I f*** up and I am ashamed

[Dody]

On flights they tell you to secure your mask before trying to help the person next to you - even if it's a child. You can't help your wife if you aren't first able to help yourself. I agree with @drrich2

It seems the added anxiety made you hold more air in your lungs, hence drift upward in the water column. Adding the extra 2 kg seems like a good move to me.

If you did exactly the same thing you did, after 300 dives, then I'd be agreeing that you made a bad decision. You're still new. Yes, you made the mistake of going into a cave in a "trust me" situation - but I feel that's on the DM more than you. You may have thought there was a light around the corner from where you entered. How in the world would you know? The DM was irresponsible and should get some heat for that.

When my husband and I are diving in a group that is getting ready to go into a swim through, even if we're not close to one another, we will make eye contact and signal whether we're doing the swim through or not. You and your wife will get to that point - hopefully, this will help you get there faster.

Btw, what does your wife think of what happened?

Oblivious. She enjoyed the whole thing. She said that she knew that I was good enough to help myself (there was no way she could have known about the ceiling incident) and as long as she was with the Guide, she was ok. She did not realize how bad I was. She does not know how much I love her.

 

[Dody]

I was thinking that as well. Or stick your feet up there and push off with your legs. At 1 or 2 kg underweight you will get enough separation that you can kick away.

Dody, spend some time doing what pilots call unusual attitude training. Dive on your back, head up, feet up, right and left side up. Try some rolls, including holding it while kicking every 45 or 90 degrees. Once you are comfortable with this and are sure your gear is well secured, you can work up to Immelmanns, inside and outside loops and barrel rolls.

I do some of this on every dive. It's fun, you'll find out if your reg has any wet breathing issues (and how to deal with it) and it will help you be a lot more comfortable if you face a situation where you have to be in a non-standard position. And it's fun. Which is kind of the point.

I will try that . But I was face down not face up. In fact, I was Ok until I realized that going down was difficult.

 

[lowwall]

I will try that . But I was face down not face up. In fact, I was Ok until I realized that going down was difficult.

Roll over and crawl out.

 

[Steelyeyes]

Since the first day I started diving, I have always said that no one but me would be responsible for my safety. I stuck to that rule even when my wife who loves playing the mermaid buddy is going too far.
I dive with 4kg of lead. I struggle a bit to go down but once I reach 2m with a full tank, it is fine. I hold my 5 m safety stop at the end of the dive with no issue however if I reach 2 meters at the end of the dive, I will surface and will not be able to go down after. Some tell me that I should dive with 5 kg but I refuse.
Yesterday, my wife and I went to a boat dive with a DM. At the end of the dive, we went into a big cave with no visibility. The briefing did not mention this cave. The DM entered, my wife entered. I was at the back and I followed even though I would not have if my wife was not in front of me. I could not see anything, could not see my DC because of the poor vis and did not see my wife. Then, I realized that I was moving up. Purging air did not do anything and I ended up stuck at the cave ceiling at 2m (I checked my DC later) with my head knocking on rocks.
Summary: I am stuck at a cave ceiling with 0 visibility, so shallow that I can't go down and I have lost sight of my wife and the DM.
To make a long story short, I used all my strength (Exhaling, down kicks and arms) to go down, in an upside down position and swallowing sea water ( I understood what wet breathing means) and went for the cave exit light. One minute afterwards, I was at the surface on my own. Ashamed becaused I did not know where my wife was. 5 minutes later, she surfaced with the DM. They had looked for me before surfacing.
I am ashamed. I should not have entered this cave. I should not have let my wife enter this cave. At the end, I was a crap buddy.

Add the extra weight. You should be able to control your position in the water from the very beginning of the dive until the last dregs of gas are out of your tank. Unexpected ascents are bad ju ju.

 

[SlugLife]

I used the dump valves, front and back not the LPI. No air was coming out. I was horizontal maybe feet slightly down. I would like to think that I did not panic. I did not really but I was totally in the dark. Stuck in the ceiling. Alone. Venting did not work. All that I could think of was to go down and find the way out. When I managed to go down ( 1,2,5 meters, I don't know), I saw the light out and I went for it, my mouth full of salt water. I will get rid of my Calypso regulator and get a better one .

I strongly suspect that you still had air in your BCD.

This is a very common problem, that I've experienced myself, where I've pulled all dump valves, rotated, etc and thought there's no way there's any more air. The way I discovered I was wrong, was I removed "all air" then removed my BCD underwater, rotated my BCD around, and noticed there were still trapped air-pockets. I started carrying just a little more weight after that, which helped significantly, because sometimes getting that last **** air pocket out is impossible.

I understand exactly why you think "I can't possibly have more air in my BCD" when you do. It's just the nature of BCDs & especially back-mount, that you should just assume there's air-trapping going on. You aren't necessarily even doing anything "wrong" if you're experiencing the problem of air-trapping. Be open-minded to the idea that this is possible, and you may very well discover it is happening.

Less commonly, you can also experience air-trapping in other areas like pouches/pockets and wetsuits.

My question as well but it appears he's got it figured out now!

I love you DrRich2! Yeah, learning the right terminology is important.

Another great point!

