My observations on the buddy system

[Krazytomdiver]

As a dive guide,I have been a dive buddy with the very young AND the very old. It's part of the job to provide a valuable service to a variety of people so they can enjoy the wonderful undersea world & all it's unique creatures.

"living life without a hard bottom"
KT

 

[RTee]

Unless I am stuck somewhere by myself, I will pick my diving buddies the same way I pick my hunting buddies...with great care. I will treat them the way I like to be treated. I understand the notion of buddy system and mutual support as this has been my way of life for the past 34 years.

Last year, I got my 16 yr old son OW qualified then Nitrox/AOW qualified. When he comes diving with me and my diving friends/dive shop outings, he will dive with me or with people that we know and have dove with before. So there is an element of familiarity for all involved...and I am never far. Being my friends, they understand the unspoken trust and confidence I place upon them when they have my son as a buddy. My son also understand not only that relationship but the reciprocal as well and he will be dive with them the same way he dives with me.

That should be basic scuba diving 101. I have had my share of insta buddies experience and in all cases they only lasted one single dive as I will refuse to dive with somebody who fails to adhere to the basic principles. Does that mean, it prevents me from diving?...hell no as I have no problem resorting to threesome diving if the need arise

 

[Bubbletrubble]

I see the "why don't others take it seriously" issue as plain selfishness. People think of themselves first and foremost and very few think beyond that, especially in new or "difficult" situations. The funny thing to me is that not paying attention to your buddy is the exact opposite of thinking of yourself. After all, your buddy is your safety net and how many newbies really want to do things without a safety net?

The buddy scenario described by the OP is more than a little disappointing.
Somehow the buddyless diver has never realized that, if he doesn't know where his buddy is, then he has no idea where his emergency gas reserves are.
That's just pure ignorance. Sad.

One would think that his OW instructor explained that subtlety to him. Perhaps it was explained...but not understood. Perhaps, as offered by NWGratefulDiver, the diver was trying to juggle so many things (operating BCD, keeping breathing under control, kicking, following the instructor) that he ran out of mental bandwidth to attend to his buddy, the rest of the group, and the environment in general. Poor situational awareness. Not to excuse the behavior, but I could see this very easily happening to a beginner. I doubt the diver in question had much experience. Hopefully, all of this was discussed in the post-dive debrief.

 

[tddfleming]

The buddy scenario described by the OP is more than a little disappointing.
Somehow the buddyless diver has never realized that, if he doesn't know where his buddy is, then he has no idea where his emergency gas reserves are.
That's just pure ignorance. Sad.

One would think that his OW instructor explained that subtlety to him. Perhaps it was explained...but not understood. Perhaps, as offered by NWGratefulDiver, the diver was trying to juggle so many things (operating BCD, keeping breathing under control, kicking, following the instructor) that he ran out of mental bandwidth to attend to his buddy, the rest of the group, and the environment in general. Poor situational awareness. Not to excuse the behavior, but I could see this very easily happening to a beginner. I doubt the diver in question had much experience. Hopefully, all of this was discussed in the post-dive debrief.

He was filling out his dive log while next to me, and he had in way more dives than myself. I did see a number 47, I am not sure if there were more dives behind that one. He just came off from a week live aboard. Where all they did was dive. 18 reef dives and I think 8+ wreck dives. I think he was a senior in high school and was cert. several years ago. I felt he was a little strange myself. Something just did not sit right with me about him. If I could do some betting, I would go with he had ADHD or something like that.

I guess this is one example that logged dives does not equal experience.

As I stated earlier, that I have seen some with 5,000+ dives that I would not trust, here is my example:

My old octo was breathing wet, took it into the LDS from which I bought it to have it looked at. They come back that it is to breath wet, due to the fact that it was a swivle. I did not like the answer so I bought another from someplace else. My husband went into the old shop for a fill and the owner asked how my octo was doing, husband replys, breathing wet just like you had said. Owner says, yea, well it is not for her anyway. Husband comes back with, your right, it is for our daughter. Owner just looked at him. Awkward silence.

 

[CamG]

Greetings tddfleming and be sure to congratulate your daughter for me as well as yourself!
AOW is a great step toward becoming a growing diver and as you have shared you have already learned the importance of buddy AWARENESS!
BA is not a impossible skill to master but it has to be stressed and in my training as a OW diver I was called out BIG TIME!
Not only was it made plan to me what I needed to work on it was put very plainly that if I did not I FAILED!
That alone provoked me to maintain good buddy contact and before OW was over I was spot on.

Since then I have dove with many students and used the same words to enhance their BA.
When you are diving a single tank recreationally you use the BUDDY SYSTEM!
End of story no debate on the issue.
Diving with a family member needs to be taken very serious and as you mentioned the strengths and weaknesses need to be frankly talked about.
There is no excuse to not master diving skills just because your buddy is better at it than you are.
I was just like you and I had issues with navigation in OW, by AOW it was starting to get better
In about 20 dives it was no big shake but I worked on it every dive!

