving in this weather? Won't you GET WET?"

Then silence as she immediately realized what she said.

 

[stingray70]

I was diving at an adults only resort in the Mexican Caribbean. One day, a guy with a new camera, the divemaster and I were the only divers. While we were down, this guy was all over the place, breaking profile, wandering off etc, in search of the perfect picture. I could tell the DM was getting pretting disgusted with this guy's inattention to safety, as well as ignoring the frequent "Come up," "Come here," "QFA" signals from the DM. When we got topside, the DM explained to him that it was very important for him to stay with the profile and pay attention to the DM's instructions. After the DM walked off, the guy turned to me and said, "I paid enough to be at this resort. I figure it's their job to take care of me on the dive." Fortunately, that was also his last dive.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

we will have to watch for this guy in the accidents and incidents forum

 

[octopuppy]

From non-diver friend - "Doesn't it smell like fish underwater?" :amazed:

 

[Deefstes]

Saw something i had not seen before. A guy came out of the bathroom after taking a long time. He finally comes out and I note he was apparently trying on a rental wetsuit. He has on a one piece wetsuit. I am intrigued to see that the wetsuit has a large zipper on the front. I am surprised as i have never seen this style before. As he awkwardly walks by i notice the knee pads on the back of his legs........ I then inform him he has it on backwards. I will say i kept a straight face when i said it.

I was not really concerned as i knew students were coming on the trip. I promptly found out that him and his friends were just renting gear and taking there own boat out on the lake. They also asked for the GPS cords of a 140' dive site. Scary.

I just saw a seasoned diver again the other day donning a borrowed wetsuit the wrong way round. These things happen. It's funny alright, but I fail to see how that mistake precludes someone from doing a 140' dive. What I find obnoxious though is for someone with 50-99 dives logged to decide what is safe and what is not safe for others divers to do, based on how they don a rental wetsuit.