LGBTQ Divers?

[Sas]

A great lover isn't one who can make love to a thousand different women, a great lover can make love to the same women a thousand different ways.

You need to spice things up!

They're not mutually exclusive concepts.

 

[freewillie]

They're not mutually exclusive concepts.

Technically in a monogamous relationship it is exclusive.

I'm not going to play moralist, but not being mutually exclusive in a monogamous relationship implies one or both are cheating.

An open swinging relationship may work for consenting adults, but IMO does not fall under the category of monogamous.

 

[DiverBeth]

While it's great that so many of you heterosexuals seem to be open minded I think that is wonderful. However, that is not the way everyone feels. The problem is not when we're under the water but on the surface. There are still states where our local dive club can kick us out and we have no recourse. So what you say who who would want to dive with those idiots anyway? That may be true but it could be difficult than getting charters on local dive boats etc.

As I posted earlier, heterosexuals advertise their sexuality all the time. Talking about your wife or boyfriend is telling everyone you're straight. You just don't realize it. In the dive groups I belong to some people know I'm a lesbian others don't because it's never come up and I don't have a girlfriend right now. If I did I would be open about it. I'm lucky because I've been in most of these groups long enough that if someone had a problem with me they would probably wind up leaving the group before I would feel unwelcome.

Many of the dive groups I'm in have social activities in addition to our diving. I want everyone to feel welcome and comfortable. There are some LGBTQ people who are not comfortable being with their boyfriend/girlfriend just being anywhere. Also, this really hasn't come up but how many of you would feel comfortable around a diver who's obviously transgender?

 

[Jax]

Psssst. Sas said the concepts are not mutually exclusive . . . .

 

[ccx2]

DiverBeth, talking about your wife or boyfriend is not advertising your hetrosexual, its just talking about your wife or boyfriend, and i think most heterosexuals think that way . I think you and many others are uncomphortable with your sexual preferance and it makes you uneasy and always thinking about it,even one a dive boat or a dive forum, you just cant let it go, your always trying to change someone's perception of being gay or how they should react to your being gay. Have a great dive next time you get under.

 

[jmasin]

While it's great that so many of you heterosexuals seem to be open minded I think that is wonderful. However, that is not the way everyone feels. The problem is not when we're under the water but on the surface. There are still states where our local dive club can kick us out and we have no recourse. So what you say who who would want to dive with those idiots anyway? That may be true but it could be difficult than getting charters on local dive boats etc.

Well, if this is true and they are kicking you out that is unlawful, but of course running to court for such an issue isn't always logical recourse. In this case I fully support formation of a club which WELCOMES divers of all sexual affiliations...

As I posted earlier, heterosexuals advertise their sexuality all the time. Talking about your wife or boyfriend is telling everyone you're straight. You just don't realize it.

That's a difficult characterization to counter, which of course you know which is why you point it out. But I seriously doubt any heterosexual people speak of their sig. others as a way to advertise their heterosexuality, it is just speaking about loved ones.

So we're now in a Catch-22...

Evolution of people's attitudes is a balancing game, and just as one side must learn to accept, the other must learn to put it out there, and unfortunately deal with some discomfort. In a perfect world, no, but we don't live in such a world. But, as you say if you're getting kicked out of clubs for being who you are, and then result is your ability to enjoy diving etc. becomes limited because of difficulty getting charters etc., then yes, I understand why you may feel the desire for a club. But you must realize that a separate club does have the unintended effect of self-segregation in a situation where integration and acceptance are apparently the goal.

I think both "sides" (for lack of a better phrase) need to try and understand the other's view. I think sometimes one side or the other forgets that point.

Anyway, all that said, if you or anyone else is at the same dive op as me, and you get kicked off a boat for who you are, you're welcome on mine.

Also, this really hasn't come up but how many of you would feel comfortable around a diver who's obviously transgender?

I can honestly say I don't give a hoot... and might have a few questions over lunch

Cheers.

 

[wrybosome]

But I seriously doubt any heterosexual people speak of their sig. others as a way to advertise their heterosexuality, it is just speaking about loved ones

I think this point has been miunderstood by swveral posters now. By advertising it isn't meant that the straight person is doing so intentionally, but is just incidentally confirming the default assumption that they are straight when they talk about their SO.

When a gay person talks about their SO otoh they are violating the default assumption that people are making about them and have to consider how this group of people is going to see or treat them differently. It's not an experience that straight people get.

In the context of an LGBT dive outing it would be an annoyance that never came up.

 

[jmasin]

I think this point has been miunderstood by swveral posters now. By advertising it isn't meant that the straight person is doing so intentionally, but is just incidentally confirming the default assumption that they are straight when they talk about their SO.

True... I should probably have chosen "overtly" instead of "intentionally".

 

[BennyM]

I saw a T-Shirt the other day and it said: "Shut up and Dive!!"

 

[DiverBeth]

DiverBeth, talking about your wife or boyfriend is not advertising your hetrosexual, its just talking about your wife or boyfriend, and i think most heterosexuals think that way . I think you and many others are uncomphortable with your sexual preferance and it makes you uneasy and always thinking about it,even one a dive boat or a dive forum, you just cant let it go, your always trying to change someone's perception of being gay or how they should react to your being gay. Have a great dive next time you get under.

See that's the problem because you're in the majority you do not understand or evidently care to understand what it's like to be in the shoes of the minority. If I refer to my wife I'm throwing my sexuality into your face, a man refers to his wife and it's just talking about his wife. It shouldn't matter if your significant other is of the same or opposite sex but it does all too often.

And another thing it's an orientation not a preference. I didn't choose who I'm sexually attracted to though I am quite comfortable with it and wouldn't want to change it even if I could.