The funny thing about scuba is...
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xcelratr
Registered
"What did the scuba diver say when he swam into a wall?"
Wait for it....
oh yeah......
"Dam".
Wait for it....
oh yeah......
"Dam".
pjones
Contributor
"Young attractive male seeks female dive buddy for shared recreation and friendship, must have boat. Please send photo of boat."
pjones
Contributor
Two divers go spear fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore.
The first one says, "I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish."
The other answers, "Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot."
"You idiot!" cries the first, "How do you know we will get the same boat tomorrow?"
The first one says, "I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish."
The other answers, "Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot."
"You idiot!" cries the first, "How do you know we will get the same boat tomorrow?"
pjones
Contributor
Two divers surface after a long, deep dive. As their heads pop out of the water, a squad of jets (called Buccaneers in South Africa) flies low above their heads. The one diver puts his hands over his ears and shouts, "It's those Buccaneers!!!" To which the other replies, "Yeah, mine are hurting too!"
pjones
Contributor
How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?
Four skin divers.
pjones
Contributor
The things you won't hear from a dive operator when booking a trip.
"Hey, you're the first guest since...'the accident'."
"Sorry, we can't take reservations until last week's group is found."
"Our boats are Reef Diver I and Reef Diver III. Reef Diver II is our first dive for the day, located in 130 feet, five miles out."
"We can make you a really good deal if you know something about boat engines."
"Don't worry about the currents, if we don't find you I'm sure Search and Rescue will."
"That whale shark pictured in our brochure is the only one we've seen in 20 years of diving here."
"Hey, you're the first guest since...'the accident'."
"Sorry, we can't take reservations until last week's group is found."
"Our boats are Reef Diver I and Reef Diver III. Reef Diver II is our first dive for the day, located in 130 feet, five miles out."
"We can make you a really good deal if you know something about boat engines."
"Don't worry about the currents, if we don't find you I'm sure Search and Rescue will."
"That whale shark pictured in our brochure is the only one we've seen in 20 years of diving here."
pjones
Contributor
How To fail your open water test
Tell your instructor you will race him to the surface.
Loudly proclaim that safety stops are for "wussies".
Spit in your wetsuit and pee in your mask.
Tell your instructor there is no way you can lift a cylinder with 2,000 pounds of air in it.
Tell your instructor you will race him to the surface.
Loudly proclaim that safety stops are for "wussies".
Spit in your wetsuit and pee in your mask.
Tell your instructor there is no way you can lift a cylinder with 2,000 pounds of air in it.
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