How do I get my fiancee interested in scuba??... help!!

[pedo]

Your biggest problem may be that she will try it, like it and then you'll never get out on your own!
hahahahaha

 

[Sas]

dear all

I have been an avid Scuba enthusiast for many years. I am now engaged to be married in April to a lovely woman and love of my life. She, however, does not have any interest to try scuba diving at all. In the past years that we have known each other, I have always gone diving on my own. And even though this in itself is not a problem per say, im sure you can imagine that there is nothing more that I would love to share with her.

She has met many of my dive buddies, some which are fantastic instructors. She has indicated that the thought of scuba just does not appeal to her. She is a very athletic person that loves the outdoors... but no scuba???

I was wondering if there are any others that have been in this situation with their wife/partner that possibly have found a way to introduce scuba to her in an inviting way... or do I just need to accept this as the way its going to be?? *sigh*

any help would be greatly appreciated!

thanks
Adi

Tell her that she has to try it at least once (as long as it is just lack of interest rather than trepidation, if she's scared don't push it). And that if she is not interested then you'll never ask her to try it again.

Anyway, that's what I have done with my partner. Though at the time he said "I promise to try it in the next five years" and it is now been nearly two years and he hasn't tried it yet We do stuff like this to each other for various things. I had to try coffee at least once though he keeps trying to trick me into drinking it even though when I tried it I hated it! So far the only hobbies we've managed to transfer to each other out of many we've tried is that he got me liking multiplayer computer games and I got him to like travelling...

To be honest if he did get into it (highly unlikely) I'm not sure if that would be a blessing or a curse. I think having seperate lives is important to a lot of people's relationships and keeping them interesting.

 

[lavachickie]

Mention, lightly, how awesome diving is to you, and how amazing you think it would be to share that with her. Let her know that if she EVER has an interest -- whether it's a question about gear, or a desire to try out a pool class, or whatever -- that you'll be thrilled and support her however you can.

AND that even if she wants nothing of it, you'll still love and support her in her endeavors, as you know she will love and support you in pursuing the endeavors that bring you great joy.

And then leave it at that. Don't push. Show her all the wonderful pictures and videos, go snorkeling whenever you can together if she is into that and include her with "the dive club" as much as you can. If she has any real interest, it'll come out.

And if not... so be it.

I believe that one reason relationships stay healthy and fresh is when two people remain independent beings who continually bring new things back to the relationship. This might be one area where you won't share it first hand, but your experiences and happiness at pursuing them will give you great things to share with her afterward.

 

[idocsteve]

I was wondering if there are any others that have been in this situation with their wife/partner that possibly have found a way to introduce scuba to her in an inviting way... or do I just need to accept this as the way its going to be?? *sigh*

any help would be greatly appreciated!

thanks
Adi

I got a divorce

My girlfriend likes Scuba and we're planning several trips together.

Before you dismiss my advice..think about it.

Life is short

 

[msg]

My wife has no interest in diving, I wished that she did though. At this point I just don't even suggest it anymore.

DON'T push it.

 

[Papa_Bear]

If the fire is not in the belly of the best it will never happen! Diving is an individual activity and I have never seen anyone "Do it for someone else" that worked out! So you have to decide how important it is for both of you to do the same thing? Or maker her learn and take her to the GBR where the most you will get is 5 years! Buy the insurance long before you go, that way the next time you can afford to go on dive trips and meet a diver!

 

[sglake]

Same situation here.I dive my kids dive but my wife has absolutely no desire to try it at all. She doesn't mind though if when we are on vacation I want to get in a dive or 2.

 

[BTravlin]

You're going about this all wrong. You've tried persuasion and that has obviously failed so now it's time to move on to bribery. See if she'll give it a try in exchange for a pair of designer shoes or some jewelry or whatever her particular hot button is. Could be a little expensive but worth it. My wife and I learned together and now every trip revolves around diving. Just remember you don't turn over the goods until the dive is completed.

 

[scuga]

I'm in the same predicament with my wife. She is not a water person at all. Anyway, like others have said I think the best thing you can do is say up front "I would love to share scuba diving with you." then never mention it ever again.

If she comes around then it's a win and if she doesn't then it's a win because you can have something that is your own thing which is nice to have in a healthy marriage.

 

[idocsteve]

You're going about this all wrong. You've tried persuasion and that has obviously failed so now it's time to move on to bribery.

Bribery isn't going to do it.

I suggest moving on to "threatened implied infidelity".

Such as "There's this really cute blonde chick that recently started coming around the dive shop. I was helping her out of her wetsuit after a pool session and I happened to notice that she's got a body that would stop a freighter. She's going to be joining us on a group trip to the Caribbean next month. I'd ask you to come along, honey, but it's for DIVERS ONLY". Make sure you notify the dive shop owner that your wife might be calling to inquire about the group trip qualifications and to inform her of the next scheduled OW class.