Meh. Your tidal volume is far, far greater than 2 pounds. You should be able to exhale and sink anywhere in the water column. I'm guessing he has a fairly thick wet suit for this to really be a problem. For me (no wetsuit or 3 mil), perfect weighting is at the start of the dive, with normally full lungs, feet crossed, hands crossed, empty BC and the top of my head is just awash. When I exhale, I start a gentle descent.

His wife did fine. Why bring her up? If you have to be that close and controlling, get romantic and hold her hand through the dive.

When you're in a panic, the tendency is to fill your lungs with even MORE air, making you even lighter in the water column. Relaxing is a huge skill that many seem to lack. Close your eyes, take a really, really deep breath, and slowly exhale till you can't exhale any further, and then exhale some more. We all naturally pause our breathing when our lungs are full. Learn to pause while they are empty.

My second rule of diving is the "rule of fun"... You can call a dive at any time, for any reason, no questions asked! IOW, if you're not having fun, stop and figure it out before you continue.

Stress is the antithesis of fun. Stress is also the anthesis of trust. You don't seem to be able to trust your wife to make the same decisions you would make. That might not be a failing on her part but yours. Overly protective spouses are often a cold blanket for fun. Relax. You did a swim through, panicked, and floated to the ceiling. Save for running out of air, there's not much that happens underwater that you can't handle... if it weren't for stress. That's the real killer here. It robs your brain of its ability to think logically. You're on the ceiling? Cool. Flop on your back and crawl out. If you always think that you're one breath away from perishing, then diving can't be any fun, so learn to relax. If you always think that your wife is one breath away from perishing, then diving with her can't be any fun either. Learn to trust her diving instincts as well.

Here's another thought... rather than avoid swim-throughs because you're skeered, go take a cavern course WITH your wife. We have a number of excellent instructors here in Cave Country who will help both of you accomplish the following...

Perfect buoyancy
Perfect trim
Great kicking techniques
Situational awareness
Communication skills
Buddy skills
Be able to look at an overhead environment and tell if it's a real problem
Trust
Confidence
and, much, much more...​

It's a great "couples therapy" for those who don't trust their Significant Other. On top of that, it's fun and challenging. I actually recommend Cavern to all my OW and AOW students because you'll finally learn to zen rather than stress during the dive. Hey, you might even find a new way to enjoy diving! Everything you learn in a Cavern class can be used in OW. The converse is not true. You won't be setting the bar higher, as much as more neutral.

Sorry this was so long.

I love the "rule of fun" and follow something very similar.

• During a "fun dive", I'll practice no more than 1-2 "new" skills. I'll also abandon that practicing if it gets in the way.
• I do periodic "practice dives," which are low-stress, minimal-depth dives for practicing skills. I'm not in a rush, air-consumption is not an issue, the surface is maybe 20ft away, and nobody is waiting for me. I still try to remain within the realm of fun, there's nobody to impress, and if something is just not working, I'll work on another skill instead.
• I also recently bought an inexpensive underwater action-camera, so I could record myself. That way if I'm just failing at a skill, I can just get a recording, move on to something else, and then review the footage later.

 

[Dody]

Right. Even with a guide, there should have been a pre-dive briefing which absolutely should have included info and procedures about the cavern.

If your DM didn't do this you have two valid complaints about his conduct. An improper briefing and failure to get the group together and get an OK from everyone before entering the cavern.

But this is also an example of why you can't throw your judgement out the window just because you are on a guided dive. Not to be too snarky, but the OP is DM certified (see Don't know what happened). Would you want him to be leading a group through conditions they found challenging?

I made perfectly clear that I don't dive overhead environment.

 

[Dody]

I made perfectly clear that I don't dive overhead environment.

But diving underweighted is a big mistake that I was never warned of.

 

[boulderjohn]

But diving underweighted is a big mistake that I was never warned of.

I am having trouble understanding this. Perhaps we are not all using the same definitions for key words.

There are three possible conditions:

1. underweighted
2. perfectly weighted for neutral buoyancy
3. overweighted

As I define "underweighted," you cannot dive underweighted because you either cannot get below the surface to begin with or you will ascend out of control later in the dive when you have lost some weight through air usage. No one can possibly suggest that it is good to dive underweighted.

I suspect that what you mean by "underweighted" is as close to perfectly weighted as possible, thus avoiding being overweighted. In that case, I can see that you might believe that. Many people do believe that, including many people who are quick to respond to questions like this on ScubaBoard.

Personally, I like being a few pounds--maybe 2 kilos-- overweighted (more than the amount needed for perfect neutral buoyancy). It allows me to descend faster than when perfectly weighted, and if I need to dump some air, it makes it every so much easier, because I can get the bubble of air to an exit point more easily. If you only have a tiny amount of air in your BCD, you may have to do some sort of gymnastics maneuver to get that tiny bubble to a dump area.

That is what I assume happened to you on the ceiling of that overhead. You still had a little bit of air in the BCD, but it was not at a dump valve, and you were unable to get it to a dump valve. I will expand on this in my next post.

 

[Dody]

I made perfectly clear that I don't dive overhead environment. I am the first to acknowledge that I was not prepared for this

 

[Swedinsidemount]

I don't dive "perfectly" weighted, and you can't because conditions are always changing, you tank is becoming lighter, your breathing will change the harder you work... i carry 2-6lbs extra depending on cylinder and suit <TG>