Funny diving stories for the book I should write....

[in too deep]

During an advanced open water weekend of camping and diving, one of the DM's had set up a dive flag early in the morning before most people were up. Keep in mind this is in Canada, from my tent I hear an approaching boat, fairly quick, the motor quiets and I hear one guy saying loudly "it doesn't look like a Canadian flag".

 

[Diver0001]

Near the top of my list must be my mate "M". We made an appointment to do a dive at significant depth that incurred a significant deco obligation so of course there is some expectation that one would be on their game.

Everything (planning) was worked out over email ahead of time and we get to the site, give each other a big man hug and joke around while spending 1/2 hour getting kitted up and going through some last minute details.

So there I am standing in knee deep water waiting for "M" to join me after closing up his car etc. and he walks over to me and stands next to me.. very still... says nothing.

I look at him inquisitively and he says, "I don't know how to tell you this, but I forgot my fins".

R..

---------- Post added January 22nd, 2013 at 02:12 PM ----------

During an advanced open water weekend of camping and diving, one of the DM's had set up a dive flag early in the morning before most people were up. Keep in mind this is in Canada, from my tent I hear an approaching boat, fairly quick, the motor quiets and I hear one guy saying loudly "it doesn't look like a Canadian flag".

I learned to dive in Canada and my dive instructor told us that the best place to set up a dive flag was 500m away from where you would be diving so all the boats would be over there checking it out and you would be safe.

R..

 

[xyrandomyx]

...

4. on an 'away' trip to the Maldives a couple of divers were constantly at 15m to 20m depth while the rest were usually 5m to 10m deeper. when asked why: 'we wanted to save air so that we can dive longer'
Q: did you see the school of eagle rays at 45 or so?
A: yeah, lots of black dots! really nice!

...

That's why I got into diving. I just can't get enough of watching black dots.

 

[Diver0001]

Ok, since I'm on a roll I'll give you another one.

I'm in the Vancouver area crabbing with my friends Bruno and Bill.

Bruno is a highly experienced diver and the best crabber of all of us. Bill is new to diving but highly enthusiastic and motivated to learn.

I had a rolled up goodie bag stuffed awkwardly (as it turned out) behind me left hand side. Bruno was the resident expert who would decide which crabs to keep and which to let go and Bill was along for the learning experience.

So Bruno gets a crab and hands it to me to put in the bag... but I suddenly realize I can't reach the bag.... so I ask Bill, signing as best I could with a stressed out 8 inch crab in my hand to get the bag out for me.... he nods, "OK" ...

... and then grabs on to the integrated weight pocket and deploys it. I breathe out until my lungs are empty. Bill turns to Bruno with the weight sack in his hand and cocks his head like "what the heck am I supposed to do with THIS", Bruno slaps his forehead with the palm of his hand and his mask fills up with water because he lost it and is laughing hysterically and I grab Bill's 1st stage and am hanging there with empty lungs waiting for the coin to fall.

After a few seconds Bill "got it" and we reversed the situation but it was really REALLY funny.

R..

 

[old gaffer]

My first ocean dive was while on a cruise ship stop in Cozumel eight years ago. A gal on the boat had put her wetsuit on inside out so when she tried to get it off she got it unzipped as far as the small of her back and the zipper would not go any further. I tried to push on the top of the zipper but it would not budge. The only way I could have got it to go further would have been to reach inside and unzip it and I was not gonna do that. She tried to force it over her hips with it partially zipped and almost fell over when the boat hit some waves. So being the gentleman that I am I told her to hang on to something then I knelt in front of here and gave the wetsuit a pull and down it came to her knees along with her bikini bottoms! I was extremely embarrassed! She was a good sport about it though!Tom

 

[mstevens]

I suppose the time Sandro Quijada rolled off the boat, then immediately resurfaced to swap out his sunglasses for a dive mask might count...

 

[jmb]

4 of us were new divers in a quarry, and we watched one of our buddies slowly let his air our out and begin to descend. Pretty soon there was an explosion of bubbles while we were trying not to laugh as we'd all taken our turn making small mistakes as we practiced our skills. He quickly turned his back to us under the water as he surfaced - thinking we would never know he had used his snorkel instead of the regulator. Being the only guy with 3 women, he took a lot of kidding that day !

 

[koozemani]

I wonder if the person with the near death fitting room incident will post his story?

 

[Christi]

These are GREAT!!! I will share some others when I am back in the office this afternoon!!! Right now it's time for a bike ride while I have the chance 😁

 

[cliavn]

This just made my day .

There was once when my sister, 12 years old at the time, was doing her PADI Rescue Diver test. Being used to wearing integrated weights, she took off the instructors BCD without taking off his weights... It was interesting to say the least...

I was doing the PADI Rescue Diver test with my dad and we had to do a search pattern to find a "lost and unconscious" diver, our instructor. After about 5 minuets, we found him. As we swam to "rescue" him a large group of around 12 swam by and stopped (must have been doing their OW test). We almost took the wrong person up...