ScubaBaby
Contributor
As if you need proof that the human race is doomed
because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping
(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how???....)
On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
Do not turn upside down.
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
on Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping
(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how???....)
On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
Do not turn upside down.
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
on Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
.
