Top Ten ways to fail your OW Course (courtesy Rodales)

[Scuba~dog]

Top 10 Ways to Fail Your Open Water Test:
10. Ask your instructor if your regulator "ain't one of those Argentine bolo things".


9. Tell your instructor you'll "race him to the surface."


8. Lie face down and motionless on the bottom while holding your breath.


7. Tell the instructor that you are planning to buy equipment at a competing shop's "killer sale" next week.


6. Loudly proclaim that safety stops are for wusses.


5. Strap a cardboard dorsal fin to your back and go around biting people in your class on the leg as they are ascending.


4. Show up with a set of tables based on your own algorithm "that's WAY better".


3. Spit in your wetsuit; pee in your mask.


2. Ask the instructor which fin goes on your left foot and which goes on the right.


1. Tell your instructor there's no way you can lift a tank that has 3000 pounds of air in it.

 

[art.chick]

These people have been diving a while, but still made a few goofs in their Master Diver Class:

1) Entered the water wearing own left fin & much smaller person's right fin

2) Filled float with confetti & streamers before class which entangled the 6 weight belts left inside during rescue exercise.

3) "Rescued" puzzled diver from another dive boat; left own "victim" on bottom.

4) Used buddy as unwitting floatation device while panicking over freeflowing regulator.

5) Jumped in with no weight belt while buddy sank fast with too much lead.

6) Lost grip on float in surf zone with over 100lb of weights in it & fell face-flat as the giant hockey puck shot up the beach thru lucky but unaware bathers.

7) Gashed head on rock while fixating on digital compass.

8) Lost bearings on compass by using console to bust open sea urchin.

9) Confused signal for ending dive with personal signal for "Cute fish."

10) Left whole dive bag in own driveway & had to assemble full compliment of gear for odds n ends at lake. (Looked like a clown, but made the dive!)

 

[hitomi316]

artchick, THIS WAS great !!! it has been a good laugh and it made me feel so not alone(lol lol) This gives us new ones hope yet!

 

[dc4bs]

I've got a bit of video I took in the Caymans at Eden Rock. I was working on Underwater Videographer and wasn't all that familiar with the camera yet.

I was following other divers through a swimhrough and was so busy keeping the camera steady and focused on them I hit my head as I followed them under the arch.

The camera shot makes a nice, smooth pan and entry to the swimthrough and then suddenly stops, wobbles, tilts to the side and cuts off.
Everyone got a good laugh back at the hotel when we watched the tape that afternoon (it's prety obvious what happend).

 

[Zeina]

An Advanced diver on a liveaboard boat in the Maldives ACTUALLY said:

I am not ascending fast enough, my computer keeps displaying "SLOW"

And she was dead serious, too!!

 

[Caribbean Carla]

COLOR=deeppink]I am scared!!!![/COLOR] Unfortunatly I have run into some of those people!!!!!!!!!!! Very funny!


thanks for the laugh!

 

[Northeastwrecks]

Is that why computers aren't DIR?

 

[SSIdiver02]

Very funny post, peeing in your mask would probably get you incarcerated as well :cop:

 

[O-ring]

Good ones! The instructor I DM for told me that a student asked him to spit in her mask for her once... I thought that was pretty funny/gross..

 

[blackice]

Some of these are work the reread ... they still happen ... hahaha