If your significant other doesn't want to learn to dive DON'T Pressure them!!!

[Ann Marie]

My husband doesn't dive and doesn't have any desire to learn. Do I pressure him?? No! He does his thing, I do mine and we meet for dinner and share what a great day we've had! When we go on vacation, we'll do a snorkeling trip together.

As an Instructor I cringe every time I hear someone say that they want to learn to dive because their significant other wants them to. The majority of the time the student doesn't really have the true desire to dive but to make their 'other' happy and to spend time together.

The majority of these students don't enjoy or have a positive experience taking a course. Yes, there are some that do find they have a great time but those aren't the norm.

Just because we enjoy and are passionate about something doesn't mean that everyone will be.

If your S.O. is unsure let them try a Discover SCUBA Diving Experience first to see if it is something they might be interested in before signing them up for a SCUBA course.

Please don't put pressure on a LOVED ONE to do something that they don't want to do!

 

[robint]

yes, very true. I see it waaaay too often - family members insisting that everyone get certified, when it is only an interest of one or two members. Parents are absolutely the worst! I have seen way too many kids, getting forced to get certified by parents, the kids just want to please the parents, and the instructor is caught in the middle.

on the other hand, I signed myself and my husband up for OW certification classes without telling him about it. I knew he would love it and be thrilled. He was, and now he is an instructor. I know my SO.


robin
2 months until the Nekton Bahamas again!!

 

[Papa_Bear]

Diving is a personal choice and no one should pressure anyone to dive! Many people have hobbies that don't involve there spouses or friends! You can't force someone to ride a Harley or down SCUBA gear for whatever reason! They have to want to for themselves and some can't for physical reasons! So it depends on relationship skills, how much does your activity mean to you, and how can you integrate Diving into common activities! Vacation where one golfs in the morning while the other dives? If you want something bad enough you can figure a way!

I have bee married 36 years and have been certified the same, my wife wanted to, but Sinuses wont let her go beyond a snorkel! So great minds have to compromise along life's bumpy road!

 

[sglake]

I had wanted my wife to certify some time after my daughter and I did but she wasn't interested ,nor was my son. We do our own things on days I want to dive and it isn't a problem at all. When my daughter left for college I thought I had lost my regular dive buddy. One day out of the blue my son comes up and says he would like to learn , now I have a new buddy.

 

[Teamcasa]

...
If your S.O. is unsure let them try a Discover SCUBA Diving Experience first to see if it is something they might be interested in before signing them up for a SCUBA course.

Please don't put pressure on a LOVED ONE to do something that they don't want to do!

That worked for me. My lovely bride wanted nothing to do with the beach/ocean for 29 of our 32 years of marriage. On a trip to Kona, she decided to give SNUBA a try and she has never looked back. Now an AOW diver, she will pass 50+ dives next weekend during the Avalon harbor cleanup. Life is grand.

 

[24940]

As an Instructor I cringe every time I hear someone say that they want to learn to dive because their significant other wants them to.

Ain't it the truth?

First night, I ask all my students why they are taking the class. If there are couples, I will tell the story about my wife and I. I certified in 78' and recertified when my wife did OW a few years ago. Fortunately for our marriage, I have a keen sense of the obvious and realized a bad situation when I was in it. She still dives, but usually not with me and I'm okay with that.

I've seen some rather ugly words exchanged and several splits as a result of one spouse pushing another. It's a passion for some of us, but not for others. I don't know what is wrong with them.

 

[TSandM]

On the other hand, I only got certified as a gesture of atonement for having spent way too much money on an Australian vacation trip at an auction. I wasn't at all sure I really wanted to dive (and was much less sure after the first couple of pool sessions) let alone EVER dive in Puget Sound.

That was almost 500 dives ago. I had no way of knowing that this would become a passion!

So it probably isn't a good idea to pressure somebody who says they really don't want to dive, but it may not always be bad to put a little pressure on somebody who isn't SURE.

 

[Desert_Diver]

On the other hand- my daughter got certified and was horrified at the cost of dive gear and dive trips. She pressured me into certifying on the theory that I would take her on trips.

I loved it. I still dive. She started having kids and quit diving. And it irks her no end that I send her pics from all of my dives.

I love karma.

Art

 

[Gombessa]

As the OP suggested, this is especially true for spouses/SO's. Diving was WAY too involved (and yes, dangerous) to push on someone who really doesn't want to be there. There's a huge difference between suggesting that an SO try it, especially if they have an open mind, and continuing to suggest they try it even after they've expressed disinterest.

 

[DeepBound]

I was pressured into learning to dive and did it just for someone else but I ended up liking it so much.