I carry Spiny Lobsters in a mesh bag. Yes, they can rub up your wetsuit if there is too much contact, but it sounds like the sort of wear you are describing is more acute. But I agree, if the wear is at the point of contract, it does very strongly point to that being the cause.
When I hunt whilst solo diving, I usually grip the lobster against my chest or my thigh, whilst I open the bag with the other hand, and despite direct neoprene-to-carpace contact with a flapping lobster, I am still not getting any serious deterioration.
Only thing I can think of is maybe your wetsuit has some kind of defect that makes it more liable to wear.