To:All Conch Members and Wannabes
Re:Behavioral Issues at Events
It has come to the attention of management that SOME members of the FCD Forum, who shall remain nameless, (except through photo captioning), have been behaving in a less than preferable manner. Such behaviors are prohibited, and we feel embarassed that we must reiterate them in this memo.
Regretfully, the following practices will not be encouraged by management at upcoming events:
Kitten Juggling, Sheep Wrangling, (inflatable or otherwise), Hula Skirt Lap Dances, SCUBA tanks filled with helium only, and fruit punch gatorade mixed with the water in Ginnie Main's entrance to scare the swimmers, will all be considered inappropriate behavior. Remeber, we are trying to take over the world quietly through subterfuge and the strategic use of Rabid River Otters via political pathways. We must not reveal ourselves as the Tattoo Rum Drinkers until the time is right. This information is to be held confidential as to our official drink of the Conchs, as well as our political agenda, starting with Cozumel. The drift dive from Ginnie to Cozumel should begin prior to daybreak so we will not be noticed crossing the Gulf Canal.
Note- You did not read this, we were never here, this memo never existed.
Managers-Please forward to all members who do not have access to a computer, and post a copy for three days on the breakroom bulletin board. We now return you to your regularly scheduled debauchery.