When ever a skill is not fresh and clean attach it with a determination to master it and keep it fresh.
Do not fear a detailed dive plan that it will be the kill joy of a simple dive actually it makes every dive productive regardless of time and depth.
Skill building has taken me to some very interesting places and have had many dive opportunities to learn very much from others.

In my tight knit circle we train self rescue skills very seriously and do not allow these skills to get rusty but we never let buddy skills slide either!
Could we solo dive? Sure we could we have training and gear to do so but we dive as a team because as others have mentioned in some environments your buddy IS YOUR LIFE!
Find a mentor we always say but I am hearing that you are having trouble seaking one out.
Possibly a local dive club or LDS actively diving could help you find a willing participant.

In our area we have a group of divers who offer help with skills and offer advice while diving. Get involved in your local scene or the clubs here on SB.
If I get to Virginia this summer I will look you up, I have a good friend in southern OH who dives there on occasion.

CamG Keep Diving....Keep Training....Keep Learning!

 

[gsk3]

saxplayer - I think you are making the common mistake of confusing team-orientedness with individual incompetence. Good teams have members that are able to take care of themselves. The difference is that they also have a backup--a true backup--in the form of their teammates. I think a lot of people have frustrating experiences in dysfunctional teams and run off straight to a rugged individualist mentality. And it works for them, and that's great. But it would have worked just as well if not better to run in the other direction, towards diving in good teams.

If you ever come down this way let me know and we will meet someplace and dive together, thanks

Thanks. Will do.

 

[seaducer]

One would think that his OW instructor explained that subtlety to him. Perhaps it was explained...but not understood. Perhaps, as offered by NWGratefulDiver, the diver was trying to juggle so many things (operating BCD, keeping breathing under control, kicking, following the instructor) that he ran out of mental bandwidth to attend to his buddy, the rest of the group, and the environment in general. Poor situational awareness. Not to excuse the behavior, but I could see this very easily happening to a beginner. I doubt the diver in question had much experience. Hopefully, all of this was discussed in the post-dive debrief.

You would think that would be the case, it sounds good. Brand new divers have so much to think about, because nothing is natural yet, that perhaps they forget or just can't also handle being a true buddy.

IME brand spanking new divers make some of the best, most attentive buddies I have ever dived with. Once they realize you know some stuff, are not a butthead and can teach them some cool things, they stick to you like glue u/w, watching everything you do and keeping close to your gas.

Its a shame that about 50 dives later they will get too comfortable, and forget all about being a buddy.

Not all of course, but it seems to go that way. 40-100 dives is when they seem to push the limits of safety, then many come back to actually being good buddies.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

IME brand spanking new divers make some of the best, most attentive buddies I have ever dived with. Once they realize you know some stuff, are not a butthead and can teach them some cool things, they stick to you like glue u/w, watching everything you do and keeping close to your gas.

This is true ... I love diving with pretty new divers, and one of the most common things I have to explain to them is that there's such a thing as "too close" ... you have to allow your buddy space to move around.

I have one dive buddy I once nicknamed "Velcro" ...

Its a shame that about 50 dives later they will get too comfortable, and forget all about being a buddy.

Not all of course, but it seems to go that way. 40-100 dives is when they seem to push the limits of safety, then many come back to actually being good buddies.

This is an interesting phenomenon ... at about 50 dives, most folks start getting comfortable. And with comfort sometimes comes some form of complacency. The hardest to deal with are those who decide that they've figured it all out ... what I sometimes refer to as the "50-dive experts". At that point, they're like a teen-ager ... you can't tell them a thing, because they already have all the answers. Best you can hope for is that they'll not get themselves in too much trouble until they've logged a couple hundred more dives and start to realize that, after all, there are a few things they have yet to learn about ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[gcbryan]

There is another variant on the topic of buddy diving and that's the person who feels that they are a good buddy but that their buddy is always running off and becoming lost. While the other person may be more at fault it takes two to be good buddies and two to be bad buddies

Some people don't understand the concept of leading and following. Buddies can swim side by side and still have one "lead" the dive and one follow. The leader still has the responsibility to go slow enough and the follower still has the responsibility to go fast enough and both have the responsibility to signal the other when any change of course is planned.

 

[seaducer]

This is an interesting phenomenon ... at about 50 dives, most folks start getting comfortable. And with comfort sometimes comes some form of complacency. The hardest to deal with are those who decide that they've figured it all out ... what I sometimes refer to as the "50-dive experts". At that point, they're like a teen-ager ... you can't tell them a thing, because they already have all the answers. Best you can hope for is that they'll not get themselves in too much trouble until they've logged a couple hundred more dives and start to realize that, after all, there are a few things they have yet to learn about ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

That sounds like me

Until someone I was diving with got bent, seriously long term hospital may not ever be able to dive again bent, and was diving more conservative profiles than I was.

I got me an education real quick. And then I learned about all the stuff I didn't know I was clueless about for awhile. I am slowly catching up, but damn science keeps piling more stuff on that I haven't learned yet, at this rate I won't be able break even.

I got lucky because I kind of acted in the beginning like the rules were for other people. And if I can impart anything to new divers, it is that the rules apply to everyone, so don't get complacent...