Worried mom asking advice

[*dave*]

If your husband has as strong a protective instinct as you, your son will be fine. If your husband is prone to putting his own needs before his child's, you may have cause for concern. I have withheld certs for a junior diver because I felt the parental unit was lacking or showed a disregard for the limits placed on child divers. The role of a child's buddy is more one of a dive guide. Regardless of what anyone might say to the contrary, you are responsible for your child's safety and that responsibility really needs to take priority over any other objective for any dive.

For me, it would make no sense to certify my kid if I were not certified myself. I doubt I'd trust a person I didn't know to take my kid down and that seems to be your only option at this point. Holding him to snorkeling only, after certification, would really suck. Get dad certified and get some experience and additional training.

Your best bet for peace of mind lay with dad.... if he's capable.

 

[oddible]

I'd recommend enrolling him in a Lifeguard / Lifesaving course which I believe you can start at age 12 (maybe it is 13)(probably should enroll your husband too). This will both get him more time in the water as well as teach him how to stay in control in threatening water situations. It will also teach him another layer of the risk involved in water activities (watching videos of adults drowning in 3 feet of water at a water slide park was a shocker to me about how the human mind works). The BSA probably also has a Lifeguard merit badge but it won't be in any way as complete as going through the whole lifeguard program (which involves 3-5 courses depending on where you are).

 

[Slosmurf]

Thou I commend your swimming capability of 5-10 miles a day that does not make you a better diver then someone else. Diving can be dangerous but it can also be very SAFE . We work with kids all the time and some are better then others but everyone always has a great time.

As a Father and a Divemaster I would say you are being a mom and thats a good thing but don't ruin it. Let your son and husband dive. I assume that the Scuba Merrit badge is not a certification???? If not then you are right about him "taking another class" to get certified but if so then why hold him back? Snorkeling and swimming abilities DO NOT make you a better SCUBA diver. SCUBA diving does.

As someone else said after certification go on dives where a divemaster will be present or hire a guide.

Just to be clear-my point about being a strong swimmer was that I felt I was a lot more secure and comfortable in the water at that age than my son is now. I would say being a better swimmer might make you a bit safer as a Scuba diver. Distance swimming has nothing to do with it- is is your comfort level in the water- you might be less likely to panic when you run into a snag.

The Merit badge does mean my son will be getting certified. My husband will be taking a class eventually-but not for some time.

I am excited for him to experience this as I remember how much I enjoyed my years of diving- I just think of some of the "situations" or "snags" I encountered- and wonder how would a 12 yr old have handled them? I am letting him get certified but will continue to have him work on his snorkeling and swimming skills. He will dive locally in novice areas with a DM I can trust and continue to take courses to improve his training. I must say I have been shocked at the training offered in his first class. Far less than the training I received. That doesn't increase my comfort level either!

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond.

 

[GrumpyOldGuy]

I am a proud, retired BSA scoutmaster. Father of 2 sons (both scouts) who certified at 14 and 16 respectively (independent of scouting) and became Eagles. So what I have to say is difficult.

1) Most 12YO boys are not ready to be divers. They are simply too immature to be self sufficient divers, mine included. I am sure there are exceptions, but most parents tend to think their kids are slightly smarter, more mature and better than the pack. They simply cannot all be right.

2) Scouting is not a father / son bonding program. A properly run troop has the fathers off to the side, out of the way so the boys can learn to be leaders and make good decisions. The leaders to implement a lot of safety practices, but this is not the same as holding their hands like you would in Cub Scouts. Thinking the father is there to protect the son at every turn is counter productive and a false sense of security.

You have to decide if you son is mature enough. He does not need outstanding swimming skills, but on a dive he needs to understand the risk, plan the dive and be able to act or react properly in an emergency. If he cannot do this, he should not be diving, scouts or not.

 

[retro-steve]

I think the best thing to do here is check out the safety record, how long has this program been done at the locations you listed by the same scout troop? How many accidents or near-misses have they had? If they have an excellent safety record then they must be doing something right and maybe it won't be such a bad thing. If they have an accident or close call every year well I'd probably be reconsidering at that point. The safety record is the biggest thing in my mind, if it has been going on for years then you know kids have been involved who are probably above and below your son's ability and did just fine.

