It's only as hard as you make it. If you plan a dive in conditions that you know will not exceed your capabilities, you don't need any "extra" physical capabilities.
This is a sound plan, because nothing in the ocean or a large lake ever changes..... ;-)
Rich, I will defer to your knowledge of spinal injuries as it sounds like you unfortunately live with one. And as I said earlier, I don't (obviously) know anything about the OPs condition, so I am really speaking in generalities...
While not exactly a "wounded warrior", my main dive buddy, a guy I have been diving with for 35 years and with whom I have logged literally thousands of dives, had the misfortune of cutting off his hand when he was 17 years old. He's a tremendously comfortable diver, but there are many little things he can't do. Within reason, "we" (his buddies) do whatever we can to help him... I do up his harness, I attach his inflators, I strap his gauges on, help with his mask, and when he's finished, I literally haul is a$$ out of the water into my boat. I am very much aware that a diver with "limitations" can dive...
However, on one dive in lake Erie a few years ago (and we dive solo a lot) he and I were diving on a 180' deep wreck. I was in the boat, while he dove. (We were about 35 miles off shore, so wanted to have a tender in the boat). I noticed his bubbles didn't move around, but their frequency was normal). I was mostly suited up, and at the first sign that he was overdue, I'd have gone in after him. However, he started to ascend ahead of time. When he surfaced, he was holding his weight-belt in his hand. It had slipped off (not come undone... he's a larger dude, so not much waist) and he'd spent the entire dive with the thing around his ankles, trying to wrestle it back up. He finally gave up, and surfaced. A lesser diver might well have panicked and died...
My only point is that there are probably very few physical limitations that absolutely preclude someone's ability to dive, most of the time. But when things go wrong (and if you dive enough, sooner or later they will...) that "limitation" may very well have disastrous consequences.
This thread has sort of wondered from the original topic (imagine that), and has become more about diving with what... a "handicap" or at least a physical limitation. I agree that when everything goes according to plan, there is no reason why literally anyone can dive. But there will be times... and Rich, you have done a whack of diving, and if it's where I presume it is, you have to agree that conditions can and do change, and someone who has a "limitation" might end up in a situation that they didn't plan for. I think someone with some physical limitation needs to plan very conservative dives, and be prepared to call a dive when conditions aren't suitable. (My five-fingered friend will NOT dive in the St. Lawrence for example. The currents are too strong and he can't competently pull himself down the anchor line.)
Anyway, once again to the OP, I am not in any way saying don't dive. I am saying that "odds are" (deferring to the more knowledgeable Rich) a modest weight training, and a flexibility regiment will probably help her...
On the original question... in spite of being taken as a jerk here (I'm not, but I've seen a of people die diving over the years) I think it's quite reasonable to ask for help with your gear. But if you expect someone else to schlep your stuff, then you should take whatever steps you can to maintain your strength..
---------- Post added August 27th, 2014 at 11:34 PM ----------
My point is that I see no difference between them wanting to do this only in how they came to the same basic place. She was just asking for advice on how to do it right and she is told to quit and learn to play bridge! What is wrong with you people?
I suspect that the wife of the guy with the bad heart that died up here a couple of weeks ago wishes that someone had said... get fit, then dive.
As much as we all love diving, there comes a point where we all need to give it up. (And I'm not suggesting the OP should quit... only that she should make sure she takes whatever steps she can to maintain her strength and flexibility. If she is doing that, that's grand and she shouldn't hesitate to ask for a little help from the crew. On the other hand, if someone chooses not to look after themselves, but rather they expect the crew to do the grunt work, then perhaps they should reconsider....
Anyway, this is going in circles.