Most dive shops will sell a detergent for wetsuits (sink-the-stink is what my shop sells, but there are other names) and they really do work great! Just soak your wetsuit in the tub with that for an hour or so, and it should do the trick.
Or, if you can't find anything like that, look for "simple-green". It is a non-toxic disinfectant and deoderizor than won't hurt the water if some is left in your suit. You may also try simply washing it (cold water, gentle cycle) I've done this, and it didn't hurt my suit at all. Maybe Febreeze for laundry would work too...its also non-toxic.
As for drying, the best think I can recommend is getting a wetsuit hanger, and build a STRONG bar over your bathtub! The hanger has very wide "shoulders" which helps seperate the fabric so it dries evenly. I personally prefer putting on a damp wetsuit (course, I live in the tropics, so cold is not my biggest concern) but it is much easier to get on that way!