I am not an experienced diver by any stretch of the imagination, but I am a motorcycle and firearms instructor and I do have experience working with children in both. I taught children as young as 10 to shoot handguns (some up to .40S&W) with absolutely no incidents and children as young as 8 to ride minibikes and got some of them into basic race theory on a local kart racing track. Kids just need STRONG supervision in potentially risky activities, if someone with experience has eyes on the whole time then it makes the whole enivornment safer. To that note I found the most problematic influence on the kids was the parents, as the parental stress level went up so did the kids. Being right beside the kid freaking out at every little thing done causes them a lot of stress and can make a new experience a very bad one (a lot of kids would quit because of parental pressure), if the parents trusted me to do my thing and watched from the sidelines the kids had way more fun and almost all came back for more.

This is just my view as an instructor in other dangerous activities and I hope you piece it together with what the SCUBA instructors are telling you, they'll know way more about kids' capacity to dive safely.

 

[LakeCountyDiver]

Just to be clear-my point about being a strong swimmer was that I felt I was a lot more secure and comfortable in the water at that age than my son is now. I would say being a better swimmer might make you a bit safer as a Scuba diver. Distance swimming has nothing to do with it- is is your comfort level in the water- you might be less likely to panic when you run into a snag.

The Merit badge does mean my son will be getting certified. My husband will be taking a class eventually-but not for some time.

I am excited for him to experience this as I remember how much I enjoyed my years of diving- I just think of some of the "situations" or "snags" I encountered- and wonder how would a 12 yr old have handled them? I am letting him get certified but will continue to have him work on his snorkeling and swimming skills. He will dive locally in novice areas with a DM I can trust and continue to take courses to improve his training. I must say I have been shocked at the training offered in his first class. Far less than the training I received. That doesn't increase my comfort level either!

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond.

Look being a better swimmer does not make you a "better" scuba diver. What makes you a better Scuba diver is your ability to think, to remember your training and how to deal with problems. Being able to swim and use a snorkel does not. I am very comfortable in the water and grew up in it but I can't swim a mile without being heavily fatigued. It is the basic skills that you learn in your Openwater class that mean the most.

Furthermore either he is ready to handle this or he is not but you "putting him back on snorkeling" is only going to hurt his skill and training. I work with kids that snorkel and they ALWAYS make the common mistake of holding there breath when they come out for SCUBA. The training is different no matter how you look at it. Either you let him dive or you tell him he needs to wait till your husband is ready to go.

As far as your training goes that was some time ago. A LOT has changed since then. Not sure when you got certified (year) but OW classes used to be very thorough and long and include deep,night,and Navagation which is a lot to learn. So the coarse was much longer. Now they have broke them up and put stricter limitations on the certifications and/or now at least seem to follow them.

 

[Bubble_Boy]

It's always a good idea to ask opinions on this site but I think you'll have the clearest view from their instructor. For example if they paid attention, if they followed the rules, if they were comfortable in the water… It'll then be your decision if you can trust them to keep following basic scuba rules. my 0.02...

 

[Dhboner]

I dive with my two sons age, 23 and 26 and I still have my eyes on them constantly throughout each dive...they are both very competent divers but I am a Dad and I can't escape that!

Would I have let them do an open water dive at age 12...I can't honestly say I would.

We all have to make decisions that are within our comfort zone and I would be way out of my comfort zone allowing them to dive open water at that age.

Your guys might be very different and ready for the challenge, but that's an assessment that you and your husband have to make together. Open water diving requires a level of maturity and clear thinking that I doubt too many 12 year olds have developed.

My opinion (worth nothing really) would be encourage them to continue to snorkel and step up to diving in a couple of more years.

Bob (Toronto)

 

[LivBlue]

I'm not a parent and am looking forward to getting my OW in two weeks.

Something I'm thinking on while looking to getting my OW besides what do I need, reading my books, taking the test ect is the responsibility of my dive buddy. There is a lot of talk about your husband looking out for your son. But what if your husband needs his help? The buddy system seems to be an equal road of he watches your back and you stay with him and watch his. Its something to think of anyway. I'm not a parent but am planning on diving with my partner, but we've agreed to take the class separate so that we don't "lean" on each other too much while learning. Then once we're trained we should have different experiences and be able to help each other equally. Its a theory anyway. Anyway while thinking on if you son is mature enough to help himself, I guess I'd wonder is he mature enough to think about helping someone else as well.

 

[*dave*]

But what if your husband needs his help?

In all but a few cases, he's likely screwed and the kid will be scarred for life. That's why the kid's buddy needs to have his **** together.