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Like many, I've been in that situation too. You've got the right (and really only logical) idea with the self sufficient philosophy. As a "single" on a boat (or even shore), it's the old "instabuddy" debate. Some say talk to the assigned buddy and form a plan, discuss equipment, etc. But that doesn't mean it's a good buddy. So you dive "self-sufficient" or stay on board and swallow your $100 (well, there'd be no tip at least). I haven't done the latter and doubt many have.The hardest thing to overcome is getting off work to go dive! Really though my first thing that freaked me out for about 5 seconds was being in an overhead environment and then diving to depth. After a quick woosah I checked my self mentally. Since then my only issue to overcome is finding a dive buddy and a dependable dive buddy. For example I went just last week and did a drift dive on the Ana Cecilia in west palm. Since I had to rely on the instabuddy I was with who I was with. I was taking a photo of a lobster at about 80ft. My dive buddy was there when I started taking pictures, next thing I know I don't see a soul around me. I found the "group" when someone started banging their tank when they saw a loggerhead turtle. As a new diver having someone there with you is simply comforting. I have since developed a self sufficient mentality even with dive buddies. So the hardest thing as a new diver in my opinion is finding a dependable dive buddy. If your on a charter without your own buddy, then get "paired" with someone else, well everyone has their own priorities. As a new diver you need a sense of security (even if false) to get accustomed to being under water and instilling basic skills. Getting that sense of security to keep you interested in diving is a consideration. People have a sense of security when they are getting certified because they rely on their instructor to save them. But after you get certified and go it alone what then.